Have
you ever thought how many times do you lie each day? Or maybe you are one of
those humans that no matter what, you’d rather tell the worst possible truth
that is hard to digest than lie or white lie? Here’s Pamela Meyer, author of
Liespotting on the topic of “How to spot a liar?”
1.
Has anyone lied to you? Was it because of
avoiding hurting you or protecting you anyhow or maybe they were just natural liars?
2.
What is your view on lying?
3.
Do you lie or white lie from time to time or
you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
4.
Why do we lie?
Comments
Sure - is there anyone that didn't experience it ?
2. What is your view on lying? Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
I believe sometimes it's necessary to tell a 'white lie' - unless the other person really wants to know our true opinion but beside that I'd rather just be honest as I don't really do anything that I'd be ashamed to admit or tell later on.
4. Why do we lie?
People lie for different reason. They are trying to get something out of it for themselves or avoid punishment or consequences for their action or simply to avoid someone else getting unnecessarily hurt.
Unfortunately, it happened very often. It is very easy to trust someone and be cheated. It happened to me several times. When I was little I had two parrots at home. Then my mother available to me that one of them died and buried her in the garden. The truth was different. The sister did not close the cage during feeding and the parrot fled.
felt very cheated and disappointed then.
2. What is your view on lying? Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
For me a lie is such a betrayal. I don't understand how to say that someone is lying to him for his own good. Children are often cheated. I don't know if it's good. Although what to tell a child when he asks us where the children come from? We usually tell a story about a stork or cabbage. The truth is a little different, but we don't know how to present it.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
I always tell the truth. The lie will come to light sooner or later. Then I may be too late to save friendship or love. I lie only when I'm preparing a Christmas gift for someone and I don't want to tell the other person what it will be.
4. In my opinion, we're lying because we can't explain no or out of fear. Let's say that our friend Magda calls us and says that it will be evening. We don't like her particularly. Then instead of thinking the truth that we do not like to spend too much time with her, we say that in the evening he comes to the uncle from America. We do it so as not to lose a friendship, for example
People lie all the time, it's really hard to detect their intentions so i'm not sure if i can answer that question properly. But i've never been lied to about any "big" problem or anything like that. Gladly.
2. What is your view on lying?
I don't care about it, if people want to lie than go for it, it's going to eventually be their problem in the future.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
Normally i don't ever lie, I don't have a reason, maybe sometimes when it comes to the sentence like "i'm going to be at Your place in 10 minutes" when it's actually going to be 30 but it never hurts nobody as i'm spreading the time :D
4. Why do we lie?
I think that's because we're scared of responsibility.
2. I think that white lies are acceptable by the whole society, but ordinary lies are rarely good. Liars never have positive opinion and everything they say has to be verified. There are however exceptions, like some jobs which require to communicate with criminals. Another interesting example is bluffing which is controversial.
3. I rather not lie, because first of all I am not that kind of person, and secondly I am too afraid of being caught red-handed. I make white lies in certain situations like for example during the dinner when someone asks me if I enjoy the food. Usually saying no is not an option 😊
4. We lie to benefit from those lies. There are many reasons like fear, jealousy, greed and other sorts of sins.
I think I've been fooled in my life a lot of times. Much of it was due to the fact that someone didn't want to make me sorry, but unfortunately there were also people who lied about important issues. I think the second group simply needs to lie and make their lives more colorful.
2. What is your view on lying?
I think you can lie if you protect another person and your lie doesn't do the damage. But I do believe in the principle of "truth to pain, even" so it happens very rarely to me.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
I think sometimes it's better to lie to a woman and tell her that she looks pretty even if she doesn't. In other cases, I try to tell only the truth.
4. Why do we lie?
I think we're lying because we're ashamed of some aspects of our lives or behavior. In addition, it is easier to tell nice lies than difficult truths.
I have to say this happened very often, for example the most lies I heard is that when I am going out with close friends, we planned to meet at 3:00 pm, if I arrived at 2:55 pm and ask someone where are you, usually they will say "oh, I still have 2 or 3 stations left", but actually they usually just went out of home, not even in the bus. Anyway I do so sometimes to my close friends too ha ha...so I actually don't care that much.
2. What is your view on lying?
It is okay if someone lies for protecting other person's feeling. Besides, it is really bad to lie about some serious or important things, anyway, just think about what future someone will have if he/she usually lies.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
As I answer in the 1st question, I lied too, but only to close friends, because we have good relationship, we know each others, sometimes we basically lie this way for joke. And as a Chinese, if I see my foreigner friend's new Chinese sentences tattoo is something silly not what he wanted, then I don't know should I lie or tell the truth, I have to protect his/her feeling XD
4. Why do we lie?
Because there is benefit behind the lie.
Many times, mostly because they were trying to avoid consequences of their actions. But this is never a good way to go.
2. What is your view on lying?
If someone lies to make a good thing like preparing a suprise party, there is nothing bad about it. But if someone lies to protect his interest or to use someone then it is wrong and we as human beings should restrain from doing so.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
I prefer to tell the truth most of the times. It is faster and easier, while lying won't buy you much time to preper for confrontation. Also it may make things worse.
4. Why do we lie?
To run from consequences mostly I would say or to not hurt the feelings of others.
2. I view it as something negative that can lead to terrible problems if abused.
Lying has its purpose as a tool in a fight with an enemy.
3. I sometimes lie just not to be bothered
4. People lie for many reasons: fear, anger, manipulation, good intentions, bad intentions.
Many of us are duplicating lies we heard from someone else (who heard it from someone else and so on..) and may not even know it. I believe there are a few huge lies strongly believed among society.
I guess the questions should be what is the worst lie that you have ever heard from someone, because there is no way around that someone is living in this world, without ever heard a lie. The lies I heard about usually natural.
2. What is your view on lying?
It's good if you are trying to not hurt someone. Otherwise, it's good to be avoided.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
I lie. It's in humans nature. People lie to avoid the truth or reality to avoid the overwork.
4. Why do we lie?
I think people lied to me many, many times without me even knowing it. I guess it’s just the way our world works. It a kind of a gambling game in which we don’t want to be caught cheating. Most of the time people lied, because they were afraid of my reaction. Maybe they thought they would hurt me, but I’m guessing, they were more afraid of the fact that I would simply “get up and leave”. I’ve encountered few natural liars but it’s extremely hard and exhausting to verify whether they are being truthful or not and it’s not worth it. Better to stay away from them.
2. What is your view on lying?
I don’t have any specific view on lying. As I said before, I think it something that is acceptable in our society, and functions on the daily basis. At times it’s better to lie and stay away from the problems thanks to that. When it comes to relations with my relatives and friends, I am considered to be the person that is blunt and direct, and I pride myself on that. I don’t think it’s possible to create anything meaningful and sincere when the fundaments are rotten.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
Of course, I lie to people from time to time. Nevertheless, as I said before I tend to tell the truth even if it’s uncomfortable or hurtful.
4. Why do we lie?
I think it’s something “coded” somewhere inside us. We don’t like to lose, be worse than someone else (in our society the way we are perceived by others is one of the crucial elements of functioning) therefore we don’t like to be caught cheating, which lying undeniably is, and be considered unreliable. It’s also easier to bypass unpleasant consequences of telling the truth and live happy, unproblematic life.
Yes, some people have lied a few times. However, this was not for any reason you gave in the question, but because the truth was simply inconvenient for them. I don't think I've ever been lied to for the intention of someone defending me or avoiding hurting me. Usually these are simple lies, smaller or larger, usually it doesn't even make any difference.
2. What is your view on lying?
I think lying can be helpful. Sometimes it helps us avoid the consequences of deeds that the other person may not know at all. I don't consider lying a bad thing. It depends, of course, what the lie is. I am referring to a difference of, for example - a lie about the results of the test and a lie about feelings about the other person.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
Yes, I use lies, but I do it quite rarely. Most often it happens when I talk to people who are less important to me or who I don't know very well. However, people closest to me, family, friends, I lie here very rarely, and really only if I really have to, usually for the good of the other person or our relationship.
4. Why do we lie?
I think people usually lie in situations where there is no easy way out if they told the truth. Thus, they avoid the consequences and make their lives easier, but live in constant uncertainty. Sometimes they want to look good in the eyes of others or show off something they haven't really done. We hide the truth with lies - it may prove very convenient until the situation turns out to be so serious that revealing the truth would be fatal.
2. I find lying to people rather inappropriate. In contrast, there are clusters where natural liars are ordered. They are rather professions like politics or criminals.
3. I don't think I lie to anyone because I have no reason to.
4.We lie to present yourself better or cover our mistakes. In any case, the reason is uncertainty about yourself or ourbehavior.
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2. It is an inalienable part of our lives – just don’t forget that anyone can lie to you and you can lie to anyone as well (okay, almost anyone). You can use your chance or not but always be cautious of what others tell you.
3. I rarely lie – I just usually don’t have a reason to but if I have to I do so.
4. I’ve already told the reasons so to not repeat myself I will say: because we can.
2. I don't like lying and more obviously I can't stand being lied to. I believe that sometimes we lie to protect someone, but in the end this person only gets hurt, when the truth is dirty.
3. Generally speaking i tend to tell the truth, but I'm able to tell a white lie when the situation is not that serious.
4. because it's easier. Because we are ashamed about what we did. Because we think that it's better this way. For every lie there's a reason.
2. I think that the lies are necessary for us to communicate properly. If everyone always told the truth, we would hate each other.
3. Yes, I do tell lies when I feel like I need to.
4. I have partially answered this question in point 2. People are scared of always telling the truth as usually it is more hurtful than lying.
1. I'm sure many people lied to many throughtout my entire life. It is hard for me to say the motivation, but the ones mentioned are really situation depended and driven by many factors.
2. In general I consider lying as a bad thing. However, in many cases lying is somewhat ok. Would you tell you child that santa doesn't exist if it would make it sad?
3. I used to lie a bit when I was younger. Nowadays I'm rather honest person for a simple reason. I do not have to lie. I can be honest all the time and nothing really happens.
4. Usually to achieve things we normally couldn't and not to hurt or protect another people. It strongly depends on the situation and shouldn't be considered the same way.
2,3,4. I have a very negative attitude to lies. I do not like liars and when they lie to me. I can’t say that I never lied, sometimes I had to. There were cases for which I was very ashamed and had to lie, but there are very few of them. In life, I try not to fall into such stories, but if it happened, it’s better to tell the truth and leave it in the past than to lie and it'll follow you. But of course it all depends on the situation, it may happen that a lie is the only way out.
I try to never lie, I can keep back something or embellish a little, but won't lie, especially to close people. In childhood, I was taught that one lie entails another and that all secrets sooner or later become apparent.
2. As I`ve said, it matters only when I want to know the truth and it concerns to things that are important for me.
3. White lie)) interesting… it`s not my fault, that someone can`t ask the concrete question, to get full answer. An example:
Question: “Did you write this code?”
Thought before answer:” Did I wrote it? You wrote it with your hands. Did someone help me? I was finding the helpful information on forums about the topic, I was reading it, I consolidated it in one whole. So …”
Answer:” Yes.”
Don’t see here any lie…
4. I think that above, there is already an answer.
thanks for your comment and answer to my questions. It's good to know that there are people who still rather tell the worst truth than lie into open eyes.
What did you do when you knew the truth while still someone was lying? What did you to the person?
Could you elaborate on the topic of lying in your childhood? Is this has something to do with school or rather personal stuff? I don't want to sound inquistive, I just want to compare experience between people as I also lied while being a child - mostly it had something to do with my grades for example or just not to be hurt later by others.
I wouldn't say that when people start telling each other truth and only truth, then they start hating each other. Maybe relationship between two individuals would not exist after telling the truth by one to another but then on the other hand, you know that that person is honest with you. So in the end you may not like what he/she said to you but at least you respect her/him for the fact of telling the truth. That also might bring one to a conclusion that you lie from time to time because as you said you "have been lied to by all types of liars".
2. Sometimes a lie is needed. Truth can hurt. It is important to know when to tell the truth and when it is better to lie.
3. Sometimes I lie, it's hard to be truthful all life. It's important not to overdo it, because you can get lost in lies.
4. There are a lot of reasons. Some people lie because they don't want to hurt someone, others are notorious liars. Some lie to extort money or slander someone.
thanks for answering. I can see that, on the contrary to Maciej, you'd rather accept the worst version of truth than a lie and in the end your ways did not set apart. You had a conversation which probably was difficult for both of us but in the end you still keep in touch.
On the other hand, why do you lie even though you can't stnad being lied to? I understand that you do that when "situation is not that serious" but when something is not that serious to you, other person might think differently.
thanks for your comment.
thanks for your input. What makes you think that lying is good for protection of other person? Isn't it just an excuse not to tell the truth? After all, why are the decision maker when it concerns more the person you are selling a lie to?
thanks for your comment. I guess you are one of a few people here who tell the truth for most of the time. It's good to know that
I think that each of us was once lied to, for example, when our parents convinced us that Santa Claus gave us presents or when they threatened us with monsters when we behaved badly. I was not an exception to such situations. I think their intentions were not bad and I don't blame them.
2. What is your view on lying?
I believe that a lie is never good from a moral point of view, but serious lies must be distinguished from innocent jokes.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
Of course, I happen to lie but I try to avoid it. However, the truth can sometimes hurt a lot.
4. Why do we lie?
I think people who lie may have different motivations. Some lie to gain something, while others lie to not hurt someone.
2. I don't think that keeping people happy is more important that telling them truth. Lies always tend to come out, and it can only make situation worse.
3. As i mentioned in previous answer: I try not to lie, either when i know it's important and hurtful or not.
4. I'd say it depends on people and the situation whether someone lies or not.
2. Lying is definately bad habbit. Whenever you want to make one just imagine yourself in the same situation – do you want to hear lies? In the majority of time people want to be told the truth and they try to give the same in the return. When you lie you should have really important reason for that.
3. I don’t tolerate addicted liars, people who lie in every little situation. When you know that this person is telling the truth. You lose your reliability doing this, don’t recommend that.
4. Some people just must, they don’t have a reason. Some just need to protect people from knowing the truth, or they just think they do. But not every accident is the same and it really depends on situation.
1. Yes, so many times. It is natural for people to lie. I would prefer to keep the details to myself.
2. I hate lies. I prefer the bitter truth to the sweet lie. Sooner or later the lie will come out, so it's not worth lying.
3. As I wrote above, I always tell the truth. It may be weird, but it's true.
4. I don't know, because maybe it's our nature?
Yes, I know a lot of people who lied to me, unfortunately. It was probably caused by some kind of illness, people often lie not to check someone's unpleasantness or, like I wrote, defending someone. In my opinion, a lie has its pros and cons, but most disadvantages. Did I lie? Unfortunately, that happened to me to lie, but I did it so that someone did not feel bad, usually I try not to do it. Why are we lying? All in all, I have already answered this above.
Yes, usually it is because they are natural liars but if it someone close it is more likely that they dont want to hurt you.
2. What is your view on lying?
I never lie to anyone but i start to think that lying is good if it only changes thinks for worst and wont bring any goods
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
i never lie
4. Why do we lie?
to be seen as a better person
Yes, a lot of times people did. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it caused a depression. Most of the times it was not to protect me.
2. What is your view on lying?
I do not lie. I can keep something to myself, but when somebody asks me a straight-on question, I will tell the truth. So I hate lies.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
As I said on previous question, I DO NOT LIE.
4. Why do we lie?
Sometimes to protect ourselves, sometimes to escape the fight, sometimes to protect the other people.
I've been many times lied to so I guess that there was a huge variety of reasons behind those lies. Propably all of the reasons mentioned in the question have appeared througout the years but it is hard to spot when the lie is supposed to protect you. Either way I don't appreciate it.
2. What is your view on lying?
Lies sometimes are needed but shouldn't be considered as rightous. Never. When you lie it is wrong, but sometimes you have to choose between smaller or bigger evil. Lie can be just less or more hurtful.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
I would like to say that I never lie, but unfortunately I do. Usually it is just an easier way. Not a proper but easier one.
I think we are all liers. And, each of us has ever lied to anyone, no matter what is the reason. Accordingly, someone has ever lied to me. So, my answer - YES.
2) What is your view on lying?
Actually, I don't like if someone will lie to me. but I understand - this is a natural thing and people lie.
3) Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
Yes, I lie, it happens because of different reasons and depends on the situation.
But, I tried to avoid lying.
4) Why do we lie?
I could not answer this question. I think someone tries to avoid unpleasant situations, someone tries to not offend someone or someone just needs to lie.
Yes, many time people lied to me. It was from various reasons I think. Hard to spot a pattern in this. Unfortunately in most of the cases people lie to hide a truth from me in sick believe that I can't handle it.
2. What is your view on lying?
In almost every case it is a pathetic way to avoid taking responsibility for our actions or words. There is however very narrow window when a lie can actualy do some good - white lie.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
Yes, sometimes I white lie or lie. There are situations where simply we are not brave enough to admit to out mistakes. There are also very specific situation where a lie is part of a surprise for instance.
4. Why do we lie?
To hide the truth, to avoid punishment for our actions, to blame others. Basically in almost all the cases to not take responsibility. One in a milion lie is made in good purpose and can actually help.
2. I don’t like lies.
3. I do but try not to.
4. Because it’s natural.
I don't believe that someone did not get lied till now in any situation. People lie constantly with all kind of motivations.
2. What is your view on lying?
I think liars prefer to simply lie than to take responsibility for their actions.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
It's a hard one but I prefer to tell truth all the time because whenever I lie I do it just to not be unpolite person.
4. Why do we lie?
We lie because we want to or we believe we need to.
2. The important thing is not to lie to yourself.
3. Everyone lies, even if a person says that he never lied - he is lying.
4. Why do we lie? Because we are humans.
It happens in my daily basis, maybe I think I don’t even notice that someone lies me usually. I think there are different reasons because people tend to lie, that is how humans reacts.
2. What is your view on lying?
It's pointless question because everybody says that they are against lying and etc, but it todays reality it is working other way around. In general, people from ancient times lied to each other and this is one of our natural qualities
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
Well, there is special cases sometimes it's better to lie sometimes it's better to tell truth but from my perspective the only person that you suppose to be honest it's ourselves.
4. Why do we lie?
Because it's way how we deal with problems and avoid punishment or just to elevate our EGO.
Of course yes. People lie each other everyday day regularly. I think there are a lot of reasons why people lie. Maybe they don't want to look stupid or they are protecting themselves or somebody else. People can lie because they want to look smarter or more important and so on.
2. What is your view on lying?
I don't like telling lie. I prefer to say the truth or don't say anything. Maybe it is because I am a bad liar or maybe it is because the lie hasn't helped to solve anything.
3. Do you lie or white lie from time to time or you’d rather tell the truth and never lied to anybody?
I would rather tell the truth. It is much simpler to tell lie, but at the same time, it could get you to an unexpected place or situation.
4. Why do we lie?
There are a lot of reasons, but I think, the main one is because it is in our nature. For us to tell a lie is as natural as a smile.
2. People lie for various reasons. As it was mentioned sometimes, unfortunately, people lie deliberately, sometimes they lie not to hurt someone. I believe that a lie is always a lie, no matter how beautiful it is. For me, there is no rational explanation for cheating another person. This usually brings pain and disappointment when the truth comes out.
3. There is a proverb "a lie has short legs". I always tell the truth and assume that a terrible truth is better than a beautiful lie.
4. We lie for various reasons. Sometimes it's just that people can't live differently but in most cases I think a lie is born of fear, fear of loss, rejection, disappointment, pain. Lying is simply easier than living in the truth, because unfortunately the truth is not always convenient for everyone.
2)I dislike lying, but i guess everyone would say that - even liars. I don't think that every kind of lie is wrong. Unless you hurt anyone, deminish or undermine them by lying to them, i don't feel it is bad. I know how it sounds when you say that not always lying is bad, but we have to understand that sometimes it just doesn't matter or only matters to liar. Sometimes i can understand liars or even play devil's advocate, but personally i restrain myself from lying because i believe it is downgrading.
3) I guess sometimes it happens but mostly i restrain myself from it, even in situations that actually need it. On the other hand i don't really think that every white lie is actually lie. Lying is about making someone wrong. White lies can be about boosting someone's confidence instead eg.
4) There are a lot of reasons. If you ask about big lies - then probably because people are weak, lazy, afraid, they try to avoid confrontations and so on. Of course, people lie to get benefits, but again - it is because of their weakness or laziness. If they weren't like this, they could reach their goals without lies.