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Week 5 [30.03-05.04.20] 10 ways to have a better conversation


"Listen to understand and speak to be understood."
I consider communication as very important everywhere and with everyone in our lives, so I want to invite you all to watch below video:




Questions:
  1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
  2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
  3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?

Comments

Olga Przytula said…
1. I do think that the most important thing in having a good quality conversation is eye constant and listening to each other. It’s so simple, but people tend to forget or ignore this part of interaction.

2. I think that the advice to stop multitasking during the conversation is one of the most if not the most vital advice you can find. We tend to let thoughts drift away or have hard time focusing. But if someone is important to us, it shouldn’t be difficult to genuinely pay attention to them. On of my friends has this awful habit of replying to others while we are talking and it is something I truly hate and used to fight before. As she is irreformable, I don’t see a point in talking to her about that over and over again, so I just gave up. The result is I don’t tell her a much as I used to.

3. People tend to message each other a lot of quick, short messages like: “Hey, are you there?”, “I need help with [something]”. It destroys the focus and interrupts the work. I wish people could vocalize their case in one message instead of series of distracting short ones.
Interesting presentation. Answering your questions:

1. I think that a perfect conversation between two people is one in which each of them shows interest. That is, listening, not interrupting the speaker, maintaining eye contact, and above all not distracting - do not play with e.g. arms or legs.

2. Doing a lot of things is definitely unprofessional for the caller. I think this is showing disrespect for another person.

3. Communication is a difficult thing. At work, at the university, in the club - everything looks different and everything depends on the people participating in this conversation. I think that we need to adapt to a particular style - there is no specific recipe for everything.
Viktor Ryś said…
1.
A perfect conversation is when two people want to listen deeply to what each other says. Listening is very important and shows the respect for the person we are talking to. Many times we have a handful ideas what to say next even though the person we are talking too hasn't finished their sentence, that's wrong.

2.
Probably multitasking when speaking, it is sometimes necessary, but often we should
give the full attention to the person we're talking to.

3.
Proper communication is very difficult for a lot of us, and would make our work and relationships much better. Many times in my workplace I did something wrong because there was some unknown factor that was obvious to the speaker and a lot of time was wasted. So people should strive to be more mindfull about the way they tell information.
Bartosz Barnat said…
1. Well I think the most important is other person interest. Someone should want to talk to you. They need to stop thinking about themselvels and listen to the person they are talking to.

2. To be honest there are a lot of tips presented by her that I agree with but I guess the one that I see the most in conversations is the first one. People are only 50% into a conversation, they are always thinking about something else and this is really discouraging.

3. I really like speaking to my friends from work and school and I don't really see people that I don't want to talk to. I guess I'm just lucky.
Anastasiia Bida said…
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
I will agree here with the speaker. I also think that the most important thing about a perfect conversation is to listen to your interlocutor. In this way, you show your interest in another person and he or she will be more open to you. Listening is the most important skill.

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
As I mentioned in the first answer, I agree mostly with the ability to listen to interlocutors and to show your interest in the conversation. Other tips were also very useful, for example, don`t multitask and pay attention to the person you are talking with.

3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
Firstly, I am more introvert and it is can be very hard for me to begin the conversation with unfamiliar people. Secondly, I don`t like to speak a lot, I listen more and sometimes I get bored with it and I become inattentive. I would like to change these two things.
Agnieszka Duda said…
1. To me, a perfect conversation leaves the participants with the feeling that they got the opportunity to speak their minds. We are all quite selfish and tend to care more about giving arguments than listening to them.

2. I don't quite agree with rule no. 1 - sometimes it’s necessary to multitask. If someone is dragging a conversation for too long, it may be necessary to keep your mind busy with something else. I think every single one of us had a chance to be a part of such conversation and can more or less agree.

3. In my job, I noticed that people like more to talk about problems than to solve them. Rule no. 7 is very important for productivity reasons. Don’t waste your and your coworkers' time and energy saying what has already been said.
Andrzej Kawiak said…
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
In professional terms, conversation is a very active process of responding to the whole message. Conversation is an intentional, purposeful activity. The art of conversation is the three basic, but also the most important elements of success: asking questions, active listening and disclosing information.
Asking questions - the secret of conducting an interesting conversation is to satisfy curiosity and to ask questions to which we want to get answers. The most important principle of a successful dialogue is healthy curiosity and full interest in the interlocutor's wells. Remember - people love to talk about themselves.
Active listening - focus on the sentences you say, try to understand the message. By listening you are able to encourage your interlocutor to continue to reveal yourself.
Disclosure of information - a condition for building closeness in a relationship is to open yourself up to your conversation partner. The key to building a deep relationship is to share information.

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
I think that apart from the advice mentioned above, it is important in communication to be open to different points of view. It is important to be honest with yourself, with other people and to be present in the conversation, that is, to listen to what others have to say and not think about something else during the conversation.

3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improv

At work, I only talk if someone wants something from me or if I want something. Talking is only about work. I try not to have a close relationship with my co-workers.
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
In my opinion, the most important thing in a conversation is showing respect to your partner. Just listen and do not interrupt while the other person is speaking. Even if the interlocutors have different views, they should not deny the statements of others, but try to present the situation from their perspective.

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?

First of all, I agree that listening is more valuable than speaking. Often, however, I sometimes ask a question and then interrupt someone's statement. And later I regret because not allowing to finish the answer there is no way to find out everything the interlocutor knows about a given topic.

3.What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?

As I mentioned above, I should listen more than talk, especially when I want to learn something from more experienced colleagues. On the other hand, I have difficulties in asking questions - I'm ashamed to admit that I don't know something.
Yuliia Sauliak said…
What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
I agree with a host from the video that listening is a very important tool for a conversation. I would say from my personal experience that the most important is the lack of critcism and flattering and more listening than talking, then it might be perfect.
With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
I agree the most about conversation being short. That is really important, especially if one of you is not really interested in the topic, but is quite polite to listen you out. I didn`t find any point, which I would disagree about, all of this speech seems to be rational for me and constructive.
What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I try to communicate mostly with people I like and comfortable with. I would say it is rather difficult for me to keep in touch with someone not really pleasant or someone I strongly disagree with.
I have few friends from the university with whom I have very good relationships, less from work. I would improve the way we communicate: it is rather talk on the subject, than a friendly conversation, I can feel the distance wich is kept when we speak.
Thanks for sharing this video. I learned a lot from it.

1. I think that the first thing is to have a willingness to have a conversation with another person. If you or the other person don't want to talk, it is better to stay quiet.

2. Listening to the second person is what I agree with the most. Some time ago I thought about the way I talk with other people and I noticed, that it is more important to learn something from another person, than to share your personal opinion. And I liked what the presenter told: If you want to express your opinion, write a blog :)

3. I don't like it when people mention too many details. I don't care about the names of people the person met 5 years ago and I probably won't ever meet! Another thing is what I already said in an answer for 2nd question - listening. People try to say, but don't try to listen. Also people tend to repeat information that is simply false. And this is not limited to having talks only based on statistics, facts. We should differentiate facts from opinions and don't let the other side wonder if we know something, or we just suspect that it is like I say.
MichalB said…
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?

Understanding. Understanding is the most important element of a perfect conversation. It's important that one side understands the other. Because if both speak and neither listens, there's no quality in talking and communicating. Almost like in parliament. Everything says nobody listens :-D

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?

Listening to the other person. In my opinion, it's the most important advice. People tend, for example, to interrupt another person's speech during the interview and convince them of their opinion. This can be seen in the pre-election debates.

3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?

I think that it's not bad in the scientific community. At work ... here it's different. Globally, I notice at work that people aren'tt listening. You say one, they do the other because they think they know better. It's getting worse with age. Everyone thinks he's smarter than the other. I don't know how to improve it. If I knew I would be a millionaire by now.
1.What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
Listening and focus. I found myself having many conversations that later I didn't remember some important details because I wasn't fully focused.
2.With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
I mostly agree with the listening. It is the most important detail. I don't agree with summaryzing what other person said. It's something bad in my opinion.
3.What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I would like to speak more with other people from work/study, usually these are just small talks and we never have a chance to trully learn something about ourselves.
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Andrzej,
It is very interesting what you are saying about conversation with other people in your work environment. Could you elaborate more why you do not try to have a close relationship with my co-workers?
Do you have the same attitude when it comes to relationships with your co-students at Uni?
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Agnieszka,
I totally agree with you when it comes to problems. People love to talk about them... Personally I cannot make close relationships with people who complain all the time - they make me tired.. ;(
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Anastasiia,
People are different and not everyone needs to talk all the time :) so maybe there is no need to change things you mentioned? If you feel with yourself fine, is there any point?
What do you think?
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Bartosz,
Good for you when it comes to your easiness while making new friends :) You are totally lucky, because in my case: everywhere are people that love complaining all the time - I just can't stand with these kind of situations and avoid them - so I am not able to want to talk to everyone - but you are able and you are lucky though.
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Victor,
Thank you for your answer!
"Multitasking when speaking, it is sometimes necessary, but often we should give the full attention to the person we're talking to. "
I totally agree with you and for me is the same. I hate while people are doing thousands different thinks while speaking to me...
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Michal,
Yeeees, that is totally true that at work(and only there) people aren't listening and just want to share their opinion as they think they know everything better. Sometimes I don't know how to say them that are not right. It is very hard, but it is needed.
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Bohdan,
Open-ended question - that's the clue! It always works. At least in my case :)
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Olga,
You are right when it comes to disturbing, short messages. What is more, asking question at the office.. It is totally interrupting while other people try to focus on their work. Nowadays, while I am working from home, I don't have this problem because I can unable push notifications and check message app only when I have brak from doing specific task. That is one advantage while staying at home!
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Igor,
Your are right that there is no specific recipe for everything - but I wanted you to describe one specific environment and tell what would you improve? :)
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Mikołaj,
Yes, from small talks it hard to truly learn something about ourselves. But how about organizing social meeting when you can get to know each other better? Even online video conference nowadays while staying at home..
What do you thin about this idea?
What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
As said in the talk listening and beeing present. I couldnt agree more with that.

With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
I agree with i think everything in that video. Listening, beeing present and beeing able to concentrate and understand what the other person is talking to you are essentials of what i wanted to hear in this topic.

What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I have this bad habbit of replying for bad emotions with bad emotions. As said in the video if someone is having bad time at work i answer with the time i also had bad times in the work. Now i know not to do that in the future.
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Marcin,
I am very happy that you learnt a lot! That was the plan :)
I share your opinion that "people try to say, but don't try to listen. Also people tend to repeat information that is false." I do not know why, but people like to tell things they seem to know or heard.
If am not sure why, I am always checking facts with some trustful sources to not spread a rumor which is repeated further...
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Filip,
I am happy that you learnt something from this video and want to implement in your life. I totally agree that is very bad habit of replying for bad emotions with bad emotions...
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Ada,
I totally agree with you that interrupting is very naughty habit. I hate it, but probably I also do it sometimes when emotions prevail...
When it comes to asking questions I think it is hard to know everything so it is obvious that something is unknown for some people while others can know it. Finally after getting answer we are reacher in this knowledge, so it better for us :)
Aneta Artych said…
Hi Yuliia,
Have you ever thought about it why we usually have less friends from work than from uni? That can be very weird since we are spending much more time at work..
What do you think about it?
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
I think the most important thing in a perfect conversation is to listen to each other. We need to be in this conversation and don’t thinking about next question or another topic when another people talk to us. When we are concentrated on conversation we can ask questions about topic and our meeting could be better and longer. We can learn something new from each other.

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
I most agree with tip 9. We need to listen to each other. I think its the most important tip. I know sometimes our concentration is lower but we need to focus on our conversation. From each conversation we can learn something new. I agree with all tips presented in this video.

3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I think our communication in work is good. We understand each other and try to listen to when someone talk to us. Sometimes are situations when someone comes to work and start talking and interrupt another conversation. This we need to change and try to not interrupt but listen to and in good moment join to conversation or ask for permission to join.
1 / People like to talk about themselves, about their plans, about episodes from their lives and about their experience, which they are happy to share. In a conversation you need to know when to shut up, listen, and when to say something or ask an appropriate question.
2 / I think it’s an idea to try to finish the interlocutor’s thought, because you know what he will say next, or cut him short.
3 / In order to convey my thoughts, draw conclusions or lead my interlocutor to some thoughts, I think that I need more practice in communication and language.
Unknown said…
1. In my opinion there is only one way. There need to be some well known conversator. 2. I can agree with bad influence of multitasking for conversation. If we dont respect others and don't listen to them there is no way to understand each other. 3. Nowadays people don't appreciate other peoples in conversation. Many years ago it was harder to communicate with someone. No we can call on the other end of the world and talk with anyone we want.
Maciej Górczak said…
What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
Eye contact. Without it I do not feel like the person I am talking with is engaged in our talk. If you're not paying attention, then why are we having this conversation?

With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
Everyone you will ever met, knows something you don't - this is the best sentence I have heard as I was young. That is why you shouldn't rate others basing on the first sight. Have an open mind and let someone tell you his/her's story. That is why we invented languages, to communicate with each other.

What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I think I should talk with them more often. I am always putting a thin red line between my personal and professional life. Other than this, nothing.
Bartosz Warda said…
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?

A perfect conversation is when the other person can listen. Both people must be interested in the topic. Respect for the interlocutor is also needed. Nowadays, people talk less and write more. Honesty and openness.

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?

I think listening is the most important thing. It is also important for the other person to know that you are present in the conversation and not in a completely different place with your thoughts.

3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?

I think that I am surrounded by people with whom I have the easiness of making and conducting conversations. I wouldn't improve anything because I'm getting along great.
Aneta Artych said…
Hi,
I am happy that you agree with all tips presented in this video. When it comes to situations with interrupting - I think we most of us faced it very often. I am not sure how to change it but this problem exists in a lot of companies and other environments.
Aneta Artych said…
Hi,
Thank you for your comment.
Roman Burlaka said…
1. I think the most important thing in a conversation is realizing that it is a conversation, not a battle and not a podium. Like it has been mentioned in the video, that you should try to understand, not to reply, pay attention, etc.

2. I agree most with the first one. If you don't want to have a conversation - stop it, you should not be in it on a half. All or nothing, something like that. And of course, all that stuff during a talk like internet surfing can be irritating for your friends.

3. Everything is good okay. Always there are people you can talk with about different subjects and always there is someone whose life is more interesting that those different subjects. But it's okay if you can use the rule from the second answer.
Aneta Artych said…
Hi,
Yes, I agree that nowadays it is much easier to call someone even he/she is on the other end of the world. But on the other hand, technology is so developed that people communicate with each other by short messages or emoticons and the level of understanding depends on the level of mind-set. That causes it can be even harder for proper conversation...
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
I think the topic of the conversation must be first interesting for both parties and then to listen to each other.
2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
I agree with all of the tips she gave but mostly the number 10 (be brief), because I know how hard it is to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t go straight to the point or who talks for a long time.
3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I think I should improve on being in the conversation and not think about other things or doing other things when I'm talking to someone.
1. Letting other people speak. Most people prefer to speak than to listen, I've experienced it, the video confirmed it. It frustrates me when people raise their voice to hold their monologue, asking questions and answering them themselves.

2. People listen to answer not to understand is exactly what happens in most of the conversations those days. We feel pressure to be seen and heard, trying to stay on top of the conversation rather than to learn from it. The tip about learning to listen is, in my opinion, the most important one.

3. As I said before, we need to change our attitude towards conversations. We shouldn't engage the conversation just to state what's already on our mind but rather discuss unexplored topics and draw conclusions. It would be great if we stop competing with each other and just listen and react calmly even if we don't agree with something.
Angelika Dutt said…
1. In my opinion, the best conversation is to keep eye contact, because it's very difficult to talk without it. In addition, you can't shout, because you're less well understood and you're putting the wrong tone into the conversation. You have to make your arguments clear.

2. I think that the most important thing is to focus 100% on the conversation, the division of attention to different things makes our conversation partner feel unimportant and does not allow us to create the best statements.

3. I think I'd focus on face-to-face communion. Unfortunately, most things are now done over the Internet, which very often leads to miscommunication and lack of understanding. I can see that the ability to talk is disappearing and it's becoming more and more difficult for us to talk to each other.
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
Always try to think positive about what other person is saying. Try to be interested in a topic that the person is reffering to even if at first it doesn't concern you the most.
2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
Focusing on a conversation and the person you talk with is probably the most important thing mentioned in the video.
3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I think people should communicate less through the internet and rather go out and speak face to face. Nowadays people seem to spend too much time in front of computer monitors rather than reaching out to people in real life.
1. I think the most important thing to have a good conversation is to listen to your opponent and maintain the topic of conversation. Moreover it is iportant to have eye contact, friendly mood and smile)

2. I think all advices she gave are good but one I like most is "Everybody is an expert in something". During the conversation we should assume that we have something to learn. I think the main idea of conversation is exchanging knowledge.

3. Yes definetly I would like to improve it. I am quite introvert person but when I arrived to Warsaw I realised that being communicative and interesting is very important.
Klaudia Kozioł said…
1. I think that the most important thing to have a prefect conversation is to listen each other and to respect the person we are talking to and what this person has to say.

2. I can agree with every tip from the video, but mostly with the first one “don’t multitask” because I think that it is common mistaken, we get so easily distracted by our phones or people that surround us that sometimes we stop paying attention at all to people we are currently with at the moment.

3. I think that there is always something that we can improve in ourselves and even though I find myself as a good communicator with other people I would improve my discussion “skills” and how to express my arguments better.
1. Very interesting, informative and so important material these days. I agree with the statement contained in the material, i.e. with the 9th principle that the most important is the ability to listen. It is very difficult, because we always want to be in the center of attention and interest, not our interlocutor, but when I teach it, conversation becomes much better.
2. As I pointed out above, I agree with all the principles indicated in the material, but the most with principle No. 9. I also really liked the comparison regarding rule No. 10, which means " A good conversation is like miniskirt; short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject.” So simple and so wise.
3. When it comes to conversations in the workplace, it depends on your character and personality. Some cannot work without talking and others cannot focus when someone is talking. Therefore, it is hard to talk about improving the quality of the conversation or conversation at all. It all depends on the place and circumstances in which we find ourselves. Certainly on neutral ground, every conversation will be better. Regardless of everything, we should respect and listen to each other.
Aleksander said…
1. Empathy and listen to others. T always works.
2. I agree with most of them except talking about details. Sometimes it’s necessary to be very detailed. For that point, I don't see that advice as universal. Another one is the opinion that we always can learn from someone- I would say that we always can spend our time in any way- on us depends if we will gain more from a conversation by talking with a wise people, or we would not because we will think that we always can learn something from anybody.
3. Nowadays too many people talks via SMS/phone/chats. I see a global need to come back to face to face conversations. Each and every time I’m at a conference, I do see, how hard it is to make people stay focused o the topic of a presentation/conversation, etc.
1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
In my opinion, the most important thing about a perfect conversation is being open-minded. Without it, it's really easy to argue.

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
I most agree with tip number 9. It's really important to pay attention what each other have to say and listen carefully. Misunderstanding is a huge enemy of good conversations and relationships.

3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I think communication with other people in my study environment or friends is pretty good and I wouldn't improve it, becouse there is nothing to imptove. But communication with my family is really hard and I can't do anything with it, becouse my parents are narrow-minded and they think only their opinion is important, so if I have other point of view I can even discuss with them, because they always start an argument.
lukaszK said…


1. What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
Very simple - cut anti-vaccines people out of your life.

2. With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?

I agree that people don’t listen each other. You can observre that everywhere.
I don’t agree with that everybody has some hidden amazing thing about them.


3. What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?

It's ok. Maybe more metings outside the job.

In my opinion, two people who are properly prepared and have a common topic on which they know must have a perfect conversation. I think the first tip sounds good and you can agree with it. I can't tell which clue might be wrong, so I won't show any.
People at work / school should talk about things other than work / school whenever possible. Then the conversation can certainly be more pleasant than touching standard and tiresome topics.
What do you think is the most important thing about a perfect conversation?
If people are committed to the conversation, a good topic and that conversing people don't make it about themselves. The atmosphere of respect is also an important factor.
With which tip from the video do you agree/disagree most and why?
That multitasking is a bad thing. We are surprisingly bad at this, and no one can really do multitasking - it always means that we will perform worse at those tasks. Nobody likes to be ignored too. I disagree that details don't matter - it depends on the context. On a more expert level on a certain topic, details can be really interesting and insightful - however, I agree that in daily conversations it's a bad idea.
What do you think about communications with other people in your work/study environment? What would you improve?
I enjoy conversing with other students and colleagues from work. The conversations are interesting, however, they are maybe a little too often about the IT. I think I have a lot of space to improve - especially I should be more understanding when I am encountering someone with totally different beliefs.

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