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Week 10 [17.12-23.12.18] How to Have a Good Conversation

Too often, a conversation results in wasted time — and nothing productive to show for it. Whether you’ve run into someone at a university, you have a scheduled call or simply a meeting with somebody, you can use specific tactics to have a more meaningful conversation. In my opinion good conversation is all about listening and paing attention. When I'm meeting with somebody I put down my smart phone, I don't like distraction - I want the person that's with me to feel that I'm present at the moment. Here are some tips to have a better conversation in general.


Question:
1) Do you consider yourself as a good listener?
2) How often you get distracted during conversation?
3) Do you prefer face to face conversation or texting? 

Comments

I assume that 95% of participants of this course can communicate and understand a computer a hundred times better than a human. Video is actually gold -- I will certainly learn those techniques. It is super obvious that this woman is a professional in her job. Just see, how she keeps the audience's attention. I bet, nobody even thought of reaching his or her phone during this TED talk. I wish I was communicating with people that masterful.
Lukasz Mroczek said…
I think that I’m a good listener but I can’t say that I’m sure. I always try to listen everyone that has something to say. Of course I’m telling about people that are important to me because I don’t have time to listen bullshits or gossips.
Generally it depends on my day. If I’m in good mood and I don’t have too many things in my mind, I don’t get easily distracted, otherwise I can get distracted after each sentence.
If talking about simple, casual things, I don’t have problem with texting but If talking about more important things and emotions, I hate texting and I prefer face to face conversation.
I think I can be a good listener but sometimes I want to add something and I'm trying to break speaker for a short time and I think that sometimes this is a minus. Usually if I interested in conversation I listening very careful but if not I get distracted often (mostly all time). Usually I'm prefer face to face conversation if no such possibility I'm trying to call but if I can't contact even in this way as last chance I'm texting.
Filip Sawicki said…
I consider myself a pretty decent listener, however I think that someone else should review my skills as my own opinion might differ from reality. I usually get distracted when the other person in a conversation stops actively listening or doesn’t want to understand my point of view and just sticks to his own opinion. I prefer face to face conversation, but I also see benefits of texting. Sometimes it’s better to share information through text as you have more time to think.
I would say that i am good listener, but it usually does not identify one as a good communicator. I do not get distracted during conersations if i am directly partaking in one. I usually prefer face to face conversations, but it depends on a situation, and as a pround introvert i tend to get tired from direct human contact.
1) Do you consider yourself as a good listener?
Not really - I have to work on this. Too often I'm focused on one thought, and I stick to it intead of "going with the flow".

2) How often you get distracted during conversation?
It depends - if it's a face to face conversation, I'm rather focused all the time. In case of group conversation or a bigger meeting, usually I lost my focus after some time, especially if I'm not interested in the topic.

3) Do you prefer face to face conversation or texting?
If I want to simply ask for something and I expect a short answer I prefer texting, but for sure I would choose face to face conversation with my friends or family
Cezary Róg said…
I consider myself a quite good listener but it happens to me that I lose topic beacuse of something. I think these days, being a good listener is not an easy thing because there are many things around disturbing us like i.e. phone notifications etc. I don't like people disturbing me when I'm telling some stories, but I don't mind people adding some stuff during a conversation. I definitely prefer a face to face conversation because I know that person that I'm talking with is more concentrated on a topic.
For sure, i'm a good listener. I hate people who can't listen and people, who always interrupt, it is not a good sign. It depends on a person, information, what kind of conversation is it going to be. I often try to be polite and to not interrupt my interlocutor.I prefer face to face communication. Why? I think that only way you can affect on a person is face to face communication. Also, you can't see emotions, gestures when you are texting to someone (they can help to learn more about particular person).
s18716 said…
1) Do you consider yourself as a good listener?
Yes, I think I'm a good listener. I always try to pay enough attention to the speaker.
2) How often you get distracted during conversation?
Only if it is necessary. For example, answer the phone call, etc.
3) Do you prefer face to face conversation or texting?
I prefer to talk face to face. Thus, one can understand much more with gestures and facial expressions.

Very good video. The speaker very skillfully owns the audience and well keeps the attention of people sitting in the hall. I want to follow her methods and advice. Thanks.
I think i am a good listener because is hard to distract me. I focus on speaker a lot, and i don't like people that don't do that when i am talking. For me is waste of time when your listeners are not listening to you. I hardly prefer to talk face to face. I am very talkative person, but i understand advantages of texting by email or on facebook. It's very good when you just want fast information, not whole conversation.
Unknown said…
Thanks for your comment. I hope you were able to learn something from this video. I cross my fingers for you bro!
Unknown said…
I agree with you, if the person that you talking to has nothing important or interesting to say I wouldn’t pay attention either. It’s a good thing, that you prefer face to face conversation rather than texting, nowadays this behavior isn’t that obvious - good for you bro!
Unknown said…
Yeah, I got that sometimes too - when I already know the answer and wants to immediately respond - I don’t like that behavior in myself and currently I’m trying to get rid of it. It will help me become a better lister and partner in conversation in general. In my opinion if you can’t talk face to face, video conversations are a good replacements ;)
Unknown said…
In my opinion you’re a good listener Filip. But it’s good that you want to hear feedback from another person - that’s very professional. About texting- your point of view might be true, we have more time to think indeed ;)
Unknown said…
Introverts are usually a good listeners - they’re always patient - that’s a good habit after all. Yeah, face to face conversation could be exhausting - especially for introvert, but it’s a good thing that you’re working on it. Anyway, thanks for comment bro!
Unknown said…
Good comment, I think you understood this topic very well. I agree with all what you’ve wrote. It’s a good thing, that you want to work on yourself - keep it running!
Unknown said…
Yes, I do consider myself as a good listener. I mostly try not to interrupt and listen carefully. On the other side I am too honest and if topic is really boring or doesn’t match my field of interest I will simply tell about it. I don’t consider this characteristic as a bad one because it saves a lot of time for both.
I was really impressed how this woman managed to keep all those people’s attention.

I don’t distract often unless it’s something really important. Actually it all depends on the topic, importance and person’s attitude. As I’ve mentioned I try not to interrupt but sometimes I’m just too lost and have to do all at once. In such situations I may be very annoying and unpleasant.

I would say that I rather prefer face to face conversation because I am bad at it. Text conversation are mostly simple(except formal ones). You won’t express your emotions/feelings/excitement in the chat as well as you won’t understand other person’s feeling. Face to face conversations are harder because you have to take in consideration all these factors.
Bartosz Barnat said…
1) Do you consider yourself as a good listener?

I think I'm a good listener but only when someone is talking to me truthfully and about something important, I don't like talking about nothing but of couse there is a time when you just have to do a casual talk about weather ;).

2) How often you get distracted during conversation?

I'm getting distracted during conversation when it takes place when I'm doing something else, multitasking but sometimes it's hard to keep up with words that people are saying.

3) Do you prefer face to face conversation or texting?

When it comes to casual talk like check what is happening I prefer texting but when there is an important converastion I highly prefer face to face conversation because you can conclude much more from that.
Unknown said…
1) Do you consider yourself as a good listener?
Active one. For sure. A good... It depends what other person looks for. Some just want to talk all the time, other actually want someone to share their insight with them not only listen.

2) How often you get distracted during conversation?

If the conversation is boring, or I am not interested in it. Oh look, a bird!

3) Do you prefer face to face conversation or texting?
Face to face. Always. There is so much information being passed by body language and voice. Texting is for me a faster substitute to face to face when I simply cannot meet with someone.
Unknown said…
Yeah, that’s true - we are so distracted nowadays, all the social media makes us so disoriented. We can’t even focus properly one one think without checking our Instagram or Facebook. That’s why I value so much all the people that put down their smartphones and actually pay attention to what I’m saying. It’s just a good habit, good manners I would say. Anyway, thanks for your comment bro, stay sharp!
Unknown said…
That’s true! This kind of a person which interiors in the middle of your sentence are the worst in my opinion. You can clearly see that they’re not paying attention to what you are saying. In my opinion that kind of conversation is pointless, unless it’s a lecture :D But lecture isn’t really a conversation after all. I appreciate that you’re a good listener, I hope that this article helps you even more with social skills. Thanks for comment!
Unknown said…
Thanks for commenting! I like that you kept your answers sharp without useless words - that’s a skill bro! I agree with the phone calls, any other popular distraction is just annoying from my point of view. I’m glad that you liked video, hope you learned something useful. Keep working on your social skills!
Marcin Zając said…
1) Do you consider yourself as a good listener?
Yeah, I think I'm a good listener, but of course it's very subjective opinion.

2) How often you get distracted during conversation?
Not very often. It depends on my mood, topic and how many person are in such conversation.

3) Do you prefer face to face conversation or texting?
I definitely prefer face to face conversation, becouse of among others nonverbal communication. One exception is some business situations is better to have also a written form for example an email.
Unknown said…
I think so. I like listening to other people and I think I'm good at it.

I'm not distracted during conversations.

It depends, sometimes I like to talk face to face, but sometimes I prefer to chat with people online, sms
Unknown said…

I think I'm a good listener. My type of character makes me a better listener that speaker. I try to focus all my attention on another person while we are talking. I love one-to-one meetings when I can speak honestly and listen to people stories without any disruptions.

I prefere to meet with people rather than to exchange messages with them. I like to see how they react to what I have to say, see their body movement. With this, I can tell if there are honest and it makes it easier for me to make a deeper connection with them.
Well, generally, almost. I will speak from myself personally. That is it is quite subjective. For me the good listener - the experienced listener. And just its attention to my talk - is already healthy. He has to know perfectly various interpretations of works (what, actually, his understanding will be created from). It is important that he was fair and loyal. It is necessary to have patience to be good a listener. I cannot do it. Text messages are very convenient.
I guess I'm a good listener. I'm feeling that I have a high level of empathy therefor it's easy for me to be totally involved into a conversation.
I'm always trying to pay attention as much as I can, moreover if it is a close person. However, some times the topic which a person is discussing can be not that interesting. I'm still trying to listen to it carefully, although I have nothing to say and mostly I'm quite. It's quite annoying when the person doesn't understand that.
It depends on what to discuss. If it is a some kind of small talks like about the weather outside, most probably it is better to live it just online. However if I haven't seen a friend for a couple of years and there is a chance to meet him, for sure I'll be happy to have a real life conversation.
Anna Moskalenko said…
Yes, Iconsider myself as a good listener. Actually, I AM a great listener. I’m so good at this that often people are telling me their secrets and everybody loves to talk with me about their relationships or complicated situations in life.
I am never distracting person which saying something to me, however other people seems to love to do it. I think that a bit unmannered habit.
About face to face conversation vs texting - well, I like both but with different people. Usually with closest ones I love to talk face to face and with others texting. But sometimes there are persons that I just cannot text with, it seems artificial and sometimes it even looks like it’s completely different person.
1) Do you consider yourself as a good listener?
I always try to listen to others until the end. Sometimes I lose the conversation thread :)
How often do you get distracted during conversation?
Rarely but usually when the conversation is boring and not interesting :)
Do you prefer face to face conversation or texting?
Always prefers talking face to face then you see the emotions of another person. Typically, business talks take place in this way.
Unknown said…
If I am a good listener or not that depends on whether I try to control myself or not. Usually I'm so into the conversation that I ask a lot of questions right away so that might be percepted as a bad or a good depending on a person.
Almost always there are come up some topics that are interesting to talk next and it feels natural.
Face to face conversations is the only way to have a proper conversation. It's important to see person eyes and all there movement and be actually present in the moment.
I'm not sure I agree with number 6. Don't try to one-up the person you're talking to by promoting your own experience but share your own experience to relate to the person you're talking to and share the emotions that went along with your respective experiences.
Ahmed Elsawi said…
- In fact, I can't judge myself, but somehow I am a good listener, specifically, when speaking without my native language I try to be always a good listener.

- When I don't know the general idea of the conversation, but it often distracts me if something external happens during the conversation, such as someone entering the room.

- I always prefer to talk face to face, Because I can communicate clearly with body language also, So that is allow me to arrive the main idea of conversation clearly.
Unknown said…
It’s depends of how I feel on this day, because sometime if I don’t have a lot of thing in my mind like to much deadlines in my mind and how do everything just in one week I’m very good listener.

Ehh 😉 unfortunately sometimes I can be distracted during conversation but it if this is normal in my nature.

It depend of person. If this person is very close in my life like best friends I prefer face to face conversation. If its just small talk or work related conversation I prefer texting.
Unknown said…
Recently, I've noticed that I love to get into people sentences. Which is terribly onerous for the speaker and I try to unlearn it - a terrible habit. I also consider myself a good listener because I will listen to a person in need and I will say some good advice.
During some of the conversations, I am often distracted. I often nod and take my head with my own thoughts. Then I often do not remember what the person was talking about.
By far, my favorite form of communication is face-to-face communication. Then I am more open and talkative and it is easier for me to present what I want to convey to a given person.

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