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Week 12 [16.01-22.01] 5 Reasons why attempts are more important than victories

5  Reasons why attempts are more important than victories

Do you remember the moment when you succeeded? How did you feel? Wasn’t it amazing? The feeling of euphoria.
And now imagine the moment when you failed. Exactly the moment when you were trying as hard as you could, but still you failed? How bad was that? Ridiculously unpleasant feeling, wasn’t it?

Let’s try to make something fun with our brain now. Let’s try to shift our way of thinking. Just right now. I’ll give you as many examples as possible showing “why your efforts and attempts develop you faster than just your victories and successes”. And why sometimes your failures are better than success in terms of growth.


1. If we think about great champions in sports, they don’t just search for challenges, they are hungry of challenges. The more difficult challenge is, the faster they develop and *stretch*. For example, Mia Hamm, one of the greatest soccer players of all times says “All my life I was trying to challenge myself with players bigger, older, faster and better than me”. First, she played with her older brother, at ten, she joined the eleven-year-old boys’ team. “Each day I attempted to play up to their level and I was improving faster than I ever dreamed possible”
Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40745.Mindset



2. Here is the reflection of one female athlete on this topic. She says that since childhood she was often praised for her intelligence rather than her efforts and slowly she developed aversion and dislike to difficult challenges. It affected her approach to academic, athletic and emotional challenges. It was her greatest learning disability – this habit to see performance as reflection of her character. And if she couldn’t accomplish something easily, she avoided the task instead of challenging herself

3. One of the best gifts you can give to yourself is to teach yourself to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy the effort and keep learning. This way you’ll stop to be a addicted to praise.
4. One great basketball trainer says “You have to apply yourself each day to become a little better. By applying yourself to the task of becoming a little better each and every day over a period of time, you’ll become a LOT better”
Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40745.Mindset



5. Another baseball trainer had such an approach to his players: he didn’t expect them to win each and every time. They should do their best. “Did I win? Did I lose?”. These are the wrong questions. He says, – “You may be an outsider, but you will NEVER lose.
Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40745.Mindset

Questions:
- Do you think it’s more important to focus on your victories or attempts? And why?
- What is your approach to challenges in life (for ex. learning algebra)?
- What were the biggest challenges in your life and how did you overcome them?
- What do you think about Mia Hamm’s approach? Do you agree with here or not?
- What motivates you to work harder/more?

Source: “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck.

Comments

Unknown said…
Parents always told me that it's better to be the worst within the best than the best within the worst. They ment at school. People who hear too many compliments or win too often stop trying as much as before. My biggest challenge is learning to play the drums. I noticed that you shouldn't compliment me too much because then I stopped training as much as before. It's stupid.
Sylwia Pechcin said…
I think that more important are attempts. When we try to do something and even if it becomes a failure, we learn, draw come conclusions and are smarter after all. But when we win - we think that everything was perfect just because we achieved something. It's not true - there is always something we can improve.

My approach is firstly get some motivation. When I analyse situation and find out that for example - if I would learn a lot now, it won't be necessary to take an exam at the end or simply I would have to learn less then. Motivation is very important while taking challenges.

One of the biggest challenge for me was to lose weight a few years ago. I have achieved my goal by discipline, systematicity and visualisation of my goals.

Ihor Ahnianikov said…
It's a classical "at least you tried...":) Of course it feels better when you win and I think that focusing on challenges is the same as focusing on victories, every challenge has a winner and if you train a lot, push yourself to the limit then you want to win and you focus on winning, even on the subconscious level.
Unknown said…
The attempts and victories depends on whether you are a professional or amateur. Because when its your way of life you should be focused on the victory.
If I have challenge in my life I always divide it on smaller tasks and step by step complete them.
My actual goal is to finish my studies and the future perspectives motivate me the most.
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
Attempts are very important, but it's really annoying to hear or read everywhere "at least you tried", because the result is a bunch of kids who are doing something without really trying, because important fact is that they started. It's not like that. This is important to achieve your goals - sure, sometimes it may not work, but you have to learn and then try once again, when you are wiser and more experienced. Because you have to know why you are doing it. It you're doing something just to learn and get some knowledge or experience then you're a winner just by trying, bur if you're trying to achieve some specific goal then trying isn't enough.
Michał Pycek said…

In my opinion it is important to start something and take the attempt of it, but on the other hand not finishing something can be harmful to us, if we do it too often and get used to the idea that we can always quit. I think it achieving something is as important as the attempt, because if you achieve it, it means you are persistent and result oriented.
If I feel something is more difficult to me than something else, I simply spend more time or put more effort on learning it and usually it helps. Of course, there are areas which we are better at and worse at, some are totally not in our field of interests, but it is worth to give it a try.
To me it is to organize my work, studies and private life all together, since das have way too few hours for that.
I agree that it can be a lot more efficient and quick to look up to people who are better than us in a specific field, so we feel we want to follow their level and therefore we can compare our current level of knowledge and keep on developing it.
My biggest motivation is my fiance actually, we motivate each other with who we want to be and what we want to do. On the other hand, the visualisation of what I want to do in few years motivates me as well.
Unknown said…
I believe that it is not important how many times you have tried, it is important what you have learned during these tries. And also, if you draw some conclusions. If yes, you are on a good way to achieve your goals. My approach to challenges is simple: do your best and don’t care what anyone may say.
Unknown said…
Not everyone was born a champion. To arrive at the summit you need to train hard. Along the way are also falling and it is these downs show how strong you have the will to stand up and become a master.
I think that attempts are much more important than victories.
When I fail, I tend to train much harder than I do when I achieve success. When I for example win some kind of competition, I think that I’m good enough and become much more lazier.
Only way to develop yourself is challenging yourself.
Piotr Basiński said…
It is right way of thinking than attempts are more important than victories in way of improve ourselves. In my life I decided to spend time only of tasks that develop me, but if i really need to do something hard and not to convenient to do like for ex algebre I'm trying to convince myself that this task develop me in some way and since this time it's possible to complete it. One of the bigchallanges in my life was for example discrete mathematics exam, i have to put many hours to pass it. Answer for your last question about motivation is passion :)
Unknown said…
I think that I have always been looking at myself rather than my competitors in any "competition" in my life. Few times i have succeeded in some field and have been angry on myself, because i didn't do enough, and other times i was happy because, even though i was underperforming, but i was sure that i did everything that i could do. So definitely yes, I think that most important is to try and fight rather than be the best. Your results does not define you, only how you achieve them. Hardest thing in my life was training thai-boxing. When i was doing it I applied strategy presented by Mia, and it was truly amazing to see myself outgrow myself and stand up to people who used to be champions in my opinion.
I can never stop be surprised that athletes are putting their own health for what? Gold cup? Mentions in the newspaper? No, they're doing it for themselves. They shift own limits more and more. Developers think like them, they also want to be the best in their field despite the fact that probably no one will see their works. We have to remember our limits is only ilusion created by us only then can we achieve something.
Wojtek Kania said…
My favorite sport is football. In this sport there is a problem with parents of young footballers (6-16 years old). Parents are thinking that victory is the most important thing. But coaches, psychologists says that this is not important, and atmosphere created by parents is very bad for young players, because they are not growing up. So I think in the first years of doing new sport more important is attemps than victories.
Unknown said…
Personally, I focus entirely on the victory, it motivates me the most. However I would like to learn and care more about the process that leads to the victory or, unfortunately, loss.
In my opinion it is the education system that is at fault. They give us grades and usually it doesn't really matter if we actually learned something.
Unknown said…
Attempting is more valuable than victory. It might be hard to explain to the person who lost a very important competition, but it's the truth. More victories can make person more relaxed which leads to loses. Only the hard work on the mistakes can lead to next victories.
My dreams help me to work harder every day. I know exactly what life I want for myself and there is alway a passion in me to work to achieve my dream.
Adam Nowak said…
The most valuable feat of a single person is dilligence. It is more important than having a high IQ. We are all basically the same. Hard work is a key to success, and by constant trying you can develop yourself in any way you want. I beleive in "tabula rasa" concept - you can't born with a great mind in, at example, theoretical physics. Only the constant fight with yourself can make you another Einstein.
Unknown said…
With motivation in my case it is very different. It is very difficult for me to do things that on the one hand I know that I have to do, and on the other I did not really find it useful right now and in the near future. But when I am doing something that it will give me a lot I am doing it to maximum. When I am doing something I attaches great importance to the mistakes which l perform and even more for the mistakes of the others, because we as a human civilization and rational creatures should observe others and draw conclusions from this, rather from our own mistakes.
Unknown said…
Since my early childhood when I achieved some important goals for me my parents always said: "You could do better". I don't know wether it was right, because sometimes I felt so offended and disappointed, I was trying so hard, I was so proud of myself and I got just": "you could do better". I have grown up as a perfectionist, and it's hard sometimes to relax and to let things go. But I feel myself as a fighter:) and no matter what I do I always remember that I could do better. But I don't know, if it makes sense. I just look around and see the people who are happy with what they get, and to tell the truth, sometimes I want to be like them:)
But I still think that the person should face different challenges. The attempts are better, for sure.
KamilG said…
I'm ambitious person, so victories motivate me a lot. My way to approach to challenges is solving many examples, learning from others and looking at past experiences. When I have some really hard task to do or very important for me, I'm stubborn in doing it until I achieve the goal. It takes much time, many attempts, but satisfaction after victory is worth it. I'm person like Mia, when I look at people who are level up, I want to join them and even be better.
kondrat said…
There is a phrase- training makes you a champion :)
Bartosz Łyżwa said…
To be honest I think victory is strongly realted to attempt. If you're not attempting you won't drink a champagne as somebody said. Personally I like challenges and the best motivation is thinking about success but if I'm still trying and I don't see effects, I have to make a break for some time and return to do that with new ideas.

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