Bill
Bernat is a recovering addict living with bipolar condition who advocates for
mental health awareness through speaking, comedy and storytelling. In Ted Talk
he raises a difficult society topic which is a depression. He also gives
advices how to talk to people with mental issues and what we should avoid. I
invite you to watch the video.
Questions:
1.
Do you often talk with people with
depression? Do you feel awkward when you do?
2.
Are you willing to be friend with them or
maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
3.
What would you do if someone close to you
told you he was depressed?
4.
Do you have your own way how to help
people fight with their depression?
Comments
No, I have never talked with people in depression. Fortunately, my friends and relatives have not had this mental disease.
If I had to communicate with somebody with depression, I don`t think it will be awkward for me.
2.Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
If they are my friends or relatives, I will try to help, be friendly and do everything I can. However, if it is a stranger, I prefer to avoid him or her. Possibly, I will just help them to find a doctor. Cause I am an introvert and a very emphatic person and sometimes can feel miserable or disappointed myself. In everyday life, I want to be surrounded by positive things.
3.What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
First of all, I will find a good psychotherapist to give them professional retreatment. Also, I will try to encourage them to some tasks to make them feel needed and useful. It can be, for example, household chores, shopping or some creative work like making songs/video.
4.Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
My way to help somebody fight with depression is advising visit a good psychotherapist, cause it is a serious mental illness which needs a professional to get over it. I have watched a lecture about depression by Robert Sapolsky, an American professor of biology, neurology, neurological sciences and neurosurgery at Stanford University. He explained the biology root of depression and why people fall into apathy.
When it comes to creating friendships, honestly, I wouldn’t mind being a friend with a depressed person. The thing is that, as long as someone is good for me, than I have no problem with them and no business in avoiding them. We all have problems, don’t we? The real problem appears when I start feeling their depression, when it starts affecting me and my mind. The first thing I would do (I know because I have already been in such situation) is trying to help. If that doesn’t work and the person would just keep affecting my mind with their depression than I think I would just try to stop being in touch with them.
Answering the third question, as I said before, I have already been in such situation and what I did was trying to help. I contacted the best psychologist, talked with that person to let me help and just took care of the situation.
The thing is that I am in a very close relationship with two depressed people. And both of them love to spend time around me as they said that I am the happiest person they know. They love the fact that I am positive and always smiling, and when they are around me, they just feel like life might be a little better. So I guess my way to help is just to stay positive around such people and show them that the world is beautiful.
1. I don't know, I can't tell if someone is depressed or not. Besides, I generally don't talk much to people.
2. I have no opinion on this. Friendship is born out of interest, shared passions, spending time, etc.
3. Most likely, I would start talking about it and would do my best to help my friend. I would talk a lot about it and about possible treatment.
4. No, I don't have any ways to help people fight depression. I'm not a doctor so I don't know what is the best option for them. But I would certainly be supportive of such people.
I had a few friends that suffered from depression or bipolar disorder. I also have a colleague suffering from schizophrenia. It’s never awkward, at least not to me. It never was. The only thing that I felt sometimes, that I don’t feel talking to people without those mental health problems, was some kind of… helplessness? I felt angry and sad at the same time, that those people are such wonderful human beings, and I can’t really help them. Sometimes I just stood there and watched my friend (suffering from bipolar) turn from laughter to crying and saying things about jumping out of her balcony. Because there’s not much you can do then. They take medicine, they go to specialists, but you’re quite helpless. You can be there for them, hug them, try to distract them. But you’re not the one that can really help in a way that is going to change the situation drastically.
The second question I’m going to answer fast: yes, of course. And this particular question hurts me. As this shouldn’t be a question at all. I’m still a person, right? I’m depressed, I have anxiety and panic attacks, I have breakdowns and I’ve had suicidal thoughts, but I still want to be loved and respected. It’s really hurting me also because loneliness is the one thing that can make the depression worse. Turning away from someone suffering depression or other mental health diseases is just pure cruelty. People turned away from me too, and my parents are not really comprehending the fact that I’m depressed and it’s not helping. In fact, the most breakdowns, suicidal thoughts and anxiety attacks mostly happened (and still sometimes happen) when I was alone. If someone could say no to being a friend with someone else just based on the fact of them being depressed, shame on them.
Let me answer the 3rd question by telling you what happened when I told my boyfriend I think I might suffer from depression. Well, actually we kind of came to this realization in the same time, but when I first admitted it, he was super supportive. But trouble became later, when I haven’t yet reached help from a psychiatrist. I cannot imagine, what he was going through, when I sat on my chair crying and hiding in my blanket, while he was trying to make me talk to a anti-depression hotline. I was scared and tired of everything. He watched me have panic attacks, breakdowns so strong I couldn’t get up from my bed. I cannot imagine what he went through with me, as he was, in my opinion, in a worst position that I was – he watched a loved one break into hundreds of pieces and suffer, while he could do literally nothing. Just try to talk to me and tell me it was going to be alright, but until I’ve started medical treatment, nothing really helped. Telling someone you’re depressed isn’t the worst part. The worst part comes afterwards, when you show them what it’s like when you’re not wearing a mask.
As I went through this hell on my own, I’d say, if I ever again meet someone with untreated depression, I’m going to force them to get help. It’s never an answer to hurt yourself or try to manage it on your own. When you have pneumonia, you don’t just sit around fighting for every breath and hoping it’ll get better on it’s own (at least not if you want to live). Depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and a lot of other mental health issues are not a joke and they’re as important as any other diseases. It’s not just “being sad”, not a “phase”, not an “excuse”. Now I’ve experienced it myself and I know it’s real and dangerous. My advice to you all – if you’re going to ever find out someone you know, like, love is depressed – just be there for them. Whatever it takes. Because you wouldn’t leave someone over a broken leg or twisted ankle. And depression is no different.
and it becomes harder and harder to recognize poeple with mental illness.
I know a few, but propably I don't know about everyone. It is hard to tell sometimes. There are just normal people, sad, helpless but people. The conversation with them isn't much different, of course there are times when things are worse and they need more help, but actually doing causal stuff is the best.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
When I look on my closest friends actually most of them have something connected to depression or also live with someone with it. It helps relates to many problems and bond people together. I prefer to avoid dumb people not the ones that just want feel like a part of something bigger.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
Simple, first recognise how hard they feel right now. Maybe some talk shorter or longer and then I would try to find something to make them focused on other stuff. My friend once called me somewhere about 21 PM becuase that friend's parent had a stroke. It was the time of the last straw that breaks the camel's back really. First we talked and then we played... battleships on the internet. You know the good, old paper-like battleships till 2 AM before a friend could finally take a break and fall asleep without complete darkness inside. Giving a person connection, talk and some stuff to do really can make a differance.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
Yes, find them stuff to do. It works almost all the time. People like the idea of being something bigger or just not being completly alone. A good talk or team project to work on can give fuel to fight worse days and at least find a bit of peace even if the true smile is long way to occur.
2. If the person is a great human being then why not? If I like talking to them and they like talking to me, if we find each other interesting and want to be friends then absolutely I will be their friend.
3. I would ask how can I help them. And will make sure to regularly check on them, and will make sure they know that I'm always ready to listen or to do whatever they will need. Also, I will make sure to educate myself as much as possible on the topic.
4. I think just spending time with them, making them feel loved and needed. Doing something fun together or just talking. Showing that I care and that I'm always open to listen about everything.
I don’t know anybody with depression, so I don’t talk about it.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I am willing to be friend with them. Why not.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
Nothing I can do. Depression is a disease. I am not a physician.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I don’t have any knowledge how to deal with depression.
2. I don't have any special guidelines for such people, I don't treat them any differently. So if they are good people and I enjoy spending time with them, of course they can be my friends, but I don't force friends with them because they are depressed.
3. I think I would talk about his problems and try to put them in a slightly better perspective. I would definitely try to convince the other person that it is worth finding positive elements in every situation and that if it is very bad, it can only get better.
4. I don't find myself in this situation often, so I don't have prepared behaviors that I would perform. I am also not a psychologist and I don't know if I would be able to deal with such difficult conversations as not to harm the other person.
I believe I have spoken to people with depression more times than I am aware of. People often hide what gets them down. When I know that the person I’m talking to has depression I struggle to act normal.
2) Are you willing to be friends with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I’m a bit of an introvert myself, therefore, I would struggle to be friends with someone who is rejecting me because they are depressed. We need the optimists in this world to reach out to the pessimists.
3) What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would tell them to ask for professional help. For example, start therapy sessions or, if the problem is more severe, seek medical treatment. Depression is a disease like any other. I would be too scared to try to help cure their depression myself. When it comes to mental health, thing can go south unexpectedly.
4) Do you have your own way to help people fight with their depression?
As naive as it may sound, I am a true believer in doing sports to combat depression. A hard workout or a long run puts you day-to-day problems into perspective. It’s really hard to focus on your worries if you’re battling though voluntary physical pain. Spending time outdoors, close to nature also has a calming effect on me.
2. As it happens, I partially understand this question and do not feel that anyone should be offended by it. People with mental problems can be very burdensome in establishing relationships. People suffering from depression may try to burden their loved ones with their problems. Or try to be close to someone with borderline personality disorder. Of course, I'm not trying to say: don't be friends with anyone who has mental problems. I'm just trying to emphasize that there are potential situations where a relationship with such people can be dangerously burdensome, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone avoided such relationships because he himself had once been in a relationship that fell apart from the other person's mental problems.
3. I would take it seriously and try to advise on the best possible steps to get out of it. You can never say things like: "you'll get over it", "don't make up stupid things, you're fine", "go for a run you will feel better" (it happens that running improves your mood but does not solve your problems). You should approach with understanding, empathy and a willingness to help. Of course, we should not play psychologists, but we can try to motivate the person to go to a specialist. It's no shame to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Their job is to help people. People say very often that they don't want to eat drugs. Or maybe they should? The brain is an organ like any other. It can also work badly and sometimes needs to be helped to restore the chemical balance.
4. It seems to me that average individuals are incompetent to try and solve someone else's complicated mental problems. As loved ones, acquaintances, friends, we can simply support, show understanding and simply be with someone. We can also advice seeking medical/psychological help.
Actually, if you have any problems try looking for videos about them on youtube. What I write may seem strange, but often advice from people who have dealt with specific problems can be helpful.
2. Well, I guess I wouldn't befriend people because they are depressed. If one of my friends were depressed, then of course I wouldn't avoid them and I'd do anything i could to help. No doubt that being around depressed person might get awkward, but there are some priorities.
3. I'd have tried to help and if my methods wouldn't be enough, I think I'd recommend seeking professional help.
4. Well, only in theory. I think that beside psychological factors, there are pretty important physical factors. Eating healthy, sleeping well and doing at least moderate amount of exercises is at least basic, to get better.
I don’t know, I think not. It seems that all my friends are always positive, optimistic and in a good mood. I think we all have bad moods, stress, etc. sometimes, and we think it's depression. It's okay, but I don't like it when people share it with me, because I don't know what to advise and say. I think everyone has their own problems and worries and you shouldn't load each other, if you need a psychologist, you need to treat at least a drink)
2.Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I would say it's okay if it's not that often. When this happens too often, when a friend does not give you positive energy, then willy-nilly you begin to avoid this friend. I think usually such people are not very good friends, because they do not know how to listen, but only speak.
3.What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
Probably, I would have listened to him, I would not have given any advice. I think nobody needs advice. It seems to me that the main thing in depression is to have a person who will listen. But this is bad practice, personally I then avoid this person and keep distance.
4.Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
No i don't like to do it. I can only listen
I wouldn't brush off anyone just because they are sick. Depression is not a personality trait, but a sickness, so discriminating depressed people based on their sickness would be like discriminating any other sick person.
If someone close to me told me he was depressed I would offer him my help. Knowing that there are people who support you means a world to a sick person. Hearing them out and comforting them in their sickness gives them strength to face their sickness.
If someone had symptoms of depression I would definitely recommend them to go to the psychiatrist. Depression is a disease so it should be cured by a real doctor. With good treatment and therapy sessions depression can be cured, so no one should feel ashamed to reach for treatment.
Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I've ever spoken to a depressed person. Of course, I've talked to dejected and sad people, but depression is a kind of a bigger disease.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
Yes, why not. You might as well put yourself in that person's shoes and ask yourself if I would like everyone to turn their backs on me.
3/4. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
First of all, I would try to understand such a person. What caused her to be in such a place and of course I would try to help somehow within my capabilities. It seems to me that the best solution would be to refer such a person to a specialist. Depression is a very serious disease that should not be taken lightly. It has a very negative impact on our health, and can even lead to suicide, so people trained to do so - doctors and carers - should fight depression.
No i think i didn't talk with anyone with depression before. My friends maybe have some bad moments because of this quarantine but still it is not that bad to be in depression. In last days i heard that in USA a lot of people have depression and it's more serious percentage than normal. Why should i feel awkward ? I think everyone should give a helping hand in that kind of situation.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
As i said before i think if your friend have depression you should give him a helping hand instead of avoiding them.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would like to help him. Probably i would talk with them about it. I would find some good psychotherapist and also i could try to find some sollution or other ideas on the internet.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
Not yet, as i said before i didn't have opportunity to face this problem before.
I think I have contact with people who are depressed quite often. However, I believe that some people misuse the term. I don't think I feel awkward, but after a while it can be tiring because it affects my own psyche.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I have no reason to avoid such people. You have to help such a person and sometimes it may turn out that we are the only lifeline for such a person, and contact with other people in such a situation may be crucial
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
If I found out that someone close to me is depressed, I would try to maintain regular contact with them and persuade them to visit a psychologist so that someone with experience could help.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I have no way how I can personally help someone fight this disease, so in this case it is good to go to an experienced specialist
I have no experience of depression, so it's hard to judge how I would behave and if I could help.
I do talk to people with depression. I can't really tell if it happens often as people don't show that they are depressed so easly. And i don't feel awkward doing that but in situations when depressed person is literally dragging everyone down - that is the right time to stop conversation going
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I don't mind being friends with them as long as they show any desire to change something. Depression is really tough but fighting it is not something you can give up on easly.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would be there and talk him/her out of it. It wouldn't be easy but as i said in previous question, if there is a desire not to be depressed - he/she can count on me
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I think that the msot import thing is not to leave them by their own. Having people around really helps.
I think that people with real depression mostly prefer to hide it and to avoid the word “depression”, cause it can make them feel even worse. You see, when you say it out loud you seem to admit it and it feels like you make your depression even stronger. I have a friend who was struggling from a depression for months, and she hided it so well that I didn’t even notice. She told me about it a year after. I didn't feel awkward while talking to her, maybe because she is a close friend of mine.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
None of above. I think friendship is built among other principles and values. Whether you are depressed or not, this is not something that can prevent me from being friends with someone.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would warmly ask to visit psychotherapist and I will probably start to check on this person. Maybe call him/her more often, ask to go out.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
Psychotherapist is the best way to help. Depression is a serious desiese, it’s better to trust a specialist in this case. I’m afraid that my advices and my “ways to help” may just make this person feel even worse. And others person mental health is just too much responsibility for me.
We were attending the same middle school class.
Right now, we rarely speak since we are both engaged in education and work duties.
However, when we do, he is open about his issues and I believe it is right thing to do.
I am glad that he chooses me to consult and ask for advice.
Most of the time, I am happy to help out people with their mental issues.
However, if I had to do it on regular basis, it wouldn't be easy for me.
I believe that you need to have both, right mindset and training, to do this often.
Generally, I am living in a mildly stressed environment. My family and I have errands that we cannot simply let go.
Supporting each other, is key to overcoming our challenges.
Our strategy is to think about what could be, not what is right now.
Looking back, we are strong in belief that our efforts are not in vain.
2. A person I know well and would be depressed I wouldn’t change the way I contact her. If I met someone with depression by chance, I would definitely not try to make friends on force.
3. I think that nothing would change too much. The only thing I could advise him on this matter is to see a doctor. And of course still be a good friend to him.
4. The video showed many useful tips on how to keep in touch with a person with depression. For example, how to give them the opportunity to decide if they want to contact us and how often, and to invite them. I don't have my own way to fight with depression because I have never had contact with people who have depression.
2. Ask him about it and let him tell the whole story. With or without depression, talking about and discussing the problems help. Of course, I would not force him to do it, but in most cases, if a person told you about having depression, it means that he is likely to continue and tell more.
3. I am not a doctor. I can be a friend, help somebody go out and talk about the problems. People who are depressed are getting somehow closed inside, both physically and mentally. I can't say it is the best solution, but treating them as a friend, who needs a bit of help will be enough. As it was stated in a video, people with depression might not even care about your opinion. They have to fight it themselves, think about it, find the path. You might give him advice, tell them your opinion, but telling them something like "you must do this and that" is worthless.
I don't often talk with people with depression but sometimes it does happen. Problem is that depressed people often don't reveal themselves and they pretend everything is alright. It means that we generally don't know how many depressed people met. When I talk to depressed person I feel a bit awkward because I know what it's like to be depressed and I can imagine what he is thinking and how he is feeling.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
Yes I willing to be friend with them. It is important you can't force other person or impose yourself. If somebody don't want to spend time with us, you have to respect that. I noticed that it's hard for two depressed people to communicate. This is surprising because it would seem that communication between them will happen because they have something in common.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I think the most important think is to spend time with him/her. Depressed people usually are rejected by the environment/society and they need a lot of conversation so I would do it when somebody close to me say me he is depressed. The conversations won't focus on depression but everything else.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
The easiest way to say that it's worth doing something, devoting yourself to your hobby but depressed people often have no motivation to do anything. People from the immediate vicinity maybe family should spend a lot of time and attention. If it's not enough we should go to specialist more specifically to a psychotherapist.
When I meet new people, I don't immediately patch them whether they can be my friend or not. Of course, you sometimes feel that someone is your soulmate, but this is extremely rare. Generally, a friendship is a relationship that is built over the years. It's something more than someone's illness, what matters is someone's character, exchange of experiences, similar views or interests.
If any of my relatives or friends were ill, they could count on my full support. It's important to make them feel they can count on me, but without any pressure. Being kind, giving them time and attention. Simple conversation, a desire to understand, and as Bill Bernat said - attempt to make them feel more like a part of my life.
I agree with what the speaker said in the video. It's not allowed to judge anyone because we never know what is going on in someone's head. Only a sincere conversation, careful listening and support will allow us to understand the other person and then give them the help they need.
It is rather hard to say because you can know a person ill from depression and not be aware of that, sometimes people suffering from depression can be not aware of being ill. Sating that I do not think I talk often to people with depression. If I do, I do not feel awkward, why should I? I treat them as every other person and I think that often it is what an ill person would like to be treated.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
To be honest I avoid making closer relations with people suffering from depression. You can call me egoistic, but it is really a challenge when someone close to you is ill and there is not much you can do about it, it requires a lot of patience and discipline. I had some experience with depressed people before and in my case those relations started affecting my well-being sometimes even feeling down for most of the time.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
That is personal question and I do not want to expand much on that. What I can say is that I would recommend seeking medical help and give as much support as I could.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I do not really see a significant difference between this and third question.
I don’t think that any mental illness is enough reason for me to stop being friends with someone. Different people deal with different illnesses and I couldn’t end the relationship with someone only because they got ill.
I would tell them that they should continue therapy, and check on them sometimes to find out if they are feeling ok.
I think that the only way to deal with depression is to talk to the specialist, psychologist, or psychiatrist, and follow what they order either it is therapy or medication, or both.
2. I don't hold any preferences regarding that. To emotionally support other people is not simple, requiring patience, understanding, consideration. It might be challenging if for some reason, we feel too responsible for feelings of another person. However, if we care about them, then naturally we want to let them know that they are not alone.
3. That would concern me. I would want to help as much as I can, but not be too pushy in the treatment. It's important to reinforce and encourage the ounce of hope and determination whenever we see it in them. I would hope that even though it is really cloudy in their internal world, they will be brave enough to keep on facing things and moving forward.
4. I wouldn't say I have any specific way of helping them.
Nevertheless, I don't think it should be anything forced or made frightening. I know that when we care about someone, it is so hard to sit still and not do anything, when it is someone closest to us, we see it, witness it. I believe what we should do is tune in to what their current state is, show our intentions, tell them where what we say comes from and then might advise a help from specialist. Not because they are hopeless or unwanted, but because it is okay to not be okay and it is okay to bother people who can guide us and help us. No-one has to be alone.
I think I knew a few people that actually had depression when `i had contact with them. I wouldn't call talking to them awkward, but communication can be some times harder then with people that do not suffer from depression.
2.
I don't see it as a red flag. If I share with that person some hobbies or enjoy spending my time with that person I don't mind if he/she has depression.
3.
I would try to help them by talking to them, trying to propose them some suggestions or
just introduce them to some sport or hobby that they could take satisfaction from.
4.
I wasn't really in a situation where I could directly help those people. The ones I knew and talked to already seeked professional help and they took some medicine, so I'm not sure if I could help them some more.
Most youth from the post-Soviet states are experiencing or have experienced depression. It seems that there isn’t even such a topic as feeling awkward while talking to depressed person because you can appear in situation when everyone you know is depressed.
2.
I think if one avoids friends during difficult times it just shows the quality of this friendship. The process of a¬¬voiding friends represents that one is actually avoiding problems, not people. Human relationships are not always about happiness, fun and joy and that’s normal. It is extremely easy to spend time with someone in a good mood but it’s not the main point about friendship
3.
I would ask what I can do for them. Sometimes, this question can be too difficult, but you should not accept it as your move was wrong. Try to do something and just see the reaction! Act slowly and be very observant – small gestures do matter in this case. Do not hurry your friend with the answer, be patient. Always remember, that now you are trying to help someone, you are not gaining points that show what a good person you are. It means if your attempts of helping were denied, you should not take it personally.
4.
Creation of the safe space is a very practical way to help people fight with their depression. Despite the inner conflict in their minds, people also struggle with the fear that they disturb everyone around with their problems. Always inform them, that their illness doesn’t define them and you are here to help.
2. There is no specific reason why I would avoid people with depression. It is just a disease which has to be cured. Of course it is a long term process but they need friends to get through it.
3. I have had this kind of situation. It is really hard for you to watch people with depression especially when they are close to you. But you need to stay for them they are in need of closeness.
4. As I mentioned I always stay close to this person and if he/she wants to talk about it I'm always here. But I think that every depressed person has her/his own symptoms of depression so there is no clear path how to handle it.
I have a couple friends who have been diagnosed with depression. Maybe I have more friends like that we are just not close enough for them to share with me that kind of sensitive information. I don’t feel awkward - each one of one us could’ve been on their place, if we had that kind of genetics or that kind of obstacles they had to deal with. I definitely become more careful with my wording - I don’t want to say something that can bug that person. But that’s okay, I think
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I have never felt like avoiding yet. I might feel like I need some certain preparation or guiding how to talk to my friends with depression, but discovering these topics in internet was enough for me to understand: it’s okay not to know what to do, you just need to be there for them.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
My father had depression. He wasn’t diagnosed with it since it’s not common within generation of my parents to go see psychotherapist. He talked to close people about it, but they didn’t get it. He died in two weeks he started talking about it. I wasn’t a part of this story, I just heard about it afterwards. But the lesson I’ve learnt from it is that depression is a real thing that can lead to real serious and severe consequences. Close relatives can’t help you with it even though that live you a lot just because they are not psychotherapists it doctors. And that it’s okay to go seek for help if you need it.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I don’t try to treat them as s sick person, and I don’t try to cure them - I can’t do that. But I can be an understanding friend for them who proves - I am here for you, I am listening to you, your depression or whatever they diagnose you with is okay.
To tell the truth it is easier for me not to disturb in their recovering. I care about them, but also I’m afraid that I would say or do something wrong.
I want to believe that if someone told me about his depression, I would rise to the challenge. Bernat’s advices seem to be very useful.
I have a roommate with some psychical problems. She is prone to depression and goes to a psychotherapist. I don't feel awkward when I talk with her. I just try to listen to her, when she feels badly and needs support. Also I try to choose words to not accidentally hurt her.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
To be honest, it’s hard to be friends with depressed people. You always must choose words and listen to your friend, ignoring your own feelings and problems. Unfortunately, sometimes after I spend time with a depressed friend, I feel mentally tired. But I think that depression is not a reason to destroy friendship and avoid your friend.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
One day my boyfriend confessed to me that he had depression before we met. I just asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He related how he got depressed and how he got rid of it. It was an interesting and long conversation. It was a great opportunity to know someone close to me better.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
Depression is a real disease and I’m not a doctor. I think that I have no right to help someone fight with depression. My own way is just to recommend going to therapy and offer my emotional support, if my friend will need some help.
Depression is mentioned in so many movies, series, books or even a songs. It makes us more used to this disease. We know it is popular disease. We are better educated about it and It makes us better prepared when depression happens to us, our nearest and friends.
2. I do not judge or appreciate person from mental-health angle. I know that depression is very serious disease, and I feel sorry for people which struggle with it. I also know how it is to be in touch witch person which has a mental-breakdown. It is hard. We as a friend need to be patient, listening and caring. I have never avoided person because of his/her mental-health.
3. If my nearest or friend tells me that he/she has a depression I would be very sad. I would try to help. Suggest him/her to find some professional help like psychologist. It’s very important. I think that confess to having a depression is a great first step to change. I would be for that person. I would be listening whatever he/she would like to share with me.
4. I don’t have any knowledge how to struggle with depression. It is serious disease and there are specialists which much better know what to do. I would never advise someone invented by my solution to get rid of depression. It is ridiculous. I am not a specialist. I may be just a good friend and be supported.
1. Do you often talk with people with depression? Do you feel awkward when you do?
I have know some people who suffer from depression or anxiety and some of them are my close friends. I’ve never felt awkward talking with them. I think that it is easier if you know if somebody suffers from any of these disorders, because you are prepared for their sometimes different behaviour.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
As I said, I have some friends with depression and I enjoy being with them. They are amazing people who always are ready to help me with my problems. I just know that sometimes they can be more closed or seem to be different but I try to let them know that I completely understand it.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I remember when one of my friends told me that she was depressed and I just told her that she could always count on me and that I would support her in therapy.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
My way to help people with depression is to give them my time if they need it. I know that they really appreciate it because I treat them like other people and don’t let them feel worse because of their illness.
I don’t think so that I often talk with people with depression and even if I’m doing it I’m not aware of this. This may be because I don’t pay attention on people and I’m really glad when people are talking straight to me. In my opinion I don’t feel awkward and I don’t really know why I should feel in this way.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
Sincerely I don’t know, but I think that I wouldn’t have a problem to be friends with such a person. I don't mind if other person could have a depression. For me important is being fair and honest, not any kind of sickness.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
Probably I would help this person by simple honest conversation which doesn’t have to be connected with depression.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I don’t have any experience about it, but I think that the bast way to solve that problem will be conversation and spend time together. Sometimes it is just enough to take a break and don’t
think about problems.
I dont really know if i have ever have a chance to talk to sombebody with depression.
2.Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
In general i like to help people especially in need so i would gladly help someone with depresion. Of course firstly i would read something about it or even go to a speecialist to know how to help in a good way not how i think i can help.
3.What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would start preparing how to behave near person like this and to get to know what to do to help this particular person.
4.Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
As i said above, i have never spoken to somebody with depression and my knowleadge about this subject is very limited. I have never had a chance to learn how to follow with people with depression.
when you do?
Seldom, I have spoken to people with diagnosed depression several times in my life. Fortunately, I was able to do that when I was more mature and realised how serious an issue it is.
Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I don't choose my friends based on their illnesses or disorders ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
Depends on who I speak with. I would try to encourage them to speak with a specialist if they were able to. I would also try to provide them with my help as much as I'm able to do so.
I don't always understand what other people might need. I find it difficult, so my help may not be as beneficial.
Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
Same thing as in the question above ;)
I have a friend that considers himself depressed even though he hasn't been diagnosed, so his situation might differ from typical depression. Nevertheless, at times, comunication with him is quite difficult, but I have learned how to deal with this kind of situations, so I wouldn't say I feel anxious or awkward anymore. He is my closest friend so, reffering to the second questions I would say that I definetly want to be in touch with him. I try to comfort him in the hardest moments while encouraging him to work on his inner strengh when he feels better. I think I don't have my own, special way of dealing with this kind of situation - I believe that being emphatetic and simultaneously distanced to some extend is the healthiest arrangment for both sides.
I have spoken with people that are feeling depressed, like everybody these days, but also with diagnosed depression. Why would I feel awkawrd?
Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I don't think about things like that.
What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would advice and encourage them to contact specialist. I would also support him/her and tried my best to be help them.
Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I'm no expert in thing like that so I can only advice contacing specialist.
Well, my one friend has depression and I often talk with him. I don't feel awkard at all because I had depression too.
2.Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
I am willing to be a friend even though it can be hard sometimes.
3.What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would recommend them to talk to a specialist.
4.Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
Well they have to manage it on their own, doctors can help.
2. Yes, I am ready to go to a meeting if a person is interesting to me. Then why not ?!
3. I will definitely support this person, and if he asks for my help, then we will find a specialist who will help him cope with this ...
4. Yes, it is understanding, acceptance and good humor.
1. I very often talk with people with depression and I don't feel awkward, I treat them as normal people, they are no different.
2. I prefer to be a friend to person with depression, but sometimes I would like to avoid them for my oown sake.
3. I would like to give him support and the feeling that he is important.
4. I only suggest general advice from psychologists and meds from psyciastrists.
Yes I do. Sometimes it is very hard and I feel that I can't make a connection with them because it is so hard to picture myself in their situation. I don't feel awkward, rather careful.
2. Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
Yes I don't see a reason why would I pprefer not to. People with depression can be fun people. Depression doesn't always mean that you are sad 24 hours a day. Also if I had a depressed friend I would never leave him but I would rather try to help him.
3. What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
I would try to help him definitely and try to be supportive.
4. Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I try to be supportive but I think depressed people should see a specialist. Propably there are some states of depression that can be cured just by talking with your friends but it is a serious illness.
Indeed, it can be quite awkward sometimes, when you talk with depressed people, my current friends aren't depressed at all though, so my only experience with this kind of people was in the past.
2.Are you willing to be friend with them or maybe you prefer to avoid them for some reason?
In the past I was gladly to have a friend like this, I thought my positivism can help them even a little. Unfortunately, relationships with these kind of people was quite straining on my mind, and I often felt betrayed. That's why I started to avoid them.
3.What would you do if someone close to you told you he was depressed?
Naturally, I would try to help. It also depends on the severity of depression. If it's too much for me to bare, I would suggest them to consult a therapist.
4.Do you have your own way how to help people fight with their depression?
I'm not an expert in this, so the only things I can do is make them laugh and take them outside a lot.