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Week 7 (23-29.11) - The most useless gadgets of all time

The word "gadget" most probably origins from the 19th century when it was used as a placeholder name to describe a technical item which original name was forgotten. It then was described by Reyner Banham in his essay "The Great Gizmo" (1965) as:
"a small self-contained unit of high performance in relation to its size and cost, whose function is to transform some undifferentiated set of circumstances to a condition nearer human desires. The minimum of skills is required in its installation and use (…)."
Nowadays every single idea is transformed into a product. Probably when you think "hmm, this thing would be so cool if it existed" it already does and is being produced somewhere in Asia. Unfortunately the function of most of these gadgets is so particular that they become (almost) completely useless. Do you have any gadgets like these? Or maybe you’ve seen some that are pretty much useless but cool anyway?

Let me present to you my list of the most useless gadgets of all time. The prices are taken from Amazon.

1. USB finger dance mat – 60 zł

www.likecool.com

You plug this device into your computer, you dress your two fingers with a cardboard character of your choice (Disco Dude or Flashdance Chick) and you go crazy on a 10x10 cm dance floor. No wonder it was discontinued shortly after its debut.

2. Musical cake slicer – 90 zł

www.amazon.com


This video pretty much sums up this brilliant invention. This is a cake slicer that plays "Happy Birthday", "Jingle Bells", "The Wedding March" and "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" when you press a button. It is irreplaceable in every housewife’s kitchen. Luckily the set contains two AAA batteries.

3. Potechi – Japanese chip grabbing device – 60 zł

www.everythinghapa.com


This is an essential gadget for every potato chips fan. I think that it may also work with Cheetos though. This carefully designed device has a built-in anti-potato-chip-breakage system – it allows picking up chips using just the right amount of pressure. Your keyboard or book pages will never get greasy again.

But let’s get serious for a moment – the research conducted by the issuing company shows that around 20% people in Japan use chopsticks to eat chips in order to keep their hands clean so maybe this gadget is not that useless after all.

4. TV hat – 130 zł

www.wired.com

This hat includes a portable device holder (such as a smartphone) and a magnifying glass. It also blocks light to enhance your viewing experience – you can enjoy your favorite shows hands-free, anywhere you want. This is the winner of the Most Creative Product of the Show Award CES 2010. If you ever wished to look more ridiculous – this is your chance. Here is a fragment of one of the reviews:
"The beauty of the TV Hat is that it blocks out your peripheral vision so you won’t even see the people pointing and laughing".
5. Food pamper – price unknown

www.boredbug.com

Unfortunately I don’t know if this item is real, however (if it exists) it may be the best gadget from this list. It actually does NOTHING. You put your food in there (probably it comes in one size only), set the timer and… that is it. Maybe it could be "useful" if you… no, it wouldn’t be.

6. Useless box – 180 zł

www.getdigital.eu


I think this is the most popular gadget from this list and the majority of you have probably seen it. You toggle the switch that activates a little handle which toggles the switch in the opposite direction. I think that this gizmo is an ironic invention and this is the only one that I would actually consider having (not buying though).

Here is a video of a cat using this machine.
(Sorry, apparently this is a different machine, a moneybox. You put a coin on a button, you press it and an artificial cat's paw grabs your money and pulls it inside the box. But you get the idea.)


7. USB pet rock – 80 zł

www.thepetrock.20m.com

This brilliant invention is a rock that you may plug to your computer via USB. It is described as a modern version of the 70’s pet rock and a perfect pet for any techie. It is compatible both with Windows (7 and lower) and Mac OS (all of them!). Here is a fragment of the product official description:
"People will stop by and ask you what your USB Pet Rock does. Each time, you can make up a new story; for no matter what you say, it will be greater than the truth - because these USB Pet Rocks don't do a dang thing!"

Sources:


Comments

Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
It's a funny article. I think that a head scratcher is in that category and that's a funny gadget which I own. It's not useless because it scratches your head :D and it's a really nice feeling, have any of you tried it?

Photo

The "Potechi" is an interesting device. I hate having greasy hands. Everybody that knows me notices that I always eat with a napkin around, but I think it's just too much trouble to pick each individual chip with the grabbing device.

I couldn't find any information about the Food papmer, can you tell what did you read about it? Maybe it's for people who are dieting and eat at particular times of day? If I understand you correctly, you set the timer, so maybe it doesn't let you to eat until the timer ends counting?

All those products remind me of the things sold in silly infomercials. I love all those situations where people can't do the simplest things like wear a towel or put things into the pot. "There must be a better way!"

Face blanket I thought it was a "troll" commercial until I saw it on Amazon.

I won't spoil it for you, so check it out for yourself. Here are some funny products (commercials are really short):
The Uroclub
The Hawaii chair
The wearable towel
Happy Hot Dog Man
Sauna Pants

And here are some funny, useless Amazon products :
Link
All of these are really useless. Few times I have seen “Pani Gadżet” in the TV and I was really surprised because those things are so useless, there was no single thing that I would like to buy. However the most useless one are of course made in Japan.

One of the worst ones is pair of air conditioned shoes called ‘the cool breeze’. Now from what I can tell these are a little misleading and aren’t exactly going to hum as you walk around the office blowing out perfectly cool air. They appear to just be ventilated shoes with some anti-bacterial mesh innersole.

The other one is CTA Digital iPotty. 2-In-1 iPotty with Activity Seat for iPad.
Unknown said…
To be absolutely honest I would most definitely use that chips grabbing device. Having greasy fingers, ugh, I hate it to the core.

The rest is just useless. Although I have a feeling that pet rock and useless box are a kind of mockery and it just reminded me of something. Do you know Cards against Humanity? In shoty it's a very politically incorrect card game. So some time ago the authors announced they would sell... bullshit. Of course they warned people will be shipped exactly what they ordered, and yes, people bought it, thinking it's a joke and they would get another expansion pack, but they literally got cow poop in a box... http://distractify.com/old-school/2014/12/17/cards-against-humanity-sells-actual-bullshit-on-black-friday-1197800931

So the inventors' of the useless box and pet rock (probably other gadgets as well) motivations were similar to those of CaH authors'. At least I hope so, because if someone honestly thought that would be a good idea, then my faith in humanity shall be lost...
Wow, so many links, thank you:) I also own a head scratcher. Don't you dare putting it in the same category as all the gadgets above - I love it! It scratches all the stress and sadness away.
Okay, I am getting used to the idea that Potechi might be useful. Would you consider buying it? It is the cheapest thing on the list! And yes, I have noticed your napkin thing:)
Of course if you want to see more of these one function devices, you may always watch MangoTV, it is full of such gadgets. My grandparents own half of he products advertised there, they have run out of space in their apartment and they store some of these gadgets (infrared duck cookers, weird gym machines, steam vacuum cleaner...) on their balcony (I wonder when it will collapse under it's own weight).
Oh, and speaking of this food pamper - unfortunately I think it might be an Internet joke and it probably does something in real life. I couldn't find any additional info, I have found it on one of the useless gadgets lists.
These ventilated shoes might be useful for some people, you never know;) When I was doing research for this article I found a list of the most stupid shoes ever designed (it wasn't about how they looked like but about their functionality). Two funniest ones were CD shoes (with a CD player built inside the sole) and high heels for prostitutes with electronic security system. I have also found Pikachu GameBoy shoes.
Unknown said…
I don't think I would consider buying Potechi, it's looks cheap and like it could break at any moment. Also as I mentioned it's just too much work to pick up individual chips every time ;)
Tomasz Wojda said…
My top useless thing in your list in my opinion is USB pet rock. Amazing. That shows you can cell everything! I love the idea of useless things - that brings a lot of creativity and sometime is more then suprising or just stupid like this one in a link.
http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/6531893_700b_v2.jpg
or someting which can go beyond of meaning useless. Like this one:
http://www.faronics.com/assets/useless-is-more-by-joevelluto-5sedia-parziale_partial-cha.jpg

I think Japan i going really well at doing that kind of stuff! Once i saw a small USB fan which can be attached to chopstics which will cool down our noodles on the other end. MESS IS MORE. is it? :)
Tomasz Wojda said…
My top useless thing in your list in my opinion is USB pet rock. Amazing. That shows you can cell everything! I love the idea of useless things - that brings a lot of creativity and sometime is more then suprising or just stupid like this one in a link.
http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/6531893_700b_v2.jpg
or someting which can go beyond of meaning useless. Like this one:
http://www.faronics.com/assets/useless-is-more-by-joevelluto-5sedia-parziale_partial-cha.jpg

I think Japan i going really well at doing that kind of stuff! Once i saw a small USB fan which can be attached to chopstics which will cool down our noodles on the other end. MESS IS MORE. is it? :)
Unknown said…
For the beginning- great idea for the topic However, I don’t find all of the gadgets from the list useless – for example TV hat, I think I might use it for real! It looks convenient – I saw it before and I read its becoming very popular in USA. Of course it’s not valuable – 130 zł is much too much – I saw less luxury examples for less than 40 zł.
Another thing is that most of those things are great ideas for funny gifts for friends. Everyone from time to time has problem with picking up gifts for friend b-day- those types of gadget are one of the solution then.
I hate peeling bananas and tangerines with my fingers, I always use a knife:)
This bullshit thing is a Black Friday special offer, no wonder 30,000 people bought it;) I wonder how many of them knew what they were getting into. I wouldn't even consider buying this. It reminds me of these scams in which people were selling pictures of iPhones or the one in which someone bought an iPad and got a box full of potatoes.
Thanks for your links:) Well, designing these gadgets requires some creativity, but why so many people buy them?
I agree, TV hat may be useful - for example for long car drives or flights. However, apart from that I don't see much use for it. I wouldn't wear it in public anyway. But the world is so interesting, I don't understand why people try so hard to get away from it?
Unknown said…
I wouldn't call what CaH did a scam - people got what they asked for :) They explicitly said that they would sell bullshit - no more, no less.
Unknown said…
USB pet rock is funny idea, but all this products are really expensive! I have to admit that I like this kind of thing for example Star Wars figurines (recently I got one), this is a totally useless thing, but nice as figure from your favourite film stands on a desk.
I remember when we buy such things friends on birthday, but this outfit is really nice ^^ http://www.gadgets.pl/public/assets/zdjecia/sumo3.jpg
Unknown said…
Haha I just can't imagine that all of these things exists :D according to eating chips with chopsticks - sounds awesome to me! But the gadget didn't convince me.
I still don't get the idea of food pamper...? Maybe it os for people who... No, I don't think so hahah
This post was so ridiculous, I really enjoyed it :D
Unknown said…
I can imagine myself wearing TV hat in a crowded bus or train.
Especially when there is not enough space for holding your bag or backpack.
Let alone the fashionable design, just excellent idea. I don't who the inventors
are but the only thing that comes to my mind is - don't waste your time anymore :)
Unknown said…
Very interesting article. According to me the creators and designers of these gadgets must have really feeling and belief that someone needs their gadgets, probably because they touched with problems like eating chips with hands and they feel discomfort with it in their lives. However, these gadgets have minor enough facilities therefore most of these useless gadgets ended up launch with the crash. I'm very practical person and I try not to buy things that I know I won't use it. This kind of gadgets drive the market because people want to test and in fact they don't use it.
Unknown said…
I'm often surprised by the fact that useless gadgets, at least some of them, actually get produced and sold in shops. I mean, you need to gather a team to design this, brainstorm, contact someone who will make it etc. It's pretty impressive (and maybe a bit ironic?) that people manage to pull this off while some important ideas never get executed.

Anyway, funny article! :) Some of these examples are so ridiculous, my favorites are USB pet rock and finger dance mat. I find the chip grabbing device quite useful actually (greasy hands are terrible), but it looks stupid and unwieldy.
Unknown said…
You touched on very interesting gadgets. I have never heard about these things:) generally I like gadgets - phones, computers and other accessories to it. Especially for phones- iPhones
Some gadgets help us in daily life. It is really useful
Kit said…
To be honest with ourselves, probably half of thing we own is either useless or redundant. If you really think about usability of property we own, then well... most of it is useless, and lot of precious items will fall into this category. Paper books for example, they take up a lot of space, and after you read them, they become at least for a few years absolutely useless for you. Same for DVDs or game boxes or decoration items.
My point is - to own useless stuff is human. And people making fun of your star-wars figurine collection should go home and think about what exact purpose their houseplants serve.
But anyway i always thought 'gadgets' were some obscure but high-tech things that have little purpose and lot of 'wow' factor. like smartwatches.
Kit said…
I forgot to add that I think main purpose of the gadgets is to be a gift.
So gadgets are ceremonial objects offered during cultural festivals!

And there is a lot of shops that specialize only in providing 'gift items', like toys for boys ( http://www.toys4boys.pl ) and such
Yes, this is an issue to me. If they are supposed to be funny no more than once or twice, they shouldn't be so expensive.
You can't wait for the Star Wars premiere, huh?;)
Thank you:) I'm glad that I gave you the idea of eating chips with chopsticks!
Oh, I really hate crowded buses and trains. I am short, so I always end with my head shoved into someone's armpit. It would be nice to have some kind of armour against the crowds, right?:)
Unknown said…
Useless gadgets are... useless. I own many things which could be considered useless by some people. I collect various things related to board games, military and flight. But if somebody considers something from my collection a useless thing it is only because he or she don't really know what it is or what it is worth. But after I saw this USB rock pet... I am speechless. It is universally useless. Nobody can consider it is worth a dime. Ok, besides its author who sells it for premium price.
Michal Kulesza said…
Actually this useless box looks like great tool to place on your desk at workplace. It would get people so annoyed on openspace :) Imagine: playing it all day when they are starring at their screens. However - the price is a bit too high - somewhere I've seen DIY instructions.
Thank you:) I am practical too, I can't imagine having a house full of useless stuff.
Yes, you are right. There are so many great ideas that don't gather enough funds and people produce so much useless stuff. I like these cheap ideas that are very creative and helpful, like this HelpDesk, a desk that may be turned into a backpack and is a charity project designed for pood Indian children. Have you seen this?
What are your favourite accessories for phones and computers?
I have heard two theories about getting rid of unnecessary items: 1) throw out all the things that you haven't used for over two years 2) keep only the ones that are useful or decorative and get rid of the rest. There is also a book on cleaning your place from useless things involving some special japanese techniques - Magia Sprzątania.
Collections are a completely different thing and they are really valuable, especially to the owner. It is nice to have this kind of hobby:)
Haha, I don't think you would keep your job if you played with this useless box all day;)
Unknown said…
It's a very interesint and funny subject, I didn't know that people produce this many useless gadgets. Sadly I can't think of other things like those, I might not be a fan of gadgets in general - I associate them with usleless junk that take up space. And I really don't like having usless things around me. The only exception I can think about would be kitchen utensils, for example funny pancakes forms, asparagus peeler or a spoon for carving ideal spheres out of potatoes. Those are the kinds of gadgets I'd like to have in my kitchen, if it weren't so small.
Unknown said…
It's a very interesint and funny subject, I didn't know that people produce this many useless gadgets. Sadly I can't think of other things like those, I might not be a fan of gadgets in general - I associate them with usleless junk that take up space. And I really don't like having usless things around me. The only exception I can think about would be kitchen utensils, for example funny pancakes forms, asparagus peeler or a spoon for carving ideal spheres out of potatoes. Those are the kinds of gadgets I'd like to have in my kitchen, if it weren't so small.
Unknown said…
I will agree with all that's this topic is very funny. All of this great products are huge inventions. They were probably created in Japan. They love this kind of stuff.
I find useless gadgets a compelling story of marketability and social games in the form of presents. Over Christmas the sale of useless gadgets increases geometrically because people search gifts for others. People in the long term get addicted to spending regularly money on useless gadgets and develop a habit for these products especially in Far East Asian region. In Poland useless gadgets are becoming more popular. This is also proportional to rising disposable incomes.
Julia Osiak said…
I have seen most of these gadgets already, but every time they come up again, I always wonder why would anyone make them? Or maybe the more important question is why would anyone spend any money on them? I really cannot see any purpose in them, unless it's just for the sake of collecting gadgets...
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…

Some of gadgets from your list are very funny. Human( not only human because also, for example, cat) unfotunatelly is gadgeteer. In my opinion the man not women like it better.
Your article shwows how often people are stupid or how often people need cheap and stupid entertainment.
I have wanted to choose my favourite one, but I have a huge problem with it because all from your list are stupid and absurd.
When I see inventions like this I just try to get some thoughts together and ask myself "why for god's sake people waste their precious time for making useless things like that?!". They could use their time to do something that could be useful in anyway for humanity or even their hamster, but USEFUL, PLEASE...
Aleksander M said…
Some of those things are actually trying really hard to be useless. I would rather read about things that weren't meant to be useless in the first place, all those creations where the author tried hard and failed equally hard. Have you got any examples?

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