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Week 8 [02.12 – 08.12.2019] - Can we choose to fall out of love?


Every day, millions of people around the world suffer from love. One entry into a new chapter is very easy, others have a bigger problem with it. We can only wonder what the best way to get over heartbreak is. Rapper and writer Dessa came up with an unconventional way and she describes how she worked with a neuroscientist to try to get her brain to fall out of love with her ex.


 1.    What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?2.    Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head3.    Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?


Comments

Dawid Piotrak said…
In my opinion there is no such a thing as universal guide for everyone on how to deal with a heartbreak. Everyone will try to deal with it differently - in my opinion it's good to use the additional time for your hobby's or try to find some new interests that could develop you and allow you to meet and spend time with other people.
August Micota said…
1. What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?
I think the best way is focusing only on Yourself for a while.

2. Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head
I don't think so, it's a very important experience in everyone's lives so getting rid of it is counterproductive.

3. Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?
Yes it's in my answer to the first question :D
Damian Drozd said…
1. What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?
Understand and emphasise all weaknesses of person you've been with, ain't nobody perfect, then I think the easiest way to overcome heartbreak is just wait, it needs time.

2. Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head.
No. Love is the most important thing in life, if it didn't work out it wasn't meant to be so wait for another opportunity.

3. Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?
Yeah, I've already mentioned those in first question.
Angelika Dutt said…
Thank you for your opinion. I also think that everyone is dealing with breakup in their own way. I think devoting yourself to your hobby is a great idea for that time.
Angelika Dutt said…
I completely agree with you, I think every relationship is an experience and you shouldn't "physically" get rid of it.
Angelika Dutt said…
I agree with you, a thorough analysis of the previous relationship allows us to draw appropriate conclusions and allows us to create a new, better relationship with someone new.
And of course "love is all you need", so you have to hope for another chance.
Maciej Szczypek said…
1. What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?
There is no one remedy for this. Everyone is different and I think we can not generalize in this particular field. I know various of methods which helped very different people, but from my experience it would be simply a company of friends, people close to you.

2. Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head
As I mentioned above - it really depends on the broken-hearthed person.

3. Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?
It is crucial not to stay alone and meet/hangout with people. And the most important thing - do not get in touch with ex-partner.
Yubin said…
1. What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?
In my opinion, generally there are two ways, first is to focus on our hobbies or try to find some new interests to divert our attentions. Second is to get over more and more heartbreaks until we don't need to care about heartbreak anymore.

2. Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head
I will use the lyric from one of my most favourite songs L-O-V-E , "Love is more than just a game for two", I think love is mentally important for every people, so I think we had better not to get it out of our head.

3. Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?
It is better to think about how not to make a breakup, then we don't need to get over anything, to think more further, choose our partners more carefully before we might have breakup, don't just seek for a short pleasure.
Kristina Moroz said…
I can't say something specific on this. But maybe if you try calm down and find something in yourself for which you could love yourself. The meaning of our lives not in someone who standing with you. It's in you first of all, your abilities and kindness to yourself.
No, I think it's not good idea to get rid of love in physically way. But who knows...I've never tried.
No, it's hard and it's painful. But sometimes we just to stop. And live.
Kuba Berliński said…


1. To me it is to find something that would keep you mind busy and not think about it.

2. I wouldn't say so. There are thing in our lives we have to deal with in traditional way.

3. There is no way to get over such things. Time seems to be the only cure.
Kyrylo said…
1. What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?
As a person, incapable of experiencing such thing, I have no idea. Initially I thought I was in a disadvantage compared to other people, but the more I drive further, the more I see that experiencing feelings, love in particular, actually causes more problems than gains You.
2. Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head?
I do not know what love feels like myself, but from what I heard, which inconveniences it causes, of course it would be good idea.
3. Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?
Not getting into breakup, apparently. By never starting serious relationships at all.
Olga Przytula said…
1. I don’t think there is one specific way to get over a heartbreak. It all depends on the circumstances of the breakup, the way we feel about the situation and how we deal with problematic and hurtful moments in our lives. In my opinion dealing with this kind of emotion requires an individual approach, lots of love and support from friends and relatives and reworking the subject in our heads and hearts.

2. Whatever floats your boat is good, as long as it helps you and does no harm to the others. It’s actually a very interesting concept that, I must admit, encourages me to do some kind of research and reading about this topic myself. On the other hand, the brain activity is bunch of neurons and chemical reactions, so who knows, maybe getting over a breakup works exactly like that, but we are simply not aware of this fact?

3. No, I don’t have any way to get over it. It’s just an emotion that I rework in my head, think about the pros and cons of this decision, spend time with my friends and family and just enjoy life without this person in my life. I strongly believe that only people worth our time stay in our lives, and the ones that were supposed to teach us something, as soon as they do their job, just disappear from our lives. These are not the people that we should grieve over, and maybe thanks to that kind of thinking it’s quite easy for me to get over all kinds of breakups.
Anna Koca said…
1. What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?
Many people think that the best way on the broken heart is to find another love. I disagree. I think we need to work out all of our emotions, feel the pain, analyze our relationship through. That way we can learn about yourself, notice our mistakes or understand what went wrong and learn from that mistakes. This is really important in case of starting new relationship to do it without emotional baggage from past relationships.
2. Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head
As long as it works for somebody and doesn't make harm to others it is a good idea. But if it was so easy, what would love mean and what would teach us draw conclusions for the future?
3. Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?
My getting over break up is pretty bookish. First days I can't stop cry, can't eat, can't sleep and I'm a total mess. After few weeks, when I feel little bit better, I start to look for events, concerts, I sign up for classes of something totally new for me, for example ceramics last time and try to spend as much time with my friends and family as I can. The pain doesn't go away, it's just being forgotten.
Anna Moskalenko said…
I think for every person a different method would work. I’d start to work and study pretty hard and hang out with me friends more just to... I guess not to leave too much time for thinking about the guy? Everything will eventually be alright, sometimes we just have to take time and let our feelings fade.
I’m pretty sure that those manipulations with her brain never helped her actually :) It’s the basic psychotherapy, placebo if you wish. Pretty same result she’d get if she write everything she feels about the guy on the piece of paper and then burnt it, people just like symbols. If you want to quit smoking, if you REALLY want to, you can start reading the book by Allen Carr and you will quit, but not because of the book, but because you wanted to. The book in this story will be also only the symbol.
Well, yeah, as I wrote in the answer to the first question, I’ll just make myself as busy as possible to not have the time for crying and all that misery :)
1. What's in your opinion the best way to get over heartbreak?
It depends on the circumstances surrounding the heartbreak. But I’d say that staying occupied and having things to do is a great distraction, also spending time with your friends can be a good way not to be excessively sad. Like everything, it takes time to get over a heartbreak, heal and keep living on. It’s very hard to do that, since scientists have proven that the same parts of your brain are active during a heartbreak as well as when feeling physical pain.That’s also why it’s so painful.

2. Do you think it's a good idea to "physically" get love out of your head.
I don’t think it’s a good way. Everyone in their life will at some point experience a heartbreak and it’s a new learning experience, so we know how to get through it. and if it happens next time, we will know how to manage that situation.

3. Do you have any of your own ways of getting over each other after the breakup?
It really depends on the person and how involved they were. Our coping techniques also change throughout our lifetime, so one method will work for some time, but it doesn’t mean it will work forever. That’s why it’s important to talk to people you like and share your experiences with one another to see if they have some strategies you can adapt.
Piotr Bednarek said…
1. If you want to get over breakup quickly we should talk about its with someone you trust and can rely on. Moreover, it's good to socialize with other people or even sign up for a few dating apps. In my opinion that advises are the best way to heal broken heart.

2. In my opinion this idea is ridiculous, becuase love is a natural feeling and everyone should have chance to experience it.

3. Yes, I share my advices in the first questions. :)
There isn't a universal recipe for getting over a breakup. differrent thing work for different people. I do not agree with the idea of "getting love out of you head''. There is something to learn from every experience, even the bad ones. From my experience in getting over each other is time, and a certeain level of emotional maturity to understand why.
Roman Batyuk said…
1. To my mind, the best way to get over the heartbreak is to be busy and don't think about it. Also, you need to talk with somebody, not to keep everything inside. But you don't need to drink alcohol or do something worse. It definitely doesn't worth it.

2. It is an experience, maybe bad or hurting but it teaches you a lot. In my opinion, without experience, it is almost impossible to build a good and long-term relationship.

3. Delete or throw away any of the things that can remind you about the heartbreak for some period of time to get your head cool and make your thoughts clear. After that, it is so much easier to live further.


A broken heart is a terrible emptiness. The best way is to fill the void of a loved one with work or hobby. Games are great in this situation, because you can indulge in the game without thinking about what it was. And time will fix the rest :D

In my opinion, you can't get out of love physically. Love is a feeling that is built up over the years and it is difficult to get rid of it or kill it in a second. The pain must pass by itself. In addition, replacing the void with another love is a terrible idea, because we will require this new person to be like the previous one. Love is meant to be a sincere feeling that unites people, not a replacement ...
Angelika Dutt said…
I agree with you, first of all, you have to love yourself. No matter how great a person you find, if you don't live in harmony with yourself, it won't work.
You know, they say that if you never try, you will never know!
Angelika Dutt said…
It's an interesting theory, although I personally think that if we care about it, we always feel bad after breaking up and we can't get used to it. I certainly wouldn't want to check it out.
I think that love is the most beautiful thing that can happen to us, but unfortunately it rarely lasts forever.
I think it's easy to say that we should choose our partners more carefully. Love blinds and there aren't many disadvantages at first sight.
Angelika Dutt said…
I completely disagree with you. Even though I have suffered many times in my life after the breakup, I would never undo it. The feeling of love is beautiful and special. I hope you will fall in love someday.
Angelika Dutt said…
You are absolutely right, the first thing you have to do after parting is to learn to live alone anew and draw the appropriate conclusions. Entering a new relationship quickly ends in another disappointment.
I personally try not to give myself time for crying, and the sooner you enter stage two the better.
Unfortunately, I agree with you, the pain remains forever and we only learn to live with it.
Angelika Dutt said…
Oh, that's exactly my way of dealing with breakups. The less time I think about what happened, the better, until I finally get to the point where I feel better.
I agree with you that it depends a lot on symbols, but I was wondering if if such therapy would work, would I give it a try...
Denys Pogurskyi said…
1. The best option is simply not to start dating, and in fact there will be no problems.)
2. Well, I don’t think this is a good idea.
3. After parting, I just scored on her and that's it. As people say, time heals. So over time, as it’s all gone)
Angelika Dutt said…
I think the distractors are the best way to start dealing with it. But as with everything, it takes time to deal with it, and the sooner we understand that it was a lesson that will give us a better relationship, the better.
I agree with you that there is no clear method for parting and each of us goes through it differently.

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