Nonverbal communication is one of the most
astonishing, extraordinary and incomprehensible ways of human communication.
Wordless messages are sent through our gesture, body language, posture,
clothes, hairstyle, even through the rooms we live in and objects we use. These
messages might be decoded by our interlocutors intentionally or
unintentionally, but nevertheless they do not go unnoticed. We are surrounded
by the jungle of nonverbal communication and we cannot escape from it.
By means of nonverbal
communication we express our feelings, personality, attitude towards certain
things, needs and problems. Nonverbal cues may either constitute a message on
their own or they may be a supportive measure undertaken to strengthen what we
say. But the question is how we know if we encode and decode those wordless
messages properly. What determines our understanding of nonverbal
communication? How do we find nonverbal paths in the wilds of communication? Is
it our inborn ability or do we acquire this skill through socialization and the
process of upbringing in a specific culture? In this essay I will try to
reflect upon these and some other questions connected with the mysterious
phenomenon of nonverbal communication.
Sometimes I wonder
whether nonverbal communication is not a relics of evolution, such as: wisdom
tooth or coccyx, yet then I think it is not the case. People might have used
nonverbal cues for communication before they evolved and started using verbal
ones, but why did not they give it up when having discovered a more efficient
and time sparing way of encoding and decoding messages? Human being is a
peculiar, cunning creature who is always trying to defeat and deceive the
nature. Maybe this time it is the nature that deceived the human being. We use
words, verbal messages not only to communicate something but very often to hide
something from our interlocutor, to keep something secret and not to
communicate. Words can be deceptive. But maybe
nature invented a way to tame our cunningness. That is why we still have
nonverbal communication. It reveals what is meant not to be revealed. It
reveals what we are afraid to reveal. It says what we would never say. It shows
our true nature. Of course a well-trained person is able to tame his body
language, but still he cannot control it all the time.
My another guess
connected with this topic is that we need nonverbal communication because
language constraints us, it does not enable us to express the abundance of
emotions that we feel. The enormousness of our feelings cannot be articulated
through a means of communication that imposes limits on us. But how do we know
how to encode and decode these wordless messages? Now, if we presume that
nonverbal communication is an invention of nature and evolution, then we can also presume that we must have acquired
an inborn ability to sense it, detect it and use it. I do not know whether it
is a special apparatus present in our brain or an invisible phenomenon called
intuition, but I am convinced that we do have it. There is no other explanation
for the fact that people from different countries, cultures, different social
background are able to decode such universal feelings as: anger, happiness,
sadness expressed nonverbally.
To conclude,
nonverbal communication is a vast and complicated subject which we still are
not able to understand completely. There is little doubt that all of us are
more or less aware of the fact that it exists and we use it on a regular basis,
but I do not think that enough attention is paid to its role and importance.
Most people do not ponder over nonverbal communication and its determinants.
They do not wonder, how we find nonverbal paths in the wilds of communication –
they simply find it. They do it intuitively, subconsciously. Maybe it is
because of some evolutionary relics or a peculiar sensor in our brain or
because of the society and culture we grow up and live in. Or maybe there are
other factors which I have not thought of. I believe that all of the phenomena
mentioned above play a crucial role, as far as decoding and encoding nonverbal
messages is concerned. I think it is not enough to focus on one of them and
study it in detail. They cannot be discussed separately, because they are
interconnected and together, as important aspects of human life, form and determine the complex phenomenon of
nonverbal communication.
Sources:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication
3. http://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/a/nonverbaltypes.htm
4. http://www.andrews.edu/~tidwell/bsad560/NonVerbal.html
5. http://dan.univerzita-online.cz/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/facial-expression.jpg
6. http://aulaobertasanisidro.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/ROLEPLAY.jpg
7. https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlSNMkdNU5lMGpqsHI3bZ1VlupvqqSGhcm_i1Ldx-vlWn4_MZ2cfaPCSrblo8S_1RVz8Eo4bzTphFemhNYQQIRVMyRQnsziQ7iHyPHN1R_g5AVahltHqylr3wxpeBVL9lrmK45VgOWc0/s320/para.jpg
Comments
Because, as you have mentioned, it can be treacherous and can uncover our intentions or uncertainty. There is always a room for improvement for everything, but is it possible to train non-verbal communication perfectly to have absolute control over it?
A very easy to prove by the difference.
People who live in big cities and their work requires negotiation skills are aware of the existence of such communication.
People who are living inside the small towns deal with serious but not requiring work, do not need this type of improvements of their own personality.
Nonverbal communication require in my opinion some other instincts. People are often misunderstand when they are talking or just singing. The great example is Czesław śpiewa who wrote song "I hate you poland" and has been criticized for lack of patriotism, what is not true if we know what the author had in mind
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after my fist try. Well, anyways I've done this before and scored high. Still I don't like the idea of the test - what is a 'fake' smile? One that you do because you want to (or are told to) instead of happening on its own accord? (as a result of watching funny movie for example?). I'm not convinced.
Though I'm not Italien I also pretty often "use my hands" simultaneously with my voice. And I have too admit that not using this kind of communicatio during job interviews, meetings, presetations, or any other things like that is extremely hard.
Another thing is that form this chart, I can assume that when I'm great at my body language and how speak, I can easily offend someone and still get 93% good impression.
Maybe this chart was made for human-dog communication... That would be pretty much accurate. You can say to dog "I hate you" in a way you are saying "good boy!", and he will still be happy ;)
However I'm still curious how would one present 30-years mortgage credit. If you've got an idea please share it with me!
Would You concider sign language as a non-verbal communication?
Non-verbal communication is very complex and important part of whole communication between persons. This kind of communication provide information subliminally. Your body language says a lot of things about you. When you meet someone first time the first look, first few seconds can tell you a lot of about other person, and the way this person move is equally important as spoken words.