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Week 9 [11.12 - 17.12.2017] Is it better to have a only child?

Nowadays, people are living faster and faster. They do not have time to rest because they feel the need of constant work. We can say that due to earned money,  we can live better. Is it true, though? It often happens that people do not want to have children because it seems to be very time-consuming. And of course, it is always an additional obligation.



Questions:
  • What do you think about your speed of life?
  • Do you have extra time for yourself after school/work?
  • Do you want to have children? If yes, do you think that being an only child is better than having siblings?

Comments

Anonymous said…
In my opinion nowadays everyone have a really fast lifestyle. We plan meetings, work, school and actually don't have any spare time.
I'm trying to organize my day in such way so I could spend sometime chilling and relaxing. I'm working remotely so that I could relax during my work provided get my work done.
Well, I haven't been thinking about having children yet and that means I don't want any now. Maybe when I'll be older I could change my mind. I'm the only child and I think it's the worst. I wish I could have a brother or sister to talk to them and spend some time together.
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
To be honest, I don't understand the connection between fast life and children. But I agree with the speaker, not everyone wants to have a child, but people think everyone should. It's a standard. "You'll get married, you'll have a child". As for me, I won't have children or even one child. I'm not a person who can do this. Being parent is a very difficult job, you have to be wise, generous, you have to have a lot of money. And you have to know how to raise a child. It's very difficult. You should be prepared for situations when a child doesn't do what you want. And you can't scream at him or beat him, you can't explain it to him because it's a child, he doesn't understand it yet. And also I don't see any reason to have a child. It's just not for me. And even if I change my mind someday, I won't give birth to anyone, it hurts. Just imagine how it's unpleasant to be for almost a year thick and clumsy. It's better to adopt a child.
Sometimes I think that my life is moving with speed of the light. On other hands when I compare it to random life from Tokyo, my life seems to be very normal. So I guess it's hard to say - it depends with whom we compare our life's.
Yeah, I have an extra time after work and after school. I've noticed that more I have to do, more organized I'm. It results in despite having a ton of duties, somehow I still can find time to do sports or read books. Now I just do not waste time surfing web or going thought tv channels.
It's hard to say if I want to have child's. I think that I'm too young to decide about it.
Unknown said…
Generally I’d like to say that I have normal speed of life and everything is under control but honestly my life is so fast that I’m almost loosing control but, anyway I’m aware of it.
Because I’ve decided to go to work even that I’m studying I almost don’t have extra time for myself but sometimes If I do need some I can manage to have it without problem.
Generally because of the way I was brought up and because of Catholic religion it seems obvious to me that I’ll have children. Moreover I’d like to have at lest two children because I have sister and I think that it is better to have siblings than being only child.
Unknown said…
Nowadays, we live very fast but I can not imagine not having children. Life would be boring then. Actually, first I put on learning and career and it requires a lot of time, but if you settle down, you will always have time for offspring. Of course, after work / school I have some free time, probably like everyone else...
Unknown said…
Living in a big city means that your live pases very fast. To my way of thinking, when you're busy having a lot of appointments it's really not enough time just to live as a normal person, that's why sometimes I love being in the country,where I feel another rhythm of life. Unfortunately, I don't have too much time for recreation with my friends. Yes, I want to have childen and, to my mind, it's better to have siblings that to be an only child, because, first of all, it's better for a child, who will have support from a brother or a sister in their future life and moreover it teaches to live in a team to children, not to be selfish etc
Yevhen Shymko said…
Completely satisfied with my speed of life and may be even think it could be faster. I have full time work and full time student but still think have quite a lot of free time. I am a single child in family and can't imagine how my life would look like if I had a brother or sister.
Vladlen Kyselov said…

I am happy with my life because all the goals that I set for myself are achieved without much effort and although in life there are troubles that hinder me very much, nevertheless I try to cope with everything. I want children, but a little later because now I have too tight schedule and I do not have time to bring up and raise the child.
Unknown said…
Earth is being overpopulated, so nothing will happen if we have only one child or none. I am lazy person so i do things slow, taking my time. My golden rule:"Don't rush things, maybe there will be someone who needs it more and will do it for me"
Unknown said…
I live very fast and I am familiar with mentioned need of constant work, because I feel it each and every day. It concerns me sometimes, specially when I can't find any spare time for someone, but it is how it is. I'd rather work now and rest after 40s or 50s than work till the last day of my life. I do have extra time after school and work, but I try to spend it productively. Obviously it doesn't always work and I find my self lying down brainlessly for couple hours, but everyone needs some time just to rest, right? Finally, I have 3 sisters and one of them is so young that we call her the only child, because the rest of us is not living with parents anymore. I want to have kids and thanks to my experience I am pretty sure it is not going to be the only one.
Unknown said…
During my childhood my life was slow and calm. For the last 6-7 years it has speeded a lot that it's hard for me to organise some free time for my hobbies etc. I'm still working on my time management skills and soon I will get more time for myself.
I'm not thinking about my children yet.
I have a brother and I think that growing up with brother or sister is much easier and more beautiful than growing up without any sibling.
I rarely have an extra time for myself after work/school and that fact makes me sad.
I don't know if I want to have children. Maybe, maybe not- who knows?
I have a sister and I can't imagine growing up without her.
I can't imagine, how you can not think about not making a child. It is a kind of footprint you made after your life, even speaking about our life's speed, it is fast enough, but it depends on your lifestyle and you can combine time for children and time for your work or another important things you make.
Yeah,i certainly have extra time for myself,cuz i don't have a routine which makes my day easier to plan.
I want children, the question is how many i would have. Being an only child in your family is a amazing thing, but having sister or brother is better. Lifelong support is guaranteed.
Unknown said…
I thinik my speed of life is fast. I always have something to do which absorbs much time of my day. I have extra time after school, but I use it to learn. Not just read books, I'm improving my skills in some games. I think when somebody is only child, he wants to have siblings, and when somebody has siblings he thinks the opposite.
Foodocado said…
I live quite fast. Since I've decided to start working and attend university on daily basis I don't have time for myself. I am aware that this style of living is not healthy, but I like living like that. There is no time for boring. The only extra time I've got is when I come back after work. Usually I spend it on watching tv series or surfing the internet. Yes, I would love to have children, at least 2. Personally I've got older brother and I believe it's better to have siblings.
I absolutely agree with her. It's frightening what power the fear of what will other people think about us has over our lives. We think about ourselves as freethinking progressive people, and yet each time we have to make a decision we put so much weight to other people's reaction to our choice.

On one hand I understand the root of it. As we lived in small communities it was a matter of survival to not be marginalized. To not be deemed as unfitting or unneeded by the group. But that was hundreds of years ago.

Unfortunately the human need of sticking our noses where they don't belong, causes people to still think this way. You can still see old ladies monitoring from their windows, or recently marching in the defence of decency and Christian values.

In a nutshell this is what I hate about religion. Not the people who attend churches, but the ones praying on them. People waiting to use the image of morality and good conservative values to spread their own agendas among older, more easily persuaded people.

Thankfully the young people nowadays seem more open-minded, so let's just hope we stay this way as we eventually get older.


PS: From the title I expected an argument about pros and cons of having a single child over multiple children.
Unknown said…
I am in that age, when almost all of my friends had already made families, having kids. I still think that I am not ready for that. I love to change places, to learn new things, to meet new people. I love my perfectly clean flat and calm evenings. I just don't have time for family. Some years ago people didn't have so many options like we do today, but times are changing, values are changing.
I often hear:"When? When family? When babies?". Just got used to it, almost no reaction. I have a plan to live my life the way I want, because it's mine. Maybe one day I will be ready for children. Now I can't imagine it and I'm ok with that. I am the only child in my family.
Zygmunt Z said…
We are in this position where most of us lead a very fast life - going to university, then to work, during the weekend we also have many plans to deal with. All these factors definitely speed up our lifes but I don't think that make us more miserable, at least I am not. Leading this kind of life I am fully aware that I am very organised and I really know if I can do something more during period of 24 hours or not. And what is best about it, I can still find some spare time for myself and do whatever I want. When it comes to children I am fully convinced that I am not ready to have one right now. Maybe when I finish studying and I will have a good job then I may start thinking about it. I also think that being an only child might be difficult sometimes as you don't have anybody you can talk to at anytime. I have an older sister but age difference between me and her is eighteen and taking into account the fact that she lives in France I always felt like an only child
Marcin Mróz said…
Since October I've been working part-time and studying full-time, so I'd say that speed of my life has increased a bit. Due to this I don't have too much free time for myself, which sometimes is a little fatiguing, but I know that it will pay off in the future, so I don't really regret my decision to work and study at the same time.
I think that having siblings is much better than being an only child. I have a brother and I believe it's really nice to always have someone that you can share your interests with or spend time together, especially if for example your parents are working late and you're home alone.
Nowadays speed of life is at a high level. We've got so much to do - job, school, family, hobby, friends and not everyone can "afford" having even a single child which require 24 hours a day attention.
Yes i do have extra time for myself after schoold or work. I mean, it's not that much of time but im satisfied what i've got.
Probably i would want to have a children but for sure not at the moment. I'm too busy now to even think about it.
Marcin Górski said…
Thank you, I'm agree with you. I think that having children is our "mission" :)
Marcin Górski said…
Thank you. When you prepare plan of a whole day, you can save a lot of time for the rest.
Marcin Górski said…
Thank you. Connection between fast life and children? I explained it in the introduction of my article - "It often happens that people do not want to have children because it seems to be very time-consuming". It's not fake because I know some examples of that situation.
Marcin Górski said…
Thank you. I'm agree with you that siblings support is very important. If you have problem, you can talk with your brother/sister and solve it. I have one older sister and I remember a lot of situations when she helped me.
Marcin Górski said…
Thank you. I have sister too, I know that altercations are not something what I want but I can't imagine life without her.
Marcin Górski said…
Thank you. Your approach to life is not similar with mine but your "golden rule" can have a lot of advantages :P
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
1. As most of the people nowadays I am living a fast-paced life. It is inevitable if you want to set new goals and be satisfied with your achievements. I am aware that many people have much more intensive lives than I have and I didn’t achieve all the goals I set , but I always try to be as effective as possible.
2. Unfortunately, I don’t have much time for myself after work and school but it is not caused by the number of activities I am involved in. The reason behind that is rather fact that I still need to improve the way in which I plan and organize things in my life and thus undertake more tasks.
3. want to have children in general but I think I am still not ready for this as being a father is a very responsible role and requires stability in life which I don’t currently have. I have younger sister and generally think that having siblings is way better than being an only child. From the cases of people I know and who are the only children I have to admit that stereotypes about them, saying that they are selfish and very self-centered, are true.
Unknown said…
Well... I feel like I've just started my journey with PJATK and actually it's almost over. I think I've a really fast lifestyle. Yea, of course that I have some free time, it's called Netflix time, but it's the bigger time eater ever. That's why I'm trying to do some other stuff than that.
You know, for now children are an abstract topic to me, but of course someday I will create a family and I think that having siblings it's just better. I love my sister and even when we were fighting as young, now we are not only a siblings, but great friends.
Unknown said…
My life is really fast but i have time for doing various things but also for stop for a moment. And what with my extra time... this year for me is really nice and i have time to chill and spend time like i want. To contrary with last two years and i see now that it is relly important and it have influence for all our live.
I have experience that having siblings is the best what i can get from my live. I think about children in the future and i think that i will have more than one child.
Unknown said…
What do I think about your speed of life? Boy oh boy i feel old just thinking about it.
Do I have extra time for yourself after school/work? Sometimes...
Do you want to have children? Yes i do. A to the answer to the question i don't have an opinion, because i have no siblings and cannot really tell if that would be better.
In cities, people are living faster and faster. Tourists who come to big cities from small towns may have problems with adjusting to a dull life. The fact is that we live faster and faster. The additional time after school or work is small and it will certainly be longer. We work a lot more in Poland than our neighbors behind the western border. Therefore, we complain about the lack of free time.
Of course I want to have children, but certainly not an only one child.
Unknown said…
I think that I live fast. When you are studying+working you dont even think about time. Of course I have extra time after school/work, usually I meet my friends or watching tv series
I want to have a children but not at this moment, now it is too early. I would love to have siblings.
Magdalena Popek said…
I think my speed of life is quite fast, I caught myself being always in hurry even if I actually wasn't. I rarely have extra time just for myself after work and school. I have an impression my life sped up after moving to Warsaw. The city itself is really big and it takes lot's of time to move from one point to another. 30 minutes one way and 30 minutes back and you have 1 hour less for yourself.

I want to have children but I don't know if one or two. I am the only child while my boyfriend has two siblings. I don't know which is better. I liked not having any siblings, and he likes having two.
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
She's doing what's best for her and isn't hurting anyone. She's at least being responsible. So many orphans in the world...mental illness due to being raised by neglectful and/or narcissistic parents that use children as trophies and to serve their own needs. And the abortion rate! A woman's sole purpose isn't to reproduce. Such a prehistoric and demeaning mindset.
Unknown said…
We live a very fast life, which is impossible to avoid nowadays - it's either that, or failing to achieve our goals. I have some leisure time, but that's usually at night, during the day I'm at work or at school.
I don't feel like having children just now. Its actually pointless and dumb for me at this time- having very small personal capital, not being able to afford own house/car etc. Getting kids at this age usually equals to being parasite to parents and killing your youth by working full-time early and leaving behind your goals...
I liked being the only child, but I also heard that having siblings is good, so it depends on who you are asking about it.
Vyvyan said…
1. What do you think about your speed of life?
I don't feel like an adult. It's all I can say about it.
2. Do you have extra time for yourself after school/work?
It depends. But usually no.
3. Do you want to have children? If yes, do you think that being an only child is better than having siblings?
I have no siblings. But I always wanted because when you are the only child then all responsibilities are on you. You are all alone with duties at home and everyone in family are focused on you. I always want to have big family.
Wojtek Protasik said…
I think nowadays people live faster. I also do. We have a busy schedule, we come back from work late, we need to do stuff at home and we are tired at the end of the day. I do have extra time but it's not that much, also if i didn't I think i'd go crazy, and I could never be happy with what I'm doing. I have siblings and I know how fun it was when we were younger and I still think they are support and it's good to have them rather than being alone, because theres always somebody other than parents you can count on. I've never thought deeper about having children but I think I'd like to have some in a future. I can see the strength and lot of advantages of having a family so I'd like to create one.
Patryk Pohnke said…
It is the same as most of people nowadays. A lot of duties, work, school and additional activities.
Of course, a little bit of time in the evening on week-days and a little bit more during weekends.
Surely, I want to have children. I grew up with older brother and younger sister and I think it is great to have siblings. You just develop faster, learn how to communicate, share things and hold back jealousy. So most probably I'm going to have more than one child.
What do you think about your speed of life?
It is going way to fast for me after I passed 30.
Do you have extra time for yourself after school/work?
Trying as much as I can to have some.
Do you want to have children? If yes, do you think that being an only child is better than having siblings?
It is really hard to tell. I was not the only child and have few friends that are the only child. It is really hard to compare it.
Unknown said…
We live in a time, where we can do so much, that time is the only thing stopping us from doing it. I can not speak for myself right now, because I do both study and work at the same time, and also have an apartment to upkeep. This does not leave me with much free time. Lately I even struggle to find time for my friends, and the time flies by really quick. Hopefully when I'm done with the studies, it will all slow down a bit. This also answers the second question. I usually have about 3-4 hours daily of "free" time at home, which I have to divide between some work that has to be done at home, groceries, studies, spending time with my girlfriend and possibly some gaming. After that - rinse and repeat.

I do want to eventually have children, but before I do, I have to have time for myself and make a few dreams come true. Otherwise it feels like I only could become a grumpy old guy who everyone, including his children, would hate, so that has to wait.
Bartosz Łyżwa said…
It's very interesting and popular subject todays. I don't have a problem with my speed of life, I have many responsibilities and sometimes it's hard to bring together work, studies and many more. I'm realy thankful that I have everything I need in my life. But considering our subject... Personally I want to have children, I'm sure that I want to have more than one :)
Unknown said…
In my opinion everyone in big city like Warsaw have fast lifestyle. I am satisfied with my speed of life. I have life under control. Yes I have some time for myself every day. In my opinion no matter how much time you have. Important is how you use your free time. My girlfriend wants to have two children.
I think I want one. We'll see how it ends! :)
Sure, I think that the way we are living nowadays is not healthy at all, everything is too fast and complex. I also think it's a bad trend, one that may be become the last straw that broke the camel's neck. For me the worst part of it is that there is no reason for it at all other than to uphold the image of progress and civilisation. Believe in a constant growth is the biggest flaw to our society, one which will make a lot of people suffer in the nearest future, maybe in our times. That's one of the reasons I'll never bring another living beings to this world, I just don't want them to witness all the horrors of the world we are living in, and the way I see things will only go down from here. Of course I can see many advantages of having kids, like the feeling of being proud and not being alone while dying, but this are only selfish motives of hedonistic animals of the species Homo Sapiens. I wouldn't like my kids to live surrounded by disguised monsters, where greed and foul is hidden behind the illusion of civil behaviour and the scent of perfumes.
A perfect family is probably 2+2 or even more under some specific conditions. I was raised as the only child for a longer period of my childhood and I can clearly say that it's not really beneficial towards attitude of such child. They're often raised greedy, impolite and spoiled. I can relate to this myself, and I don't really want similar situation with my own :).
Unknown said…
Thinking about how many children should one have is like winning a lottery: you never know how and when you will have your children. You never know when and how you meet your partner in life, get married etc. That is why, despite the video is interesting and helps us think over our own life balance which changes drastically as the child is born, I think quality over quantity: the main focus is to plan and carefully think about child raising, not to generate more or less children.
Unknown said…
I think that in this moment in my life my speed of life is pretty fast. I am on full-time study and I work almost full time so it is a bit challenging for me but I do it from my own choice. I feel that only studing is not hard for my anymore so I decided to start working and gain commercial experience. I have some extra time for myself but not much because of projects on studies which I have to make after work. I want to have a childerns and I think that it is better to have more childs than one. I feel that bigger familly is happier and I am glad for my parents that I am not an only child. :)
Jakub Lisicki said…
I think that speed of our lives is really fast. It's unnatural for us in behave like that, we're not used to being used to the fact that we sometimes have to give up the sleep to have some more time to work. We can't really find the work-life balance that would let us live like a normal human beings. I don't know what went wrong in the process of human race development, but we indeed got some things wrong.
Usually I don't have much time for myself, but I try to have some spare time at least once a week, during the weekends. I already got used to the thought that I have to work from 7 am to 9 pm most of the week.
I don't want to have any children now, or in any near future. Maybe I would, in around 5-10 years, but first I would like to find more time for myself and my own life. As a person who has siblings I would say that being an only child could be even harder than not being one. I always have some people to talk to and I know that even if we don't get on so well with my siblings, they would help me in need.
I don’t think life have to be this fast I think me make it fast. I guess it’s all about simplifying your life. I work, go to school, do english homework and still have time for myself, spend time with my friends. Of corse kids are time consuming but I think it’s worth having them. I sure am glad my parents decided it’s not too much of a burden xD I definitely don’t think being a only child is better. Sibling are the best - I can’t imagine childhood without my brother :)
Speed of life is relative to our lifestyles - i could work in the post office for one year and it could feel like a ten year span, i could also go on a weekend trip and get year worth of memorable moments.
Not much but i do find some time to gather my will to push on during weekends.
Yes i do want to have children, i also think that either one should have 2 kids in year span or only one. Having second child more than a year from first will set a curve of learning that will make them less interested and connected to each other in the long run. While if they are born close together its easier for them to develop strong bonds due to their experiences.
Wojtek Kania said…
Well my life is really fast but I like it. When I have a free time and I rembemer my last year, I am very happy that I've done so much things. I think you can have really fast life and have free time. I have all weekends just for me, but I'm working very hard in Monday to Friday. I want to have a children. Not only one but a few. I think own family is very important to remembering what is the most important in life.
Unknown said…
The child is the next step in life. In today will never have the right time to become parents, everyone wants to have better work, house, more money but is it only important in life? I think that becoming a father is one of the most important moments in a man's life. A child will always be an additional duty but a big love.
My life is very fast but when i finish my studies I could be a father. Now I spend time actively or relaxing with friends or my woman. I have a younger brother and I love him very much but my siblings and my own child that's something different.
1. My life goes on faster and faster. As far as I remember from my childhood, there was enough time for everything: school, entertainment, rest, meetings with family or friends. Now I have to choose all the time, and always I judge my choices badly, I often feel I should had decided otherwise, I always think about the things I haven’t done. I sometimes think we life in a specific time loop, and it will change one day coming back to the way we used to live before…
2. Obviously I don’t have additional extra free time. I have to choose very carefully and to think about my life priorities all the time.
3. I’ve already 3 kids :-) My attitude to this issue used to be very consistent from years. I always wanted to have large family. I have three siblings, one brother and two sisters and in spite of many misunderstandings and our limits in communication, I consider family as most important value in our life, giving us a feeling of deeper sense and stability. When I had my first son born, I dreamed to have more kids and – although it wasn’t easy – I managed to get pregnant second time, with twins :-) And although now it is not so easy to deal with everything, I am very grateful to have kids in my life.

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