How to build (and rebuild) trust?
This is the main question following Frances Frei presentation in which she is breaking down fundamentals of trust. She speaks about how trust works, how to build it, maintain it and rebuild it after you loose it. Of course some cases are fatal but, not all. Please, watch this course and answer some questions.
Here are some questions:
1. Is it easy for you to trust someone?
2. Have you ever experienced major trust fail?
3. Do you agree with argument that fundamentals of trust are: empathy, authenticity and logic?
4. Are you able to trust somebody again?
Comments
2. I can`t divide the trust into a serious or frivolous one. Probably I can trust some close people, but if someone's actions or words arouse suspicion, then despite the trust I would still check the authenticity of what was said by the person.
3. Yes, I agree with this statement. I’m only not sure about logic. In a lot of cases, people trust just because they want to. Without validating logic of statements.
4. Yes, if this person deserve my trust again, but unlikely.
I find my self among lucky people who never have trust issues either side.
It's actually make a lot of sense that you trust people who are not trying to appear better then they are speak logically and you feel that they care about you.
It make people very suspicious of everyone and very hard to trust other person.
People are more intelligent these days and they have better understanding of person and more professional then emotional.You know the signs of someone cheating so confront it early enough. Talk about your history with your partner. That much you need to trust. If you can’t even do that then you are not ready to be in a relationship.
I find it easy to trust someone if I had already a chance to meet this person and make an opinion about him/her. Unless it was a negative one, I have no problem with trust.
2. Have you ever experienced major trust fail?
Back in the child days, I had this unpleasant situation when one of my friend actually stole our "treasure", which we had dug under one of the trees between our homes. Seems funny now, but for me that day it was a major trust fail.
3. Do you agree with argument that fundamentals of trust are: empathy, authenticity and logic?
It sounds good to me. Empathy (or being empathic to be exact) produces serotonin, which strengthen human bond. Authenticity is something, which can be easily recognised and it's lack is detectable. There is no trust without it. Finally, when you construct your sentences rationally and the idea you're trying to share is logical, it is much easier to believe you. I'd say logic is not a mandatory factor in order to gain someone's trust, but it is very helpful.
4. Are you able to trust somebody again?
It would require a lot of work and effort from this person, as I am not type of human who forgives easily. It also depends on my relation and feelings to the other person.
2. Oh yes couple of times, pretty harsh ones. But they were also very valuable experiences for me, thanks to that I didn’t make the same mistakes later and mitigated various disasters.
3. I agree but I would also add secrecy. These 4 would create fundamentals that guarantee a healthy relation based on trust.
4. Yes and no. This depends on the situation, I would have to take into consideration the reason of why I lost my trust to that person in the first place. However, generally once my trust is lost it cannot be changed.
It depends on a feeling you get when you look someone's eye, Mostly I trust everyone, but I give different percentage of trust to people and with the time it may grow or not.
Have you ever experienced major trust fail?
Yes, and the last one was such unexpectable that I can't remind anyone else.
Do you agree with argument that fundamentals of trust are: empathy, authenticity and logic?
The fundamental of trust is simply not telling false information to people you trust. and they will give you the same in return.
Are you able to trust somebody again?
Yes, I do, but now it is much easier to lose my trust than even a few major trust fails ago.
I have met many people who have abused my trust in them, especially when I was young. I can see that the previous experiences still have some negative effects on me. Putting trust into people doesn't come as naturally as it did, anymore.
People are really surprising and some of them are really different. Even if there is not much logic, it doesn't automatically mean that whatever they say is a lie. We have to be smart and base our decisions on the individual approach for each and every one of them. Surely, judging the credibility of other people by empathy, authenticity and logic isn't bad at all in most of the cases.
Once my trust for someone has been abused, I don't think that there would be ever coming back to what it was before. Trusting people is pretty hard, but trusting people again is even harder. Moreover, it's pretty often not worth it.
2. Yeah, few times, but it still hasn't ruined my ability to easily trust people
3. Yes, i agree, but I think that i would expand this list with patience.
4. Yes, of course, why not?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It varies from the first impression and how they treat me long after it. And in many cases my trust is gained by small steps.
2. Have you ever experienced major trust fail?
Yes, but it is not the thing I want to talk about.
3. Do you agree with argument that fundamentals of trust are: empathy, authenticity and logic?
Well, maybe I would use different words to describe those elements, but in general I agree with this. But I feel that sometimes this triangle is too general to describe trust gaining.
4. Are you able to trust somebody again?
It depends on the situation and person, that lost my trust. But there is a group of people I will never ever trust again.
Personally I found this TED talk a little boring, but I don't know if it's the reason of the whether conditions or just I don't like the way she speaks.
Of course i experienced major trust fail from my side but also from other side.
I agree with this three things. Empathy, authenticity and logic is those things which make subconsciously that people start to belive us.
I'm able to belive people once again but only when i feel that they truly care about our friendship.
2. Yes. Sometimes you don’t expect a lie from your very close friend or even family, but unfortunately it could happen.
3. I think, that these given fundamentals of trust are correct, but in a lot of cases, people just don’t validate logic of statements.
4. Lately - no. Maybe I’ll change my mind someday.
I think it depends of The person .
2. Have you ever experienced major trust fail?
Yes i did and it’s painful
3. Do you agree with argument that fundamentals of trust are: empathy, authenticity and logic?
I’m Not quite sure if i understood everything but it seems logic so yes i do agree
4. Are you able to trust somebody again?
I already did trust somebody again and life will tell if Its a good decision
But also I'm a little bit naive and trying to see best in people. This kind of behavior exactly because of some trust fails. I'm not sure about empathy but about authenticity and logical I agree. I don't know about full trust. But in my opinion, it's not faire to built relations with new friendships based on the conclusions of betrayals committed by others. I think everyone deserve opinion which based on their actions.
So yes, I'll at least try.
Once I experienced major trust fail in one of my best friends. I knew that he was spurious person but was hope that he was authentic at least for me. Sadly, he wasn't.
I totally agree with this fundamental, without it trust is nothing.
Nope, when somebody disappoint me at least once, I am never giving another chance.
2. Yes, I have experienced major trust fail. It was really hard for me to deal with it and be over it. I was feeling disappointment and I needed few months to understand that person was not worth my time. That experience made me stronger and all in all I am glad that it happened at the beginning of my life because now I am concious that we shouldn't trust everybody absolutely.
3. Yes, I agree with this statement. Now I don't have a better definition of trust to other people.
4. Yes, I am able to still trust people who are worth it. :)
Maybe not major trust fail, but some imprefection and lack of promises for sure.
Yes, these 3 are must be, when trust are concerned.
It's hard, but people change. I could give them my trust again, but I'll be more carefull about it
No. I've learned from life, that it's hard to trust someone. When you trust someone, who is not worth it then he will probably use it against you.
2. Have you ever experienced major trust fail?
Yes. It was so hard for me to understand it.
3. Do you agree with argument that fundamentals of trust are: empathy, authenticity and logic?
Yes
4. Are you able to trust somebody again?
It is very hard right now, but it is possibble. I am not trusting people like I used to 5-7 years ago. I need some time to trust someone