Awkward situations happen to us all the time. Most of the times those situations are disturbing, no matter if you are the person who is awkward or you happen to be in an awkward situation created by some other individual. Some situations that we find extremely awkward can stay in our memory for a really long time. What's more, we may have flashbacks of those situations, for example just before we fall asleep, which makes you very uncomfortable and cringy.
I invite you to watch the video below about awkwardness and science behind it.
Questions:
1. How often do you find yourself in an awkward situation?
2. How do you cope with awkwardness?
3. Have you ever experienced 'vicarious embarrassment'? If so, how did you feel about it?
I invite you to watch the video below about awkwardness and science behind it.
Questions:
1. How often do you find yourself in an awkward situation?
2. How do you cope with awkwardness?
3. Have you ever experienced 'vicarious embarrassment'? If so, how did you feel about it?
Comments
In my opinion, the best way to be awkward is to turn the situation into a joke or do something that makes people forget about that and pay attention to it.
Many times in my life I am ashamed of other people, mainly when they leave garbage on the grass. In such situations, I am sorry that the powerful and great human race are simpletons.
Now i don't think that much about it. I've realized that if i can't change it i shouldn't feel bad about it. If it is my fault then i simply should apologize but defenitely best way is just moving on. Realisation that it is something that happens to everyone makes it easier.
I have. Usually i am like "oh no, why did you do that? come on!". But it usually makes ma laugh and i don't care much about it.
It's hard for me to determine how often awkward situations happen to me. They just happen to me. I think every person is put in an awkward average situation several times a month (2-3). However, it is a random number and independent of us. The very essence of awkward mutations is that they are unexpected and unheard of.
2. How do you cope with awkwardness?
Most often I just try to pretend it wasn't. I guess that makes me not enter into unnecessary discussions and reduces tension. At least it doesn't intensify it. Sometimes I just try to smile. A smile always makes all bad emotions fall or their degree decreases.
3. Have you ever experienced 'vicarious embarrassment'? If so, how did you feel about it?
Of course, I experienced a "substitute shame". In situations like above, I smile, I'm sorry. Sometimes he tries to make it a joke.
It is quite hard to determine, just like no one likes awkwardness, so that no one would like to remember such awkward moments, if the most normal awkward situation counts too, then I guess it is once a week or two weeks.
2. How do you cope with awkwardness?
Well, I don't have any special approach, I can just let it go with time, because the more I think about it, the more nervous I will be, at least it is my case.
3. Have you ever experienced 'vicarious embarrassment'? If so, how did you feel about it?
Yes, when I was watching TV with family, and the people were kissing awkwardly on the TV, in such moment I feel so awkward in the house with my family...kidding haha, sometimes if my friend was in awkward situation, I would feel awkward for him too, and then I would try to save him from awkwardness.
Sometimes I do find myself in awkward situations, but I try to avoid them, because, like everyone, I don’t like them. Unfortunately they’re inevitable.
2. How do you cope with awkwardness?
When I feel awkward I try to solve the problem or whatever that triggered that awkwardness. Sometimes I also try to make a joke out of it in order to release the tension and emotions.
3. Have you ever experienced 'vicarious embarrassment'? If so, how did you feel about it?
I’ve experienced ‘vicarious embarrassment’ many times. I usually laugh or smile, but I try and make sure other people don’t see it. Sometimes I also try to find a distraction to keep my mind occupied.
2. It strongly depends on the context – people, your familiarity with them, atmosphere, the situation itself. Sometimes it is appropriate to make fun of the situation – it can turn the unpleasant situation into the event that can brighten up the atmosphere. Sometimes it is better to pretend the situation didn’t happen and if the people are nice, they will do the same. So, as I said, context is important.
3. Oh, hell yes, all the time. Usually it’s funny when you watch a video of someone on the Internet but there is a limit of how much I can take it. That is the reason why I can’t watch the comedy series “The Office”.
If I took into considerations any level of awkwardness I would say that it happens to me quite often, regularly actually. The lowest awkwardness level situatuons like elevator trip with strangers, having a small talk with almost unknown person in office happen on daily basis. But if it comes to hugely awkward situations I almost do not experience them at all.
2. How do you cope with awkwardness?
I just happen to forget it after a while when the awkward situation was a minor one. But if the awkwardness reached really high level I tend to recall it at the least expected moments, like when commuting or right before falling asleep. Time just somehow heals these wounds and eventually it just gets funny rather than cringe.
3. Have you ever experienced 'vicarious embarrassment'? If so, how did you feel about it?
I really hate this feeling. It is equally awkward as a regular embarassment. Unfortunately I experience it quite often on the streets as well as in movies and tv series. Those are the main sources I guess.
2. I try to act naturally, not giving a sign that i am in an awkward situation. It's often very difficult to cope with that in a real life situation.
3. No, I don't think I experienced that. But if I would experience that, I would propably ignore it in most of the situations
Well, most likely not very often. I’m not the most talkative person, therefore, I often feel awkward silence being alone with someone, especially if this is a person barely known to me.
2. How do you cope with awkwardness?
For the example that I wrote above, then most likely I will try to somehow start a conversation, ask some kind of question.
3. Have you ever experienced 'vicarious embarrassment'? If so, how did you feel about it?
I don’t know, I can’t recall such a case, but sometimes it happens when I watch a movie and the character does something very awkward, I can experience something like that.
2. I know that people don't think about my little mistakes as I do and this makes me less anxious. Besides, when I caught someone doing something silly I tend to pity them rather then laugh at them, what gives me hope that they do too.
3. Yes! There are films that I can't watch because the main character is too socially awkward. One of those characters would be, beloved by everybody, Mr Bean, I can't stand this humour and constant awkwardness. When I can't get away from the situation by simply pressing a button on the remote control I have a different tactic. In my circle of friends, I try to change a topic when I see someone getting embarrassed. It is a simple trick but I hope it helps those involved.
I am definitely experienced vicarious embarrassment but actually, I don't really remember any specific case.
2. I don't. Really. I hate it and almost always just want to disappear rather than face it. It only causes anxiety. I would love to know how to deal with it.
3. It does happen from time to time. It happens mostly when I identify myself somehow with person in extremely awkward situation. I also feel this way when I am for example identified with some group (whether if it's a project or some social group) and some members of it act the way I strongly disapprove. It's even more uncomfortable mostly because I am conscious there is not much I can do to change it. It just happens and I can watch it and feel bad. It also causes many times that people judge me for actions of other members of the group so it's very problematic.
2)Just make it look like everything goes the way it supposed to. If you can't avoid an awkward situation, at least you can enjoy it. And by the way, as bad as being embarrassed might feel, being able to resolve it well is a good way to make friends.
3)Yes, I did. And I dare to say it is much worse than being embarrassed for yourself. At least you can take your own stupidity on and laugh at it. Much harder when it happens due to the actions of the other people.
1. Not as often as I used to. I don't care about it that much anymore as well. When I was younger I would later be nervous about stupid things I said like the day or two before. Nowadays I just don't worry that much about it.
2. I think that I am not finding myself in that many awkward situations but even If I do I don't really worry about it. I think it is caused by the fact that I don't care that much what other people think about me. When I was younger it wasn't like that and probably that is why I was much more nervoused about saying or doing something awkward.
3. Yes I did, usually when watching a movie or TV show.
In my childhood – very often. Just because when I was a little boy, everything that was connected to me, was decided by my parents. The new place to live, new school, new sport section, new teacher … and so on. I could choose nothing, accept what to get on birthday. In that situations I was feeling powerless to change something or just say no. My “no” had no weight, and I obeyingly, with eated opinion, have to do everything, because of shame. How can I don’t go to the teacher of law who was working in Institute of After educational education (where people can get second or third education) as a vice-rector? He agreed to give me some lessons, he found time for it. And doesn`t matter what I`m thinking about it, even if I don’t want to. But such situations will have their consequences in future. Of course, it helped me to pass exams to the law department, but anyway, I left the university after three years studying… Why? I have understood that I don’t want to take part in this circus in future. Where people are just playing with others and very important thing – ‘justice’. For me it was illogical and not clear, I couldn`t understand that. I have chosen math (nowadays math is informatics), because numbers never lie.
And now I become older, and can easily say ‘no’ for something I don`t like. Now I`m here, it was my decision, and I know what I want from this situation. There are no awkward situations in my life. Because I clearly know what I want or don’t want from any situation, I can explain it to myself and to others. So, for me it isn’t an awkward situation…
2) How do you cope with awkwardness?
As I said, for me it isn`t an awkwardness, just a situation, when I know why I choose it.
The way of coping, depends on people that are in situation with me. If they are close to me (relatives or friends), I will explain every thing what I`m thinking. But not in judging or giving advise way. Who am I to judge or say for anyone what to do or how to do? I just explaining that situation in way, where the person can take the conclusions by himself and decide by himself how to proceed. And if it is a person, that is unfamiliar to me, I will just keep all my thoughts in my mind and will just watch on that situation until I will be bored, then I will just “fly away” and get back when the situation will end. It is stupid to speak to people that don’t listen, they just can`t hear you. And why I should spend my energy, I know what to do with it)..
3) Have you ever experienced ‘vicarious embarrassment’? If so, how do you feel about it?
Yes. I have described it above. It is the most awful feeling for me. When you should to put your real opinion or feeling deeply inside and just pretend that everything is okay. Or to feel the shame about anyone. I just stop such situations and go away without explanation. As I said – if people don’t want to listen, they will not hear. And I am the smith of my life, I will do what I decide to do, not anyone for me.