Body
language
Hey guys, we’ve already
discussed a pretty serious topic concerning capital punishment, so it is a good
idea to have something not that serious and more positive. I have been interested
in the body language for a long period of time, but to develop this topic into
something more organized and logical I have decided right now.
Recently I have found a video made by Amy Cuddy ‘Your body language
shapes who you are’. A pretty interesting, informative and easy to comprehend
video, if you are interested in the body language as me – please, look at the
video. You will find some funny moments and interesting information about that
topic. For those who are not that interested and hates to watch long videos,
please, look here
Well, guys, if you’re bored of watching videos or you
just got curious of it, here are a few body language facts that would come
useful and probably will help you during your conversations with people.
Direct eye contact means that your listener is
interested in you and what you are talking; however, don’t forget about
cultural differences as in some cultures direct eye contact could be offensive.
Shaking your legs means that you are impatient,
nervous or even scared in some situations. It could be irritating for the
others, so try to control that thing, if you care of course.
Arms crossed means that you are trying to defend
yourself or at least you feel uncomfortable, but sometimes crossed arms just
mean just crossed arms and nothing more.
Smiling, well, here everything is obvious – you feel comfortable;
however, sometimes it also depends on the type of smile. We all know different
types of smile and definitely can understand when a smile
looks more like an evil grin
- Do you believe that it is possible to understand a man by his gestures and movements?
- Is it hard for you to keep your gestures under control?
- Do you have some specific movements or gestures that are irritating you?
- Come up with your own question if you want and spread the topic =)
Comments
No I don't think it is hard for me to keep my body under control. Honestly I am trying to express myself in a way helping others understand my intentions and I do it under full control of my body.
I don't have any specific irritating gestures but I don't like it if some of them are occuring too often. Any gesture is good in a form of improvisation but it's irritating to see them becoming a habit.
What kind of gestures do you think you have?
I don't think that it's hard for me to keep my gestures under control. I'm a pretty calm person. I also don't have any specific movements that irritate me.
There was an interesting series called "Lie to me" where a guy is "reading" people's gestures and mimicry. It's fiction of course but some of the techniques that they're using in the series might be true. Check it out if you are interested in the topic.
I'm not the type of person who gets irritated by gestures.
Reading your presentation reminds me of one guy who can get easily into your mind. By looking at you he can easily read important information from your “mind”. It was an experiment in which they asked people to give their credit card and think about their card password. They did what they were asked to do and the mentalist went with them to the ATM and typed their password showing them that he easily guessed their thoughts.
It's really amazing when you can read person this way.
Btw, the book is also great!
P.S. I love „Though of the day” at the beginning of the website :)
When it comes to me, in some kind of awkward situations I look like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mng516txzYE =D
For example for me it’s not hard to keep my gestures under control if I’m not under pressure or I’m not stressed. But if I turn off my mind I don’t control my gestures or control less and I don’t think about what I want to show.
For me irritating is blinking too much, because then I see that my interlocutor is stressed or anxious. It’s not comfortable situation, because I feel not good when I see that the other person feel uncomfortable spending time or discuss with me.
Personally, I'm very sceptical about tricks like girls mentioned in the comments, about knowing one's pin code from just looking at them. You would need some high-tech equipment to do this, in my opinion.
However, the topic surely is interesting, especially if you're a business person or a lecturer - it's not only useful to know how to read body signals, but also how to show them to achieve good effects :)
When I know about a body gesture that happens beyond my "decision", I try to tell myself that I can control it. I tend to cross my arms and legs in a "deffensive/uncomfortable" pose, but since I know what it means, I try to stop myself from doing that - not to send some bad signals to the people I'm talking to.
The other thing is that I wear glasses and I have been wearing them for about 15 years now. When they slide down my nose, I push them back in place. Some time ago I decided to get myself some contact lenses and I kept catching myself on pushing my imaginary glasses up. At first I thought that it was a normal habit because I was so used to glasses, but then I associated it with feeling uncomfortable and awkward, like when I couldn't come up with what to say. In such situations I would adjust my "glasses" just to do something with my hands! It was an interesting discovery. As the matter of fact, discovering anything your body does beyond your mind's control is pretty weird, don't you think?
I think I can keep my gestures under control when I focus on them. The situation changes when I get distracted and when the focus changes to some other thing. Then what my body does is all automatic.
For me body language is very important and recently I could see the difference in difficulty of conversation via teleconferences. No body language means you have to learn how to get all information and 'feel' other people just by their tone of voice :)
If you want to learn something more about body language I would recommend Alan Pease "Body Language - How To Read Others Thoughts By Their Gestures", you can find there a lot useful information about decoding body language in different situations. Here you can read it. You can also read his other books about psychology.
However, it is not a good idea to try to use body language on a conscious level after reading an article or reading a short article. There are people who try to detect lying for example after watching a video. It may lead to a lot of false accusations. Body language depends not only on the culture, but also on physical and emotional state of the person. It is hard to smile when you are very sad or in pain. It may have nothing to do with the conversation.
On the other hand, trying too hard to use some gestures may lead to irritating exaggeration.
Yes I've noticed that it is from it and I was supposed to metion this series but paulina was faster:P
Unless he quotes Shakespeare I'll probably get the meaning.
Is it hard for you to keep your gestures under control?
Until I don't think about my gestures It's easy peasy, problems arise when I get nervous.
Do you have some specific movements or gestures that are irritating you?
No, not really.
Dominika I love them too, there are interesting ones evry time)
Cause the book cover's image was from the series and there are a lot of examples from the series, just more detailed)
The interpretation of gestures can be problematic. Especially if you're talking to someone for the first time. Specific gestures can mean something completely different in different situations, or don'o't mean anything. Wrong interpretation of non-verbal communication can lead to misunderstandings.
Personally, I have no problems with controlling my gestures. But certainly there have been situations where I was not even aware that I was doing annoying gestures :)
Sometimes it is annoying to me when I am talking to a person who chews gum or holding his hands in pocket, but it depends on situation.
Thanks for the recommendation, I've herad about this book a lot and even read it. So, I can recommend it to the others too :)
Katarzyna thanks for interesting infographic!
Yeah, I agree with you that there are also a lot of myths about body language and some people can wrong or just seriously comprehend some gestures. This can lead to confusion.
In my opinnion body language is the true and some phycologists proved it.
Claver man would lern basic gestures, their meaning and use it in life
to understend people better, specially in some importent situations.
For instance during interview u can use such skills to gat a job.
I teached myself to keep my gestures under control to be protected.
Some times i can't control my food. It beating different music beats alot of
people hate it. On the other hand i dont like people show their authority using
gestures by eyes. Its called microexpressions.
I’ve heard that businessmen learn special body code, which can help them to do better business. In my opinion it’s very poor. They manipulate their customer.
Do you think that in 5, 10 or 20 years we will forget about body language?
On the other hand when traveling abroad body language and hand gestures can help to communicate if we don't know the language of foreigners.
Such things as good posture or keeping a confident eye contact can make a huge difference as to how other people perceive us.
Body language is one of the main factors that contribute to a first impression of someone, for example, it may be a crucial component to a successful job interview (of course skills and knowledge aside).
Usually you can easily tell apart a shy person from a confident one.
Also, I think you can and you should work on your body language, especially if you are aware of your bad habits (or if you want to present yourself in a more confident/relaxed way).
As to reading people intentions based on their body language - I think it's possible, but as others have mentioned one person's gesture may mean something totally different from another.
Having said that, I think that if you know someone (even for a short time) you can successfully read their body language and meaning behind it, although I think it's very subtle and situational.