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Week 3 [23-29.10.17] How to talk about politics?

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The Christmas holidays are getting closer and so is everlasting tradition of most families:
Everyone happily gathers at the christmas table and cheerfully talks about life, job or new neighbour's car.
Suddenly uncle Janusz mentions something about Law and Justice, and then nightmare begins.
If you have ever experienced such a situation, I'm sure there was a fool or two you couldn't agree with or even you couldn't stand it so much you had to leave a room.

Hopefully there's someone who can help you. Robb Willer, social psychologist, clearly explains how to talk with others about politics, have nice, constructive conversation and educate the uncle.

Hope you like it!


Comments

Unknown said…
This speech is great and it shows how any society may be devided by politicians and their populistic slogans. We even don't suspect that we might be more or less right/left than a person, who directly declares it. And it concerns not only American society, but the problem of political division has recently occurred in Europe as well. We submit to artificial and intentional political slogans, that make us to hate each other. Moreover, it brings contempt to the people of different religions,colour of skin,social status and as a result this political rhetoric persuades us to believe that we're better, special etc.
26 October 2017 at 00:10
Andrii Zinchenko said…
"We are the zombies" - the main words of the speech. Fully agree about that, when we are speaking about politicians and how they are changing our thoughts with lie. Can't say a lot about every country in Europe, but in every 3rd country in the world, society can't find connection and approach to politicians.
Speaking about slogans - they are disgusting, they are making us argue with each other and they are showing, how society can be inadequate when something goes wrong(revolutions,civil wars and etc.)
26 October 2017 at 10:43
Andrzej Niewiadomski said…
Maybe Polsat should air this presentation instead "Home Alone" this year (ok, if someone is somehow not fed up with this movie, they could air it before it)? Talking about politics is really hard, especially with elderly people from Poland which are not always very open to new trends. Also a lot of us think that their choices are the right ones and if someone thinks in other way, he is probably just stupid. Thing that can bring some positive is a fact that young generation thinks other way than our grandparents, so racism and homophobia is very less seen than in older generation. Still talking about politics may bring a lot of hate, especially when you are doing it anonymously via internet. To be fair I can not lump together everybody - I know a lot of people that think in other way then me and still we are able to talk without bile. Hope that one day maybe uncle Janusz will be also able to talk about politics in a way that it is presented in a given TED talk.
26 October 2017 at 16:20
Mieczysław Szumilak said…
Children often take political views from their parents (depends which parent is more influencive). So maybe in a propinquity family, arguing will not occur so often like for example when uncle "Janusz" appear at Christmas table. I'm lucky, because I don't have anyone like uncle "Janusz" in my family. Also I noticed that political views are an unwritten taboo subject during that kind of meetings in my family. But even if someone would come up with a political topic, I don't attach importance in political views on a level when I'm ready to argue about it.
27 October 2017 at 10:48
Unknown said…
I find this speech very interesting and in my opinion it concerns modern society heavily. People should be more focused on new opportunities to improve their political perspective and this can be done by constructive conversation with people who support opposite party. There should be more places or events for this kind of conversations, where everyone can participate and engage. However, there are a lot of people who could take advantage of this ventures and abuse it to release their political tension, so some chairman should be mandatory during these talks. Bringing people closer and helping them to understand differences between each others can make only good things and it also can affect on decreasing civil wars and revolutions. But I think this is just how the government want us to live - in hate to other parties, because it is easier to control the people.
27 October 2017 at 16:43
Unknown said…
Everyone knows that after alcohol everbody knows everything about politics. I feel that for many people politics is hobby. it's all because we can get information about politics very easily now. People talk now about natural disasters that are now bigger than in the past. It's not true they were the same in the past but people didn't know about it. I was wondering why people hate each other becouse of politics. I see it like this, I live , I travel where I want a I do what I want. Political situation changes nothing in my everyday life
27 October 2017 at 17:26
Unknown said…
I hate talking about politics. One thing is when you discuss some issues with someone who has the same opinion as you, but when the conversation becomes an argument, that is totally different thing. People are getting real mad sometimes because of politics, and I am not an exception. In my opinion there is no truly right political way tu rule any country nowadays. All politicians, no matter how they care about their job, are thinking only about themselves and their fame and welfare that could be given to them by their position. People with power will be always using those, who doesn't have or have less power, that's what I think, and all political arguments, that are growing between people are just another tool to rule the masses.
27 October 2017 at 17:43
Unknown said…
I don't like to talk about 'Politics', everyone has an opinion on this topic. Someone thinks that all is well, some not... after a disagreement and contradictions. However, this speech is very good because it touched on all the pros and cons of politicians and suggested a solution.
28 October 2017 at 10:34
Krzysztof Kanigowski said…
Curiously, since all of my family is quite liberal (even my grandparents), it fell on my 25 year old sister to be the voice of disagreement. Not to say that she went right, god forbid. Instead she basically went with "all politicians are corrupt and they all should resign". Unfortunately, as well as that notion resonates with the up in the clouds kind of person she is, it doesn't really provide a realistic solution for the obvious problem corruption in politics.
28 October 2017 at 18:46
Krzysztof Kanigowski said…
It has always baffled me how little do the Law and Order's voters seemed to care about what their elected politicians actually did. It has allowed them to successfully employ the brilliant tactic of "dumb it down, and win be shouting louder", making left wing voters fed up with politics, discouraging them from taking an active part in this country's politics, and in effect making PIS's core voters the majority of people who actually bothered to cast a vote.

It may however be the case of left wing politicians using the argument that only resonate with their own voters. You might think that this kind of empathy would be a key skill for every successful politician, but in truth it's an extremely rare ability to be able to fully put yourself into another person's shoes. Or maybe it's just that they don't care enough.
28 October 2017 at 19:06
Krzysztof Kanigowski said…
where is my edit button?

*win by shouting
*using the arguments resonating only with

28 October 2017 at 19:15
Unknown said…
It's definitely a right way to move. Actually we can expand this to pretty much every human conflict there is. People usually forget that there is always some moral ground behind any reasoning and if you do actually understand what is the values of the person you are talking to there is always a way to find common ground. In fact EI(emotional intelligence) is exactly that - understand another human being. Elevate global level of EI not only drastically change politic systems but the society as a whole.
28 October 2017 at 23:08
Łukasz Domeradzki said…
I agree with many of his arguments, I also believe that we should talk about politics in rather calm atmosphere, without much of negativity that usually comes with that. Thanks for interesting video.
29 October 2017 at 01:54
Maciej Główka said…
Very good talk, I agree with almost all of his arguments. Politics is one of the most important aspects of our lives even if we don't like it. That's why it is very important to talk about politics in calm atmosphere, use real arguments etc. Unfortunately, I think at this moment this is impossible in our country. I hope this will change in the future.
29 October 2017 at 10:50
Unknown said…
In my opinion this is very good talk and I can agree that politics has some meaning in our lives but we can’t forget that most important thing is the way we live our life. Of course It may have influence on our live but generally the biggest influence is the one we have. Also I do agree that it is important to talk about it but I think that each person who is intelligent, can listen others, has own opinion but can respect others opinions doesn’t need to be taught how to talk about it. I don’t say that it is unnecessary but If someone often need to impose it’s own opinion on you, he will always do and he won’t be able to talk about politics in calm atmosphere. But generally I like this talk and it may be helpful for some people.
29 October 2017 at 11:02
Alicja said…
I like your intro. Many of my friends have uncle Janusz who always starts a political crusade on Christmas after one too many drinks. My family also argues, like any good family, but we do not argue over politics. We have our own important arguments to settle, for example; whose food is the most inedible. I did however once witness a real physical fight in a pub over a controversial political issue.

The presented concept of reframing statements to emphasize common values is an interesting one. I believe it could work in many instances. I'm not sure about other instances. It will work depending on how much uncle Janusz is determined to cooperate with us and not get into the details of why there must be two Smolensk monuments on Krakowiskie Przedmiescie.
However, I like his message at the end. We should, first and foremost, have empathy and respect for one another.
29 October 2017 at 12:25
Unknown said…
For several years in a row in the past, it was a custom in our family to get together to celebrate the New Year. I remember how adults argued about politics then. It was the worst thing about the holiday. I never understood why people start discussing this topic, if it's known in advance that this will lead to a dispute.
29 October 2017 at 13:18
Krzysztof Maciaszek said…
Everyone in Poland is an expert in two things. Politics and football. So when there are two opposing views about some aspect you can leave the party, because the altercation is inevitable. I think that some people might start this topic just to cause some not pleasant discussion, or they are just bored and want some “action”. In my family we rarely speak about politics, and I’m really thankful for
29 October 2017 at 14:01
Unknown said…
First rule of polish table with vodka on it:
Do not talk about politics. If you want to sidestep fights, broken bonds and friendship:) However i have a bestfriend that i can talk with about politics even tho we have different ideas when with my second bestfriend i can't talk about this topic at all without his rage:)
29 October 2017 at 14:17
Unknown said…
Great and humorous post, and a very good video. Had some situations in the past where I strongly disagreed with another person, of course it worked both ways. The conversation never goes anywhere, people get angry at each other, because of entirely different opinions. It is basically impossible to reach a consensus.

For example, no matter how much a person believes that abortion should be legal, and basically a woman's right to decide about her life and body, there will always be another person who will say that a woman should have no say in this, and defend his/her opinion by any means. Even techniques presented in the video above won't make the majority of people to realize "Maybe they are right, maybe abortion is not all that ethical after all" or "Maybe that is true, that the woman should be able to choose if she wants to risk her life while giving birth; maybe its not healthy to raise a rapists child, or maybe she should decide if she is willing and capable of taking care of a mentally/physically handicapped child for the rest of her life". What adds petrol to the fire is, that many people do not respect others opinions/beliefs, not even within the same family, and that is why it usually is better to avoid the topic of politics between friends and family.
29 October 2017 at 14:37
Unknown said…
I am tired of talking about politics with people. We are naive and most of us think that democracy gives us a possibility to decide how our country will look like. In democracy nobody carry responsibility. When they politicians do something which is not acceptable they always answer something like "people voted for us, we have power to do it". I spent a lot of time on discusion about politics and I understand that democracy is not a happy medium. It is really hard for people to swollow a bitter pill. You can ask me - so what I have instead of democracy? I don't know. I am not a specialist and I only want to say that we should think about something diferrent. Because we have less and less influance on very important thing - how our country looks like.

Thank you Tomasz to link for such presentations. It was really enjoying to watch such point of view about conversations about politics.
29 October 2017 at 15:40
Pylyp Radionov said…
I do also share, connect moral value with topics you want to persuade someone is great strategy, and it is going to work not only with politics.
29 October 2017 at 15:45
Pylyp Radionov said…
I am pure apolitical. Never tried to change mans opinion on politics and I am definitely not going to try. Also I do not understand bipolar division, there are much more sides
29 October 2017 at 15:51
Unknown said…
I like this speech! I think that it's great because it show us that it isn't so important who supports which political party but that what we heave deep in yourself. It help us to widen our horizons. It shows that it doesn't have to divide us. Referring to the introduction, such talks about policy at the table on various holidays and during family gatherings should help us to oper our minds for another viewpoint.
This should be for us developing instead of causing a tense atmosphere.
Being thoughtful people, we have the right to have our opinion, but through such conversations we have the possibility to discover some new aspects for us of other views or to confirm in our minds.
29 October 2017 at 16:25
Michał Arasimowicz said…
I'm getting tired of watching this types of speeches. They makes me sleepy. However in this video the way this man talks is fascinating. I agree with almost all of the things he mentioned in the video. Despite the fact that speeches like these are making me sleepy i watched whole video without a single yawn.
29 October 2017 at 16:42
Jakub Lisicki said…
It's sometimes really challenging to understand how do other people see some politics-related topics or how is that possible that they don't support our opinion. That's why we should be less emotional while talking about this topics and show a little more empathy and understanding towards our interlocutor.

One of the really important things that even the real politicians can't achieve is the calm atmosphere of the meetings and trying to put themselves in other people's shoes. They don't want to listen to other people's arguments since they are so sure about their own opinions. If only they could stop being so arrogant, we could achieve so much more even as an entire species.
29 October 2017 at 17:17
Unknown said…
I think that the best thing you could do is not talking about politics at all. Every time somebody begins to talk about it on some feast, it ends with a spoiled mood of all who had joined the conversation. And from those talks no one learns nothing (except that your companions appeared to be worth than you thought before the conversation).
That should be the first rule of any conversation: do not talk about politics, provided that you are not politician itself.

Speech was a good entertainment, thanks to Robb Willer (and thanks to publisher too!).
29 October 2017 at 17:34
Vyvyan said…
How to talk about politics?

Just don't.
29 October 2017 at 17:39
Unknown said…
Well there are literaly two ways how to talk about politics that our species knows. It's either don't talk or talk with guns. Rest is just a waste of time.
For me personally politics is just a bunch of bull****. Nothing good comes out of it and everybody lies.
29 October 2017 at 17:52
Michał Walewski said…
In Poland, as in the United States, political parties are more conservative or more liberal. Unfortunately, few of my family members are perfect examples of uncle Janusz. The problem is not only about politics, but also about religions. I guess, that in my case, the solutions discussed in this speech, will not change much. Each party will still be a good hero from a zombie movie, and next meetings will look the same.
29 October 2017 at 18:19
Unknown said…
First of all, just do not convince others, that your political views are the best ones. Everyone has rights to have own ones. Doesn't matter if you like it or not, just respect that. To be honest, I'm a person who tries to avoid political issues. All these lies, corruption, empty promises.. it just made me insensitive.
If you want to see how does it all work, you should watch House of Cards(Netflix), or listen to Korn - politics ;).
29 October 2017 at 18:42
Unknown said…
It's hard to talk about politics with someone who doesn't share our views. Sometimes differences in perspective about how poiliticians manage our country can lead to civil war. The video can teach how to see differences in different political camps. If we can see those differences we can nicely lead conversation.
29 October 2017 at 18:53
Daniel Cnotkowski said…
All fine on paper but we miss out on important aspect about such conversations - character of one or another there are people out there who will argue with u even if u have same beliefs just for sake of arguing, not because they should but because they can and want to.
29 October 2017 at 19:12
Unknown said…
I love your comment! I was scrolling down to put my comment, then I noticed your commemt and it hit me "this is exactly what I think" (but probably in nicer words ;) when you understand another person you know why some political moves\declarations are important for them or why it makes them angry - what is more importsnt you know how to end this discussion, which may be very useful at Christmas table :)
29 October 2017 at 19:50
Unknown said…
That's true. Some people may arhue even about taste of regular water, so arguing about some views won't be any problem.
29 October 2017 at 19:53
Unknown said…
In my generation everybody hate politics. I don't know why people still talk about it. There was one old soviet movie about the cat Leopold, who was always repeating "Guys, lets live friendly!". So this is also my philosophy for life. People, nobody cares who you are: conservator or liberal, just be human.
29 October 2017 at 21:01
Aleksander Bartos said…
I believe that talking about politics is just like talking about weather, that is pretty much pointless. Left or right, both sides are the same, just some apes trying to find like-minded followers in a never ending battle for votes and money. If you have nothing more interesting to talk about, then sure, go ahead. It won't change anything just like bitching about rain won't stop it from happening.
29 October 2017 at 21:01
Jakub Mańkowski said…
Politics... how to talk about it ? Better not - because mostly is a very good psychological game and we see just a very small part of it, that is mostly untrue or marginalized. One of the cabarets said it perfectly when asked:
- "Do you think we have a good president and good prime minister ?"
- "It depends on which TV you are watching".
Currently it is House Of Cards live.. but in the first one we can see how it is done.
29 October 2017 at 21:11
Foodocado said…
I don't like to talk about politics. Usually when this topic is discussed I don't participate in this conversation. I think it's good to exchange the political views, but it's easier to do it with someone who thinks similar. The most important thing in my opinion is not to convice people that they are wrong.
29 October 2017 at 21:13
Małgorzata Szporer said…
Politicians spend to much time arguing about things that differ one party from another. I believe they should focus on working together and fixing problems that are common for them both like providing decent schools for children or having acceptable roads. I know that is an idealistic approach but I’m hoping that someday we will have a chance to see that happen.
29 October 2017 at 21:14
Unknown said…
Nice call to reunite the nation. I have a feeling that his speech was missing something. I don't think that the point of political discussion or any discussion should be do persuade someone to you rpoint of view. Using his metaphor it would be like taking some character from their movie reality, putting them into yours and asking to adapt.

I would like people rather to learn how to discuss without ending up with a knife in your hand than learn how to persuade. World never was all left or all right sided.

Finally, I don't see anything special about the research he carried. It might sound as I'm biased or so but I honestly don't think he gave it enough thought. In my opinion all this information was already available and provided. Just google 'eristic' and 'art of presentation' for example. Combine them and I believe anyone who studies those will end up with similar conclusions.
29 October 2017 at 21:59
Unknown said…
To be honest I really don't like to talk about the politics. It makes me very bored. In my opinion family talks about the diplomacy have no sense. No matter what argument we use, no one will change their opinion. We can easily talk about the politics when we have got the same views but difference of opinions can change mentioned christmas table into really unpleasant family battlefield.
29 October 2017 at 22:33
Zygmunt Z said…
Honestly I don't have any problem talking about politics, unless it is a constructive discussion. Things become more difficult when you happen to discuss politics with an "expert" who knows everything best and doesn't let you present your point of view. I have many friends who have different point of view when it comes to politics but we discuss it very politely without shouting and swearing. I think it is more common among older people who have created their point of view over the years and can't or don't want to change their mind. This is why it is popular at the time of family gatherings
29 October 2017 at 22:47
Unknown said…
Yeah, it’s quite idealistic idea but I also hope that we will be able to see it one day.
29 October 2017 at 22:57
Tomasz Morawski said…
Yeah, I agree it might be difficult or sometimes even impossible to change someone's opinion about politics but that's exactly why it's interesting - easy is boring ;)
29 October 2017 at 23:13
Andrusyshyn Vlad said…
I think, talking about politics is very scrupulous and filthy topic. Everyone has his own opinion and you cannot change it, if you with your interlocutor have the same view on a specific situation or issue - it's cool, enjoy conversation, if not - better avoid this topic , save your time and mental health. But its all depends, I, personally, don't get overheated if e.g. my friend has an opposite view about politics in my country. Overall, the speech is quite interesting but the main problem is how to implement above mentioned statements in our difficult world. I hope, that in future,word "politics" won't associates with "corruption, scandals, wars and etc.".
29 October 2017 at 23:15
Tomasz Morawski said…
You are probably right but we should remember that it's quite common to forget the most obvious things :) That's why I believe it's good to recall the simplest stuff from time to time.
29 October 2017 at 23:19
Tomasz Morawski said…
I also agree it would be nice. Unfortunately, it seems like working together is not profitable enough for them :)
29 October 2017 at 23:21
Tomasz Morawski said…
I can understand your viewpoint, but I believe there's no point in exchanging opinions between people who thinks the same - it has no added value
29 October 2017 at 23:23
Tomasz Morawski said…
I don't agree. I believe it's very important to talk about politics, since it directly affects our and our environment. Unfortunately, it's not ideas that are usually a topic of discussion, but politicians
29 October 2017 at 23:29
Tomasz Morawski said…
If by politics you mean politician parties, you are probably right. Nevertheless, people should remember that politics is primarly about ideas, not faces you see in TV
29 October 2017 at 23:31
Tomasz Morawski said…
Sounds nice but for some "being human" is forcing people to do things "for greater good" and for others it's letting people to decide for themselves. You can't solve everything just by being friendly
29 October 2017 at 23:34
Tomasz Morawski said…
Well, it's true but still, there are people who keep arguing and change their minds after day or so. It's always worth trying and hoping it'd work :)
29 October 2017 at 23:39
Tomasz Morawski said…
I like what you said here. Respecting doesn't equal to agreeing and people tend to forget that
29 October 2017 at 23:45
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
29 October 2017 at 23:47
Tomasz Morawski said…
Maybe let's please everyone and air it instead of commercials during "Home Alone" ;)
29 October 2017 at 23:47
Unknown said…
I find the video very informative and I especially liked the part where the speaker shared the results of the study he had conducted. The study involved groups of conservatives and liberals and they were assigned a task to persuade the other group to controversial political issue which given group supports. Unsurprisingly, each group was using arguments consistent with views of this group and didn’t even try to empathize with the opposite group’s members and kept using arguments which they value. This shows the polarization when it comes to politics, in other word most of the people tend to be very inflexible in their opinions and viewpoints. What is even worse, some people don’t even want to listen and understand the reasons for a particular attitude and are sticking to their guns persistently. This leads to the conclusion, which some people outlined here, that talking about politics during Christmas, especially in Poland where party polarization has grown significantly, is not a good idea as there is a small chance to have real discussion after few drinks and not just a quarrel during Christmas Eve. That of course does not mean we shouldn’t talk about politics at all, just the opposite, we should, but in a calm and reasonable way. Of course it is easier said than done, but I think doing it with respect and open-minded attitude, promoted by the speaker at the end of the speech, is a way to go.
29 October 2017 at 23:52
Unknown said…
Ahah, great topic)) I hate talking about politics. I remember those family gatherings, I was a child and was so annoyed. Not only because I wasn't interested, but mostly because it always leaded to a small family conflict. That's why when I feel that political topic is about to come, I just go to wash the dishes. I hate to wash the dishes, but political debates I hate even more. For me the only right way is to avoid the conversation and run away:) If you can't run away - try to end the conversation, when each person has his own opinion, but there is no reason to exchange it.
29 October 2017 at 23:52
Unknown said…
Everyone have some opinion about politics and we can talk about that but without fighting and bitting when someone has different opinion on it. I think some people interesting politics other low interesting but we cant fight on it. I speak with my group of friends about politics but we respect our opinion on that and we live in peace :) When i see someone with other opinion about politics i try to convince him to my rights but i dont force someone for that
29 October 2017 at 23:54
Michał Pawłowski said…
I'm allways trying to not to talk about politic. It makes familly dinners much more stressing.
If i had to say something I usually says something like: "You are right.. and you are right.. and you too. I dont have enough knowledge about that topic so it's better to me to just listening to you".
29 October 2017 at 23:57
Unknown said…
Very enlightening speech. We usually want to persuade the others to believe in our ideals and we hardly ever consider what is behind their proposals. We simply don’t want to listen to one another. We don’t notice how much our society is divided or maybe we just ignore this fact. Our ideals are priorities for us. The truth is that the only thing which can safe the society is consensus. It sounds elusive, but I believe it’s possible to achieve. Rob Willer gives very interesting concept how talk to each other. Even though it may not be easy to put it into practice, it is definitely worth trying!
30 October 2017 at 01:01
Unknown said…
Politics is such a dirty topic that it makes me sick, sadly.
Understanding, compassion, empathy are those too much or too passe to still be valuing? Imagine if we had it more in us, how would we talk out our differences.
Personally, if I want to change the world, I start with myself. So I try to not judge your political views but rather understand it.
30 October 2017 at 01:25
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