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Week 6 [07.05-13.05.2018] Small Talk about Big Thing’s

Small Talk about Big Things

Small talk: the great art of "small talk"
Do you think that small talk is a waste of time? Misrepresentation. Successful small talk is a very important factor in a career.
Rising in the morning in the office, you encounter an elevator with the boss. Your actions:

a) Say hello and wait for the boss himself starts a conversation.
b) Say hello and make a note about the weather.

The correct answer is the last one, because having talked with the chef in a neutral way, you will make a good impression on him. A harmless remark about traffic jams on roads, crowded subways or a sunny day is what you need, experts advise. But where to start such a conversation, sometimes even top managers do not know.

Not harmless conversation is not for everyone
It would seem that nothing is easier than to talk about "this - this," "about nature - about the weather." But if it was really that easy ... A practicing communication consultant teaches at his seminars how to conduct an easy conversation - small talk. Just in the professional sphere, you should not underestimate its importance.
"Any contact begins with small talk, so it's like a first mutual scan. Small talk is a very important factor in a career because it often depends on your contacts and relationships with certain people"

"Do not forget that small talk is just a means, so its content should not be in the foreground, in fact, the general atmosphere of the conversation is important." During a small talk, we subconsciously analyze the person's posture, his intonation, the general mood. We receive a lot of non-verbal information, which is why we need an easy, seemingly meaningless conversation. "
Important…

To small talk succeeded, experts recommend following several rules:
- Try to find a common theme as soon as possible, then your interest in the conversation will be genuine.

Listen carefully and show interest in what you hear.

- Ask open-ended questions, that is, those that are not followed by a monosyllabic answer "yes" or "no."

- Make compliments to your companion. But do not overdo it. Your praise should be justified.

- Regularly read and start an original hobby. This will make you an entertaining companion.


You can not ...

There are a number of things that you should not do, so that a casual conversation succeeds:

- Do not start a long conversation if you see that your interlocutor is in a hurry or busy with something else.

- Do not retell the contents of books or films, if no one but you is familiar with them.

- Do not affect those that can cause conflict or get unpleasant development. Such topics include politics, religion or illness.

In the US it is considered quite acceptable to talk about income, in Germany this topic is taboo.
How good this or that topic is, sometimes depends on the national mentality. "For example, in the south of Europe, the interlocutors often start talking about the family almost immediately, but in Germany, with not very familiar people, this topic is not discussed," the expert cites the example. "Not wanting to, we can touch someone with our question. , our interlocutor painfully experiences a divorce, or he has no children, because he can not have them. "The family theme is quite intimate, so it's better to bypass it."

It's right to lead small talk under everyone's power. You just need to constantly train: in the store, at the bus stop or at the gym. Then, at an important meeting or party, you can easily relax on general topics. Perhaps the next acquaintance will play a decisive role for your career.

It is not possible to please everyone, the main thing is not to offend anyone.

1.      How can you assess your skills in Small Talk?
2.      What would you talk about with Donald Trump for 2 minutes and using Small Talk skills?

Source

info by Vouge UA
https://youtu.be/JyN39BSL7OA
https://youtu.be/Mib9E2ks8T0


Comments

Marcin Mróz said…
I think I'm not kind of 'small talk' person, I rather tend to talk to people when I have something concrete to say to them. But I agree that it is a true skill to start a good small talk. Sometimes it could be hard to choose whether to start it or not, because when you're not good at it or you don't have good theme, it will be awkward, but if you don't say anything either, it will be awkward too. ;) But I guess that practice is the only way to improve your small talk skills.
Illia Kalinin said…
I can't say that I'm good in small-talks andI want to improve that skill, because I understand how useful it may be. Basically I prefer to stay silent, but if I am involved in a small-talk I can give a few senseless answers back. If I have 2 minutes with Mr. Tramp I'd like to ask him 2 things: how was his day? And Does he sleep well?
Unknown said…
1. I think I’m alright with small talk. But leading conversation from it into more meaningful conversation is something that I struggle with. The less I know the person the harder it is and more time I spend focusing on the fact that I can’t think of something rather than let my thoughts just flow naturally.
2. I would probably start off with questions regarding his presidential work. That probably wouldn’t have happened though since if I were to meat president of USA. He would be the one initiating conversation as it seems more appropriate.
In my opinion, I do quite well in small talks. I always try to keep up the conversation. Unfortunately, sometimes you will go to a person who does not feel like it or does not know how to conduct such a conversation, which leads to the awkward end of such a chat. All persons participating in the conversation should take an active part. If someone only answers 'yes' and 'no' to the question, it is difficult to lead a casual chat.
I think that with Donald Trump you can talk loosely on any subject, despite his position. I think I would ask about interest and passion, which he tries to do in his spare time.
Jakub Nietupski said…
I am really bad at small talk, I feel much more confident when I meet people to work on a specific task, because then the conversation will flow towards that direction. It is hard for me to find random topics on the fly.
If I met Donald Trump I would have a lot of things to say to him, but they definitely wouldn't be small-talkish. If I were to make a small talk to him I would probably ask about his trip to Poland - how did he like Warsaw etc.
Andrzej Gulak said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…

Personally, I don't have a problem with small talk. If I meet someone new at the beginning, I don't say much but I listen and hear something about the other person. Generally I make contact with people quickly unless I see that the person thinks completely different than me. I don't like people without a sense of humor.
Filip Sawicki said…
My „small talk” skills are on sufficient level, however I really hate doing that. To me this is waste of time and usually brings nothing to the conversation. I prefer to conduct a meaningful conversation if possible. If I had an opportunity to talk with Donald Trump I’m sure that I wouldn’t start it with small talk, there is no time for that nonsense. I would ask him about his political directions and try to extract as much information about his external influences on decision making as possible.
Small talk is mostyl taking about nothig and can't solve real problems in most cases. I prefer to talk about something exact and some time but when I don't want to communicate with person I make "small talk" with it.
Maciej Nowak said…
I am not a good small talker unfortunately and I prefer to talk when I have something more meaningful to say with people I know more. But I understand how it might be important some situation and how it is helpful when talking to people you see the very first time. I have no idea about what I would talk about with Donald Trump as it is too unlikely. However, I know that I would't talk about weather.
Jakub Lisicki said…
I can't really decide whether I'm good at small talk or not. I guess that either way, I'm not that much into it. I prefer to talk about more specific matters, ways of resolving the issues than to waste mine and anyone else's time on meaningless topics. It seems pretty natural to me that if I go out or we have some more spare time as a group, we talk about various topics. Some of them more important and some less. That's the point - I think that we shouldn't make the conversations feel as if they were staged. I can agree with some points of this article, but it's way too basic to be treated completely seriously. Human interactions are pretty often really confusing, and it takes time to master this topic.
If I would get in a small talk with Donald Trump, I would try to understand the motives behind some of his decisions, which for me sound pretty unreasonable.
Iman Masjedi said…
Best way to talk with someone is to say what you are thinking. There are a few minimal filters you may need to shift your thoughts like avoiding the more perverse topics and you may want to avoid controversial topics however aside from those whatever nervousness you are feeling is likely to be felt by the other person as well so sometimes just saying that you would love to be talking but have no idea what to say is a possible start.emotions on communication application are somehow modern way of small talk.If i have opportunity to talk with Donald Trump in 2 min i prefer to talk tips on business and his success key on his business.
Truth be told, everything depends on person you talk to. It’s hard to start a conversation with somebody who already doesn’t want to talk to you. I think I am kind of person that is ready to talk with everyone about every single topic but I don’t consider that my Small Talk skill is good enough.

If I met Donald Trump I would pretend to be blind.
Unknown said…
I think is pretty valuable skill to talk in your carrear but not only. I would say its useful in day to day life also. For example you don't affraid to talk to new people on sume conferences or meetup or even to start talk with a girl.
Vladlen Kyselov said…
Small-talks seems completely useless for me, because they provide almost no information. My opinion is if you have no common with a person then there is rather nothing to talk about, but there is a question what to do with that uncomfortable silence in the moment your are not in a conversation? Well I don`t really care about this silence. And if someone is trying to 'small-talk' to me I won`t behave bad and will not lead conversation to the dead end, because I am not a bad person and don`t want to disappoint them.
Unknown said…
1. My level in a short conversation - a beginner, I have a problem with starting a conversation, trying to get down to business immediately. However, I understand that Small Talk skills are very important for everyone in daily life, business, and career.
2. With such a successful person in business and life, I would talk about "how to become a confident person?", "How to distinguish a real possibility from an imaginary one?", And finally "what main rules of success did he gain during life? "
Smalltalk is the worst thing mankind have made definition for. I usually like my conversation to have some meaning or to receive some satisfaction from them instead of pretending i want to talk to person. The worst thing to do is waste your 2 minutes with Trump on smalltalk. I would ask him about why he decided to become president, and if he would like to invest some money in poor student from Poland =3
Unknown said…

I think that i'm quite okay in ST. I don't have a problem with talking in various subjects, those more important as well as less. I think that in Poland it's polite when you start small talk when you meet someone.
What about Donald Trump... It's quite funny ;) I think that i will tell him that it's nice to meet him and ask how he feel today and share with him about my mood. Something very noncommittal.
Unknown said…
I rate poorly. I don't have such a skill for such short conversations, but I think that I will be able to improve it in the future.

If I had such an opportunity, I would probably like to ask for everything, but it wouldn't be enough for 2 minutes. If I were to use "Small talk" I would ask how the weekend has passed or what it thinks about the weather. I dont' know, 2 minutes is not enough time and unfortunately it's hard for me to say what I would like to ask.
Unknown said…

1. I consider my small talk skills as average as I find it hard to talk to people which I have nothing in common with. It is then hard for me to find suitable topic because I can’t imagine talking about some dull topics like weather or traffic jams.
2. I would ask him where does he get his haircut :)
Foodocado said…
First of all, thank you for the interesting article.

I am not a "small-talk' person. I hardly never start the conversation. Doesn't matter if it's in a gym, elevator or in a crowded bus. However, when someone pokes me and start the conversation with me, I have no problem to talk with this person for a longer time.

I think I would like to ask him what is the recipe for success (in his humble opinion).
Unknown said…
I don't think that my skills are outstanding, however I sometimes can make small-talks. But I feel myself not that confident and a bit confusedly. But I'm trying and I hope my skills will become better and better.
Oh, I would really ask Trump how it feels to be president. Yeah, I know, that would be confusing and embarrassing, but I guess I would be a fool to loose such possibility)
And in life I guess I would tell something about the weather, and then either ask about something politically- or geographicaly neutral. Maybe talk about some interesting places or tell something interesting about europe or something like that
Unknown said…
How can you assess your skills in Small Talk?
Well... Not good, I got problems with starting good conversations and keeping them alive... As well as choice of words is sometimes not good for my conversation partner, because I'm the unlucky guy. In many cases I unintentionally start topics, that are not comfortable for them.

What would you talk about with Donald Trump for 2 minutes and using Small Talk skills?
First of all, I would talk about his Mexican Wall and living in a White House. And I would let the conversation go by itself.
Unknown said…
I think im pretty good when it comes to Small Talk. I would say that when confronted with new people my Small Talk can reliably carry the conversation going. Im also pretty good at helping others in carying conversations, when i see them struggling to get the message through or to carry on i know how to ask the question to help them out.
If i had 2 minutes of record with Donald Trump i would ask him what he thinks about the people who had democratically voted him President of the USA and now are suprised by his actions. Because i think its the biggest hypocrisy of our times.
Marcin Górski said…
How can you assess your skills in Small Talk?
I think that is okay. I have no problems with starting conversations but... a few years ago I was a little shy but it has changed when I found a job. I have a lot of people around me everyday and I like to talk with them in normal situations (kitchen, chill room).

What would you talk about with Donald Trump for 2 minutes and using Small Talk skills?
Hmmm, I don't know anything about Donald Trump but weather is always good start :P I hope that he is very talkative!
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
I think my skills in Small Talk are ok but the quality of such conversation depends on many factors: with whom I talk, what is the purpose, where, in what language, whether I am in a hurry or not.
I would ask him whether he is really building the Trump Tower in Batumi (Georgia) or it is our government behind that?
Thanks, for this great article, it was a very interesting topic. It's nice to know when people care about such small aspects of our life. Small Talk it`s not my best. I'm chatty, but also a good listener. And the topic of a Small Talk can be founded. But I freely support the conversation on any topic. So, it's difficult for me to determine the boundaries of etiquette in such conversations. I don't want to talk to Donald Trump, even for two minutes. It`s a very stressful situation, you need to observe etiquette and at least a little, understand politics. I know that he is the president of the United States of America and that's all.
I think I am pretty good in small talk but it is not an easy task. When you completely don't know the person you're talking to and it would be weird if you won't. Everyone has at least couple of situations when the silence was overwhelming and you wish that this elevator could go a bit faster.
I think you need to learn skills in small talk by gaining experience in this area, it cannot be learnt from the books. Well I do not know politics at all so that would be awkard meeting but I would probably ask him how he achieve this success, and things about living in whiote house thats all.
Unknown said…
1. How can you assess your skills in Small Talk?
I think my small talk skills are quite good, because I’m a talkative person. Of course it mainly depends with who you are having conversation. With some people it’s very easy to communite, with others it goes harder due to lack of initiative on their part.
2. What would you talk about with Donald Trump for 2 minutes and using Small Talk skills?
I would ask him what is for him the biggest advantage of being US president and after just react depending on his answer
Bartosz Łyżwa said…
I'm not good in small talking but i suppose it's very important skill for kind of person who's working with people. It's hard to ask something or start little conversation - not to hard but interesting. What would I talk about with Donald Trump? It's hard but I think I would ask about his campaign...
Unknown said…
I think that I am quite good in 'small talks'. Maybe because I am self confident person and I am not afraid of other people so it is easy for me to start a conversation even about some simple topics like weather. Sometimes such conversation is hard and I have to think what to say next but it depends from person who I am talk with.

I was on the first Donald Trump's speech in the Europe which was in the Warsaw. If I had a opportunity to talk with him I would do this without big troubles.
Unknown said…
1. How can you assess your skills in Small Talk?
I like small talks and I feel pretty comfortable with them. There is also one, crucial factor you didn't mention in your presentation - a smile, because sometimes it is a key to everything.

2. What would you talk about with Donald Trump for 2 minutes and using Small Talk skills?
I think I'd go with tons of quick and easy questions about his job and how is it to be the most important person in the world. I would also wait patiently for him to initiate the contact and start conversation.
Unknown said…
That was interesting, thanks!

I think I'm kinda good in small-talk. Overall, I think I'm a very talkative person(not in a negative way) and I know how to talk with people. There were many situations in my life, where my friends were telling me, that it's hard to talk with this or that person, but there wasn't any problem for me at all. What's more - I felt, that this conversation was "comfortable" for that specific person.

Maybe I'd ask him how "small" his father's loan was? ;)
Kristina Moroz said…
Small-talks is like talking about weather. But sometimes people could say something useful if you'll try to listen them.
I don't know if I good in small-talks you should ask my interlocutors :)
I am not interesting in talking with him. His actions speaks louder them himself.
Unknown said…
I think I'm a good small-talker but in Poland it's in many cases hard because most of people are aliens and they are constantly sad...
For example in USA, you go to shop, you are welcomed by "HELLO, HOW ARE YOU MY FRIEND?" and you can talk for a while about anything but in Poland...
If I have a chance to talk to Mr. Trump I would ask about his wealth and how he become such a successful businessman.
Illia Lukisha said…
1. How can you assess your skills in Small Talk?
For me the main component of small-talk is sincerity. Because when you do that just to make someone like you, it looks feignedly, so better just say hi, then begin a useless conversation.

2. What would you talk about with Donald Trump for 2 minutes and using Small Talk skills?
Maybe I will ask him for plans on a weekend, because this question makes him to share some intimate things, instead of standard well rehearsed answer.
Unknown said…
Finally the topic that I'm genuine intrested in!
Hmm.. in a nutshell - I'm still in development phase ;)
I consider myself pretty good in this area, I can make people intrested in our conversation, I've been practising that since I remeber. For more or less 3 yers consciously for sure.
Approaching and talking to people is amazing, and gives me incredible satisfaction. I believe that well played small talk can lead You to something big, something great - the key is to stay humble and listen to person that You're talking to.

If I had the opportunity to talk to Donald Trump, I would congratulate him on his success. Maybe my opinions and ideas are not the same, maybe his view is totally diffrent than mine, but I would tell him that I admire his determination. I would also ask about his point of view about success, and how to start acting. You can say whatever You want, but he's the president of US, I belive he work hard to get his position.
Cecylia said…
I think that i am definitely not a small talk person . I don't feel sure about my self because sometimes and i would say more often i speak in a bad way . i mean that i m not able to ask logical stuff because i m bilingual and my sentences are often illogical . so starting a small talk is for me an insecurity and i don't know with what a would start. If would start a small talk with Donald trump it would be "how is he , does he feel good and what are his plans for the day " just a casual american questions that everybody ask each others.

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