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Week 5 [11.11-17.11.19] Being an introvert

Have you ever been accused of being shy or non-talking? Do you enjoy spending time alone? Have you ever had a feeling that something is different with you? If your answer is yes, then you might be an introvert.

Who are the introverts? In one sentence they are people who get energy from spending time alone. They might be described as unfriendly, lonely or antisocial which is not true! Usually they are very kind people with a lot of good ideas.


https://www.mindler.com/blog/introverts-extoverts-careers/

In what introverts are good at?

  • They are very good listeners. Don’t expect from an introvert to talk a lot in a crowd because most of a time they will just listen and think carefully about their answer. We can describe them as a “good friends”. You can call them and they will always listen to what you have to say without turning it around.
  • They think carefully before speaking. As they rather listen, they choose their words wisely before talking. It seems like they talk only when they have something to say in order to have a big impact with their words.
  • They make quality friends. As introverts prefer to spend time alone, they would rather have a few friends which they can truly trust than a large group of acquaintances. If you have an introvert friend, then you are very lucky as they make committed and loyal friendships.
  • They are good leaders. As they have good skills in listening and they will slowly, thoughtfully process information it makes them good managers and leaders. Instead of taking credits from teamwork successes they will focus on motivating and highlighting their team. People won’t see them as leaders but rather as team members.


https://www.mindler.com/blog/introverts-extoverts-careers/

On the other site we have extroverts who gain energy from spending time with other people. They process differently as they will speak and act before thinking and they can be described as “social butterflies” as they love to connect with new people. As a matter of fact, for introverts living with an extrovert friend or partner works really well as you can let them talk the whole day and listen to them and usually they won’t bother if you prefer to listen instead of talking.

There is a very interesting TED talk called “power of introverts” by Susan Cain which I totally recommend you watch. Susan talks about introverts, how they bring extraordinary talents to the world and encourage them to never feel ashamed or bad the way they are.


Today in our social media age where it seems that the world is created for extroverts it may seem hard to be an introvert… but always remember – there is nothing wrong in being an introvert. It is perfectly normal! And how about you? Are you an introvert? 😊 Let me know your opinion.

· https://medium.com/@jeffrisandy/10-lessons-from-quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking-by-susan-cain-15bdf86e5025
· https://introvertdear.com/what-is-an-introvert-definition/
· https://time.com/5373403/surprising-benefits-introvert/
· https://www.fastcompany.com/3016031/are-you-an-introvert-or-an-extrovert-and-what-it-means-for-your-career
· https://www.mindler.com/blog/introverts-extoverts-careers/

Comments

Cem Ates said…
There was a similar topic which posted by R. Batyuk last week but this TED talking was also interesting to watch so thank you for sharing :) But my answer will be the same, I am just hanging around between these boths, I am pretty introverted in public and with people I'm not familiar with, and extroverted in front of those I know.
For instance, as a being part-of introvert person, it actually doen't mean that I am being shy to talk, it's because introverts aren't just quiet talkers, sometimes I actually don't interested in the topics that the person talk about right? and in other cases I like to joining in conversations if it´s about a topic that I enjoy and know. Shortly, sometimes introvert people are just thinking better when they are alone, for those who we are developers it's even more obvious, we do not like get disturbed while working. lol
It depends on the time of my life. I am most often an introvert. I like to focus on my goals and achieve them. I avoid people. I don't like spending too much time with my friends. Sometimes I have to sit alone in the room, learn, read, program myself. Calms and relaxes to me. I prefer working remotely at home because I don't have to spend so much time with other people.
Sometimes, however, I have such a time that I have to be with people every day. Then I usually party every day. I am looking for new friends and I want to discover new places. As soon as I am alone for a moment I am sad and I feel lonely. So sometimes I'm definitely turning into an extrovert.
......... said…
The truth is that most of us is somwhere in the middle of this two concepts (usually variating between tendency to particular one due to specific situations).
Recently this topic is gaining popularity, which has both positive and negative effects. Firstly it's amazing that people start to feel good with who they really are, because there is not such a thing like world for extraverts (looking back in the history there wouldn't be any of the greatest inventions if people with a different set of mind did not cooperate with each other), on the other hand nowadays we started to experience a trend of making a statement about being an introvert really easily and therefore it initiated a fake image of what it is really about.
I think I'm half introverted and half extroverted. I have such days that I want to be alone, I like silence when nobody disturbs me. You can say that I rest then. But I not avoid people. I like my friends and spend time with them. Then it is hard to keep me silent. In my opinion, I think that each of us is different and everyone should be tolerated as they are. No one should ever tell us how we should be. Diversity is the most beautiful human quality.
Damian Drozd said…
For me personally, it's really hard to classify myself as either introvert or extrovert.
I like working alone but also I like to solve problems by discussing them, like being alone but also spending time with my friends. I can see that lately the discussion about personality got very trendy. I guess it's absolutely normal that those behaviours depends on our daily mood and it would be probably better to not put labels on people, just be yourself.
Kacper Gąsior said…
The same as many people before me, I think I'm somewhere in the middle. On the one hand, I feel comfortable with a company of many people. I can both listen to them and tell my opinions, sometimes even be very talkative. On the other hand, sometimes I feel a need of being on my own. Just to concentrate on myself - read a book, watch a movie. It's something like having a rest from other people. Speaking about friends - I don't have a lot of them, but this I have, I found very valuable.
Answering the question, I can immediately say that I am an introvert. I love spending time alone, at home, with good music, taking care of my business. In fact, I don't like going out to people at all, I don't feel such a need (apart from real friends, of course). I don't like making new friends, I don't like to say a lot, be in the center of attention, but also I wouldn't see myself as a leader, contrary to what you wrote in the article. I wouldn't feel comfortable in a situation where someone would have to rely on my instructions. However, I have to agree with the statement that I have very few friends, but real friends whom I give special trust. So back to the main question, virtually everything you described in the article in my case is true. I find myself much better in the virtual world than the real one. I like to dream, use my imagination and think a lot. Of course, repeating the sentence 100 times before saying it to the waiter when ordering food is an absolute must.
Anna Koca said…
I have seen this movie for the first time few years ago. I was looking for something to help me understand my friend who was introvert. She was avoiding group meetings and parties and prefer to spend time on drawing and reading. I was thinking she is angry, tired and shy. It understood this is hard for introvert to open fast and have fun around laud people and places but it doesn't mean they are less valuable and brave. We should let them be and appreciate them the way they are.
Thx for sharing your opinion, I agree with you about being shy in topics introverts do not get interested and speaking in which they can shine or want to take a part.
I can well understand you because I share your feelings. I like spending time alone, focusing on myself but then some thing changes and I want to dance, meet new people and get energy from them.
Well said Daniel. Life would be so boring if everyone would be equal or have similar topics to talk or just do same activities.
I share your feeling about your friends as I prefer to have less of them but always be able to count on them.
Thx for sharing your opinion Damian. I guess you are in the middle of the line as you have balance between spending time on your own and on the other hand with new people or your friends
Thx for sharing your opinion Jakub. I share some of your feelings about spending time alone as I really like it and feel good when I do that. Also I have few friends but they are really special ones.
I really appreciate your opinion about this article and I'm impressed that you just watched this movie for better understanding someone else. There is power in introverts that they just have to sometimes show out ;)
I agree with you that this topic gained popular these days and poeple may misjudged who they are based on some articles or speeches of other people. About being in the middle of it, I think it is about what we need in particular moment. Sometimes we want to spend time in home alone reading books or relaxing while listening to our favorite music and after that we would like to speak with our friends or meet new people or just go dance in the public.
Zygmunt Z said…
As others said or probably will say, I am somewhere in the middle of extra and introvert. I can't say I am closed and shy person but on the other hand I am not a herd animal, it just depends on my day and how I feel at particular moment. There are days when I love chatting with others about various stuff, laugh about many things or discuss about hot topics but there are also days when I am fed up with everybody around me and I'd rather just stay quiet and mind my own business. I think that kind of differentiation is really healthy, at least to me.
s15385 said…
Sometimes I'm not in the mood to talk and spend time with people. I prefer to be alone and focus on what I'm doing at this time. On the other hand I have days like I need to go out, meet friends and not to stay at home. So I can say person who is in the middle of introvert and extrovert.
I read Your presentation with great curiosity because I’m the exact opposite to the topic. I am definitely an extravert because by definition I get my energy from spending time with people and that is a fact. Of course, sometimes I prefer to be alone and don’t talk for a while but after a longer moment I get bored and I crave for company. I talk a lot and quite loudly which I know can be annoying sometimes. But being an extravert, I still consider myself a good listener as well. It is true that I love to talk but I also love to hear what people have to say and discuss with them. Also I have to disagree that extraverts talk more then think because in my case at least, I have huge thinking process about everything and It’s true that sometimes it happens that I say something before thinking about it but in general I try to don’t make empty promises and carefully express my opinion.
Kuba Berliński said…
I consider myself in the middle of both, it is very mood depended in my case. Sometimes you can feel a spontaneous need of doing something and going out to people, while sometimes all it takes to achieve happines is just lonely evening.

I also consider being an introvert a very normal thing, just like being an extravert. People differ from each other and there is nothing weird about it at all.
Maciej Sadoś said…
I'm definitely an introvert, but my behavior also depends on a day. I have my close friends with who I can talk for hours and be completely "non-introvertic", but for example for strangers and for "public" I'm often a little bit shy and withdrawn. But also not always, as there some days when I feel more resolute. Like others said we have days when we could do everything and some days when we feel somehow depressed or just prefer to stay quiet and spend time alone.
Yes, definitely I am an introvert, but I wish I was extravert. I feel horrible in the company of unknown people and usually I am unable to come up with topics to talk about. I don’t do small talk at all and I think that people may consider me unfriendly, even though that’s probably not true. Extraverts have simply easier life. They get involved in relationships way easier and always seem happier. There is a thin line between introversion and depression.

There are situations though, which require me to make exceptions in the way I normally behave. These are all sorts of activities which have an impact on my career development. Sometimes I make presentations in front of a lot of people or take active part in discussions at work to push forward my ideas and get noticed by other people. I call it a “business alter ego”. As an introvert in the professional life I would probably not achieve anything significant. Instead, I put on a mask and pretend to be extravert which does work so far. It doesn’t work in private life, because being a liar about ourselves never ends up well.
Interesting presentation. It is very hard to answer your question - "Are you an introvert?".
I think I'm somewhere in between. I have the characteristics of introvert as well as extrovert. It all depends on the situation I'm in. Sometimes I have quiet days and I value peace and quiet, and sometimes I need to meet friends or go to a party. However, I must admit that sometimes I feel bad about not belonging to one of the groups.
Marta Matysik said…
I don't know that I can assign myself to any of these groups. I know that it seems that I'm extroverted. But I finds in myself the features that were mentioned above. There are days when I really like to be alone. When I put on headphones specially to cut myself off from the people around me. But it seems to me that everybody has this type of days and that everybody sometimes needs a different person to go out, talk, drink a beer. Sometimes it’s easy to me to talk with strangers and other times I’m shy. So it’s hard to say in which group I am.
Piotr Bednarek said…
In my opinion I'm ambivent. It's mean that I displays classic traits of both introverts and extroverts. It's depends on a situation, for instance when I spend time with my relevants or friends I'm extrovert. In addition I think that with such people I bulid strony relationship, because we spend a lot of time together and we have a lot on common. When it comes to my relationship with streng people I'm insular, for instance I avoid conversation with neighbours or random people that I meet in public transport, at gym etc.
I would like to add that I always try to be myself, because I don't like when someone pretend to be someone else. Each of us is unique and there is no use to wear a mask and hide who you really are.
Dawid Piotrak said…
I'm definitely an introvert and was aware of it for years. As years goes by however I've noticed that I'm leaning towards being an extrovert but only in the environment that is suited for me and where I'm able to charge my 'inner batteries'.
Maciej Szczypek said…
Generally I am an extrovert, unless I do not know the group of people amongst whom I am in a particular moment. I noticed, that when I meet a group of people at once I do not feel comfortable and I am preety shy. It changes with a time, I behave like extra extrovert after longer period of time in the environment that suits me. I also don't feel like introvert when I meet just one or two people at once. Those must be then the bigger groups of unknown people that overwhelms me...
I think im an introvert. I really like beeing alone sometimes but also i do have moments when i need to talk to somebody or to meet with a group of people and then i talk a lot and im soul of the company. Sometimes it also happens when im on a party with a group of strangers but most of the time i like to beeing home alone.
I don't care about the opinions of others. I always do what I think is right. I don't have an Instagram account, I don't use Facebook. Very often in discussions I have a lot of thoughts but I answer succinctly. Then I think about the situation and know that I could say a lot more. I think I can be an introvert. In addition, I believe that Facebook and all social media should be destroyed.
I have changed myself and my habits for some time. Instead of adapting to social frames. I should keep such and such manners. Like this and that. Behave like that. No. I wanted to go alone to "dangerous countries". It was great. I wanted to buy a snake, everyone advised against it. I bought two, I love them. I wanted to buy an adult Doberman, everyone advised me against it because it was dangerous. I did it, everybody now loves her.
I always preferred to be alone and back when I was a teenager I thought there is something wrong with me and was depressed and jeal of popular people. Around high school I finally realised that I like being alone and life of others will not fit my character at all. Since then I live peacefully with myself. It might sound dark but actually I live my life the way I like it and I have friends around me that more or less have similar way of understanding life around them.
Ivan Mazuryk said…
I believe, introversion and extroversion are choices made either consciously or unconsciously. In my opinion, it's good to have a balance of extrovert and introvert features in our personality. That will help to handle day-to-day challenges more effective. As for me, I like my own company, but also I like to spend time with my friends. So actually I'm trying to balance.
I think I have some traits that an introvert might have and also some that would describe an extroverted person. It rarely happens that a person is solely an introvert or an extrovert, but I’d say I’m more of an introvert. I like to spend time on my own and social interactions can be a bit draining, so I have to recharge my batteries by just being on my own. Although I like to be with my friends and people that I like, because it makes me happy.
In my opinion the tags 'introvert' and 'extrovert' are given to us by others. We all think and feel according to situation and people around us.. Extroverts just express it better!
I’m kind of both, but in a way neither. Along with introvert and extrovert, you also have the extroverted introvert and the introverted extrovert. I myself am definitely an introverted extrovert. The person who will do group work in the right scenario and is willing to go out but not often. Has fun going out and working in a group, but also thrives off their alone time and personal space.
Kgajewska said…
I am an extreme introvert. I do agree with your opinion - nowadays it's so hard to be an introvert, it's like modern world is created for extroverts. One of the most annoying thing for me is when somebody says that "Introverts should speak more and spend more time with people". Like why we have to change in order to fit in more? Why nobody will say to an extrovert to finally shut up and stop wasting time with useless and meaningful small talks? And it's not like introverts hate spending time with people. I think most of us are not anti-social, we are just anti-idiots. I genuinely love spending time with people who inspires and supports me, but of course I will have to rest after a little bit. I like spending time alone and focus on achieving my goals, but I'm trying to balance my time with some social activities around friends or family.
s15487 said…
I am rather kind of introvert, especially when I have contact with people which I don't know well or when I have to go out of my comfort zone. I don't have problem with talking about things in which I am interested in or which I have knowledge about, but I am not able to talk about everything and nothing with everyone (if you know what I mean). I just don't know how to keep conversation in that kind of situations. Finally, I rather like to spend time alone in quiet, as it's way much easier to focus.
Anton Chechel said…
I want to say that I position myself as an introvert. But after reading your article, in the paragraphs that describe the introvert, I do not tick every box: I really like to spend time alone, but I cannot say that I am talking little. Yes I'm a good listener, anyway I think so, but I talk a lot - I'm always running my mouth. So it's hard to define myself as one of the parties - I like to combine. But I definitely like introverts.
s18716 said…
To be honest, I still can’t decide between these two categories. I mean referring to one of them. If in the modern sense of these terms there is anything between the introvert and the extrovert, I will probably classify myself in this category. Even after watching the video, I thought for a bit and thought that I was an extrovert. Next, I read your opinion about social networks in which I am not. And once again I settled on the fact that I had something in between. These are actually my thoughts. But the people around me find it difficult to say to whom I relate more. In principle, I discard everything that people think and focus on my feelings.
In general, I want to say that it would be nice to add another category to this theory that I wrote about above.
Personally, I do not pay attention to who my interlocutor is. I can feel comfortable with both.
Vitalii Ohol said…
I can say with 100% of confidence that I'm introvert and was introvert whole my life. I love to be at home, listen to music, watch videos, do my hobby (which, actually, the majority of people and all my friends wouldn't even understand). I never wanted to meet with friends, and I never felt a need for social interactions. For me it's always tiresome to be with friends, telling some stories, being in the center of attention. And it's not only in the real world but in virtual too. I'm just don't like socializing. But I'm confident enough; I'm not afraid to speak with unknown persons; I don't repeat billions of times what I need to say to someone; I don't afraid and shy when I'm in a big or unknown company; I can behave like a normal extrovert but after that I will be exhausted.
Mykyta Smirnov said…
As for me I can assign myself to both categories. Sometimes I demand contact but mostly I don't. For me spending a bit time alone gives me extra rest points, allows me to restructure and refresh my thoughts. Too much communication makes me exhausted. But also sometimes I just need talking to someone. I think it's a very rare person that is exactly extrovert or introvert, most of us are mixed. Also depends on mood and people you're communicating, some introverts are extroverts when they are talking with their best friends.
I consider myself more of an extrovert person. Although I don't really like this binary classification of extrovert and introvert people. I think that everyone is an introvert to some extent. For me it depends on my mood, recent activities and maybe even time of the year, for example during winter I tend to be more introvert rather that extrovert. I think most of my friends are more introvert, which I appreciate. As mentioned in the article, they are thoughtful, very loyal and yet assertive.
Thx for your opinion! I understand you as I also like to spend time alone mostly because there is no much place and time to be alone.
Good to hear that ! This is very good solution for introverts to get energy by creating environment.
I agree with you as most people are on the middle and what they want to do depends on the humor.

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