Week 7 [14.05-20.05.2018] How to get your s**t together, and raise your standards – become a better person in general.
What I’m about to write in this article could look like some kind of clichés – you can say that, because it’s XXI century – a great era of personal development. YouTube, Facebook or Instagram are the power of this movement – I’m not saying that they’re bad and we should create a new trend that overthrows them, but it’s worth considering all different perspective, and above all – yours, remember, it’s your life and only you can change it. Before we get started, I’d like to admit that each of the points you will learn in a moment is based on my own experience and is suited to my lifestyle, personality and behaviour. Without any further ado - let's get started!
Start with yourself it
sounds obvious, but look at this from your perspective – if You see someone who
doesn’t bother to take care of their looks – neglected appearance, silhouette,
hair, beard, clothes, smell, breath - do you really think that somewhere in
there is something special to offer? In my opinion, first impression matters – we
make opinions about other people in more or less 30 seconds, there is no chance
that you can say something brilliant enough to attract them. I'm not saying
that you have to look like a Greek god or the cover guy/girl from magazines -
be yourself, but well groomed - create your own style.
Before I start to guide you step by step, I would like to introduce to you a simple “law of magnetism”, taken from John C. Maxwell - "We attract who we are, not who we want" - I will dive deeper to that later.
Now, ask yourself -
what kind of people you are looking for in your life, what kind of man/woman do
you want – are you interested in him/her as a neglected nerd, that eats junky
food all the time, only plays video games that don’t lead to anything? Or maybe,
you’re looking for a person with aspirations, ideas for life, unusual
interests? This is just an extreme example, but now stop for a moment, think
about the qualities that you value in other people, about their appearance and
people who are around them. If you have a slight idea about them, then we can
start.
Appearance:
Body - let's start with the basics, healthy nutrition - a lot to say, but in a nutshell, eat clean, so your body feels good and healthy. You don’t need to stick to the strict diet - eat healthy, use your brain and remember, from one fast food nobody died ;)
Body - let's start with the basics, healthy nutrition - a lot to say, but in a nutshell, eat clean, so your body feels good and healthy. You don’t need to stick to the strict diet - eat healthy, use your brain and remember, from one fast food nobody died ;)
Ok, we already covered
the body, it’s time for details. Take
care of a neat appearance - choose the right hairstyle (and beard),
that fits you. Next step - teeth –
here, it will be hard because it's an expensive thing, but at our stage, you
just have to do regular cleaning and keep fresh breath – it’s more important
that you think, no one likes to stand near (or talk to!) a person who hasn’t
seen a toothbrush for a week.
Skin – with clean food, comes clean skin. But you might consider washing your face a couple of times a day, just to get rid of dirt and bacteria – keep it clean, you want to be fresh, it’s just a minute from 24 hours, c’mon. Smell – choose the right perfume – everybody likes a good pair of perfume ;)
And if you think that all of the points that I just mentioned make you gay, think again – they make you a tidy and well-groomed man/woman.
Okay, you've taken care of your body - what's next? Style.
Skin – with clean food, comes clean skin. But you might consider washing your face a couple of times a day, just to get rid of dirt and bacteria – keep it clean, you want to be fresh, it’s just a minute from 24 hours, c’mon. Smell – choose the right perfume – everybody likes a good pair of perfume ;)
And if you think that all of the points that I just mentioned make you gay, think again – they make you a tidy and well-groomed man/woman.
Okay, you've taken care of your body - what's next? Style.
Style is more a personal thing and beliefs, at this
point I’m just gonna go with my own opinion, and you should look at this with
distance. Create your own style, you’re a man/woman, dress like a man/woman and
not like a teenager in strange T-shirts - I do not say immediately that they
are not cool, they are just childish. As I said before, dress like you want
other people to look at you – they can say what kind of person you are in a
couple of seconds. If you don’t want to make your life difficult, and I bet you
want a head start – work on your style. Find style that you find attractive,
get inspired by popular people / fashion accounts on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest
or Youtube. But most importantly - keep your clothes fresh and tailored to you
posture – that’s it. I’ll not dive deeper in this topic, as I said, it’s your
style, as long as you feel good, everybody will feel good near you ;)
Personality:
This is even more personal than a style – but there are some kind of rules and basic paths that you should follow. So, find something interesting that you like and stick to it - do not hide it. As long as are talking with passion about it, it’ll be interesting. That’s it. You can even collect stamps, but be passion about it. A little tip from me – be positive, that helps a lot. People like positive attitude in general, they don’t want to spend their time in a negative environment – make them addicted to you and your way of being ;)
I believe that if you’re good to people, they’ll be good to you – because why not? Be the person that you want to meet, remember that not everybody likes you, like you want them to, and that’s fine, there are plenty of people to meet. Just be yourself, or maybe – the best version of yourself, like I’d like to say ;)
Personality:
This is even more personal than a style – but there are some kind of rules and basic paths that you should follow. So, find something interesting that you like and stick to it - do not hide it. As long as are talking with passion about it, it’ll be interesting. That’s it. You can even collect stamps, but be passion about it. A little tip from me – be positive, that helps a lot. People like positive attitude in general, they don’t want to spend their time in a negative environment – make them addicted to you and your way of being ;)
I believe that if you’re good to people, they’ll be good to you – because why not? Be the person that you want to meet, remember that not everybody likes you, like you want them to, and that’s fine, there are plenty of people to meet. Just be yourself, or maybe – the best version of yourself, like I’d like to say ;)
And last but not least
– stay humble. This is the most important feature in personal
development, you will not get anywhere without it. If You think that you know
something best and that you fully understand it, I already know that you have
lack of humility. As Steve Jobs said, "stay foolish, stay hungry". You have to go deeply into every topic
you start, listen to others, analyse their experiences and try to draw
conclusions from them.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Questions:
1) Do you think that first impression matters?
2) Do you think your looks should bother you?
3) Do you think that after all the effort you put in developing yourself, you become a better person?
Comments
Truly saying I don't know, but most of the time your character is what has the biggest impact on people's opinions about you.
If you put effort into developing good traits of your character then you will become a better version of yourself.
Our look should bother us but in healthy way.
Not always you become a better person because sometimes it doesn't go together but for sure you become more experienced person and it's also good thing.
If I think about my appearance I don't have to worry, of course there are a few things I could change, but maybe one day ;p
I have never thought about effort which put in myself developing to being better. I think, that I can't judge myself.
I think things are evolving. Our attitudes, our dress, our way of life, and the introduction of technology in our lives have evolved. All of this makes every effort to improve our living conditions everyday, which increases our self-esteem and, as a result, our productivity in life.
I think that I may become a better-groomed person, but "better" sounds like a word from a moral plane, and I think looks have little to do with morality, ethics etc. In my opinion person becomes better through helping others, meditation, humbleness, but not necessarily through improving physical appearance.
Should my look bother me? Well, if you live your home at least once in your life than your look should bother you. Of course i don't mean by that spending 3 hours in bathroom just to go to the shop to buy bananas.
I have never thought about effort which I put in self developing. I'm rather sceptical with all that coach-style advices.
You have to be happy with your youth. At the age of 20, you shouldn’t wear a suit to make people look at you and think this guy has good style. It makes me laugh when I'm on my friend's birthday party and someone comes dressed like he was going to a communion.
If we are talking about body than yes. The way how we look show our ability of self-control and hard work. It demonstrates how much effort we put in order to be healthy and it could be translated to every single sphere of our live.
Of course. In order to improve yourself you have to develop some new skills. These skills will most probably help you in some different areas of your life. That’s why I think that we become better people when we want to develop ourselves.
2. Yes, but at the same time most of us exaggerate the impact. Usually it’s enough to look decent and not like hundred million dollar boy/girl.
3. Again yes, everyone should strive towards becoming better person. There are many ways to achieve that and self-development (especially in areas of public speaking and self-confidence) is surely one of the most efficient and useful methods.
Yes, but it works not only by our appearance, but the acts as well. Sometimes even more than the look.
2) Do you think your looks should bother you?
Yes, but there is this unhealthy thought I won't be liked by someone because of my look. And that will be this way, because they like other type of people than me or style I like.
3) Do you think that after all the effort you put in developing yourself, you become a better person?
If you will put a good effort, you will be a much better person, otherwise... You will get opposite effect. It is the way the humanity work.
Why should my looks ever bother me? I didn't ever put much effort into looking good. I only try to stay fresh, clean. To summarize it in one word - average. People should know that our looks are not the most important thing. That is not an excuse for being clean, though.
I think that after all this time I've became a better person for myself. I don't judge myself anymore and live my life more happily than ever before.
It depends on what I want in life. And I highly disagree with phrase that T-shirts is for children simply due to this concept of life-stile "real man" mass media promotes. If that suits you it's fine just calling all people around our childish is not well thought through.
For me better person is a myth. It's just a scale drown by society to measure people. There is no better. If you personally don't like where you are then yes it make sense otherwise if you do it because of low self-esteem for people to like you it would make you more miserable.
2. To a certain point. You shouldn’t be overly self-conscious about it. I personally dress only to look decent. I don’t really want to stand out but even sometimes I’m dress like a slob. When all I care about is comfort and situation permit it.
3. If you have put that effort in the right place in the right way than surely. Even so slightly. I would even say that just by stagnating you become wore person naturally.
Do you think your looks should bother you? No. Not everyone cares about their look.
Do you think that after all the effort you put in developing yourself, you become a better person? I believe so. I try to teach on every mistake I've made and take a lesson from it.
Some people say that first impression is the most important thing when meeting a new person. We are humans and we are judgmental, so the way someone remembers you for the first time may stick for a very long time.
2) Do you think your looks should bother you?
I think it's crucial to feel confident with yourself. You should be bothered with your appearance, but everything should also be bounded within certain healthy limits. Long story short - be yourself and when you're confident about yourself, don't care if someone criticise your look.
3) Do you think that after all the effort you put in developing yourself, you become a better person?
I am convinced that it is true, otherwise what is the point of self-development. We are trying to improve ourselves each and every day and if we are doing it properly, finally we become a better, designated version of ourselves.
2. Yes, of course. There are certainly places where I can put on sports pants and feel comfortable, but in general it's important for me to even wear a sports suit, I had a pleasant smell from my mouth, cut my nails and hair (even if I did not pack it). But I can give you an example: my girlfriend dresses very strangely, I would not even say feminine, she often has a mess on her head and she does not care, until I think about her, it sometimes even seems to me that she specifically wants to push people away from herself. And many people who saw her would have thought that she had nothing to talk about, but this is one of the few women with whom it is very interesting to have a conversation. So the appearance is also deceptive, but the first impression was not canceled.
3. Of course, every day I try to acquire new and useful habits, for example doing sports exercises in the morning. I want that I was the person with whom I think it would be nice to be around and communicate.
2. I think that our physical appearance can tell a lot about our personality, habits and lifestyle. However, I am far from being focused only on how I look as I don’t consider it as the most important thing in my life. I just try to be tidy and stay in shape.
3. I would say it depends whether we invest our time and money in right activities. I think that developing yourself by learning foreign languages and cultures, gaining new professional skills or staying in shape always pay off.
I think that your look shows your personality, so if you don't want to be confused with someone you are not - you should pay attention to your appierence.
From my point of view all the effort you put in developing yourself can make you better sometimes, but quite often you become vain, so it's really fine line between them. One is obvious - you shouln't overdo it.
It depends on a person, if you ask me I'd say that it is not obligatory, but it is always better when it does bother you.
Absolutely, if we can dream it - we can achieve it!. If we want something very much nothing can stop us.
About things that bother me. For me it`s very difficult to make decisions, every single time I not sure about the correctness of the decision I made and that takes a lot of my energy. So I would love to cut down the decisions that need to be made in my life.
I do not think that's what I'm like, it's hard to say something like this, there's always bias here, if I say that "I'm not the worst person" .
I don't know better or not but i would say that everything what i do for developing myself would have come back to my own experience.
Everyone want to be especial, and try to show for us in the better way for example buy stuffs which are brand like Lacosta, Timberland, Sony, at cetera.
So, for me first impression is really important because it's just psychology.
I don't know what do You mean by saing "At the age of 20, you shouldn’t wear a suit" - my freind have 26 suit in his warderobe. He's wearing them daily, to make better and more professional impression on his clients. They want to be associated with that look, maybe they like their style and don't want to change it to look cool in social enviroment - in my opinion that could be mistake(or maybe miss oportunity), but it's their choice - thats why I showed You why first impression matters ;)
2. Yes
3. Yes
Three yes'es from me, thak You!
You've got my point Bro!
2) and thats ok, screw them ;)
3) Yes!
I don't like judging either, but making opinion obout other people is something diffrent. It can tell whether we fit to that person or not. for me first impression is helpful but not always accurate.
1) Yeah, and that could be brutal
2) Well said
3) I would not said it better ;)
1. You're right!
2. It can tell a lot, yes
3. That right ;)
2. I don't know. I think, that people should like you as you are, not when you are trying to be another person.
3. Yes. Everytime when you are doing something for a long time, and you are trying to improve it it's going to give you something possitive in a return.
We should know that a first impression is very, very important. We judge other people because of their appereance, their clothes or they character. It is really hard to change somebody's first impression about us.
2) Do you think your looks should bother you?
I don't think that my looks should bother me. I am not kind of athletic person which eats only gluten-free pastas but in my opinion I look fine.
3) Do you think that after all the effort you put in developing yourself, you become a better person?
I think that developing myself in the science makes me better person because of it I get to have better knowledge about different stuff. Even a sport gives me feel that I developing my body gives me better a better condition and health.
I think that you will become a better human, if you really want it, but i also think that effectiveness matters. If you will become better for 1 year or 10 years, and then you will become worse again, that doesnt mean that your self-development was successful. Simply because long-term result is bad. So i guess in this case you should think more in a long-term perspective
2) Of course. It's connected with this what i write up. I agree with the statement "How they see you, that's how they perceive you". It's goot for everyone to be remebered from this positive way than other.
3) I think that work on yourself have always positive efforts. We only should take care about developing mentally and physically. I think that it's healthy to tace care about yourself in that two ways at the same time.
2. Again - of course it should. For me, your look is your calling card. If you’re looking good - and by looking good I don’t mean expensive clothes - people can think, that you’re exemplary, organised etc.
3. In some way - yes. You know, it’s important to be yourself and stay yourself. I think, that we should „evolve” ourselves rather than change ourselves.
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