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Week 11 [03-09.06.2019] Fear of failure


Jia Jiang talks about his problems. He tells us about the psychological trauma he received as a child. When he was already an adult, that little boy reminded him of himself. Every time Jia Jiang tried to achieve success, this fear reminded of himself, and interfered with it. Jia Jiang talks about ways to overcome fear of rejection.


I will be honest and frank.
In fact, I have the same problem as this person. Every time I want to do something brilliant, I stop, I never ask people for help. Having a motto: If you want it to be good, do it yourself. I do not ask people. If I know that this is possible, and it rightfully belongs to me, then I will take it. But if me need to ask someone to give me it, I will not ask about it and I leave. Afraid that they will give me the answer "NOT!".

Therefore, I have a few questions for you:

Do you think, this method is effective?
Do you have a similar problem?
How do you accept rejection?
Maybe you heard about other methods?

Comments

Bartosz Barnat said…
1. Yes I think it is effective just because it makes you face your fears and not run from them like you would do in most situations.

2. I think that nowadays many people have problem with beeing rejected. I have a fear of rejection and because of that I lost my opportunity for doing something that could change my life completely but I will never know because I didn't try.

3. I accept rejection just by thinking that it wasn't meant to work out and I should wait for the right moment and people. Simply by doing that my life has really changed.

4. I don't really know any methods to cope with rejection. I'm glad I saw this video, it is really helpful and I think I will try this way of learning how to cope with rejection. I saw his video once on youtube but didn't watch it to the end.
Peter Clemenza said…
Do you think, this method is effective?
Well it is how it is

Do you have a similar problem?
No, not really

How do you accept rejection?
I just stopped caring So Much about rejection. Life still goes on, and there are a lot of many girls down there
People have different taste, and you cant force someone to like you, or to feel attracted to you

Maybe you heard about other methods?
Not at all, just be confident bro

>If you want it to be good, do it yourself. I do not ask people.
Not at all, You can't do everything, and something like joint action cooperation is always better.
I would just add, if you want it to be good, don't do it on principles of "acquaintanceship". (for free)
Maciej Sadoś said…
1. Do you think, this method is effective?
I think this method could be effective as you can finally get used to rejection after some time and just embrace it as not only something bad. Like it was mentioned in the video, rejection has different sources and it couldn't be necessary connected with us as the "asking person"

2. Do you have a similar problem?
Sometimes I have that feeling when I better just stay quiet and don't ask or say anything but in most cases I try to overcome that because I know I can only lose when behaving like that. When I'm not afraid I can lose too, but I can also stay neutral or win, so the decision is clear for me. (considering some abstract situation)

3. How do you accept rejection?
It always depends on what is the situation, how something is rejected and what the rejection concerns. I always try to take it easy and think about possibilities and talk about it.

4. Maybe you heard about other methods?
I have never heard about other methods of overcoming rejection, it is the first time I face this topic.
Yes, I think that this method of learning in this way can overcome fear. I think that each of us was once 6 years old and was afraid of being rejected. As I was a child, I often changed classes at school and I was always afraid of rejection. It has never been easy for me to fit in with a new company. However, over time, I have learned to adapt to the behaviors of different people and do not worry about them if they do not like me.
It seems to me that the more we spend with people, the more we can learn something from them. How to take an example from someone or how to avoid their behavior.
I will tell you even, and for a fee they do not always do the work qualitatively. I did not mean free of charge and do not mean that I want to use someone. I do not ask people for anything, because I fear a negative reaction in response. Therefore, I prefer to do it myself. For example, I need bread or milk, if you go to the store, and I know about it, I will not ask you to buy it for me (I will give you money). Even if I am in a hurry. I'll go to the store myself or stay hungry. I hope you understand what I'm talking about =)
Illia Lukisha said…
Do you think, this method is effective? Do you have a similar problem?

I think that it is. As a shiny person it's hard for me to ask for something, especially as a foreigner and don't know language as good as I want to. But even in my own country it's hard to me to ask for help. But every time I have enough courage to ask, I'm surprised of how helpful it can be.

How do you accept rejection?

I think that the fear of rejection is worse than actual rejection itself. We just don't want to be confused.

Maybe you heard about other methods?

In my life I try to use all possibilities that are coming, and be brave enough to do what I want.
1. At the first glance method seems to be kind of too radical. It may be so hard for a person who experienced many rejections to take this path. However, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
2. No, I don’t, fear of a rejection is a mainly problem of those who are insecure and has low self-esteem.
3. I just keep trying, improve my skills. I take them seriously, but don’t let them overwhelm me. From each something can be derived – a lesson or an experience.
4. I’m not into coaches and obvious solutions like the guy was laughing about, so unfortunately no.
s18716 said…
Do you think, this method is effective?
I think this method is effective, as it is precisely the one that aims to overcome fears and doubts. After everything that has been done in such a list as the speaker in the video, it seems to me that a good habit can arise, such as to adequately respond to failures and not consider them to be the end of the world.

Do you have a similar problem?
I think this problem to some extent each of us faced. Here the bigger question is how much he dealt with it. It seems to me that when such a perception is formed over time throughout life experience, then an understanding of such things comes more clearly.

How do you accept rejection?
I try to find in it positive sides. If the situation is not quite successful, there are certainly alternatives that may be the best in this issue.

Maybe you heard about other methods?
Honestly, no. With a similar methodology on this issue, I came across for the first time. That is, your video and its content was new to me.
It is probably effective as they are making video about it :D But i don't think I would ever try it myself. I experience fear of failure sometimes but I think you just need to try and do not overthink it. Hmm, rejection is always painfull, but I belive that time heal wounds and after rejection It is best to try again with someone / something else. I don't know any psychological methods I am not interested in this area, but I think that you just need to belive in yourself and keep going.
Adam Sukiennik said…
Do you think, this method is effective?

Its best way to fight with self problems, if You cant handle it other way, best way is face Way ! :D

Do you have a similar problem?

I have similar problem only with people who language i didnt know, in this situations i get stuck, i got little shock and only what i try is talking with english and using google translate app but it is last hope

How do you accept rejection?

i Think that rejection is worst feeling You could ever get, it is shocking, it stuns and makes u Feeling as Worst in the world ;/

Maybe you heard about other methods?

I don't really heard about "working" methods but i know that pshyologist is always ready for help
1. Yes He has a good chance of success.
2. Yes, sometimes it happens but I do not care.
3. I try to forget.
4. I have not heard anything about the professional.
1. Do you think, this method is effective?
People are a species that is able to adapt very quickly to many situations, thats why I think that this method is good

2. Do you have a similar problem?
It all depends on the situation in which I find myself, sometimes I fight for my voice, sometimes I'm silent, sometimes I listen to the opinions of others because someone can be right and I'm not.

3. How do you accept rejection?
I always try to approach rejection from the perspective of a third person, I never get carried away by emotions.


4. Maybe you heard about other methods?
I have never heard about other methods

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