Watch the video at https://www.bbc.com/ideas/videos/how-to-get-on-with-someone-you-hate-at-work/p072bwd0 and comment on it. Present your personal experiences and solutions to the problem.
Owls are nocturnal creatures. They’re wide awake at night and they sleep during the day. If this sounds like bliss to you, then, like about 20 percent of the population who find themselves most active at around 9 pm, you may fall into the same category as our feathered friend. Night owls often have difficulty waking up in the morning, and like to be up late at night. Studies of animal behaviour indicate that being a night owl may actually be built into some people’s genes. This would explain why those late-to-bed, late-to-rise people find it so difficult to change their behaviour. The trouble for night owls is that they just have to be at places such as work and school far too early. This is when the alarm clock becomes the night owl’s most important survival tool. Experts say that one way for a night owl to beat their dependence on their alarm clocks is to sleep with the curtains open. The Theory is that if they do so, the morning sunlight will awaken them gently and natura...
Comments
When you work as a coder you probably do not have problem with finding other job. So my advice would be: If you do not feel well at your current job, change it. That's what I did and it was one of my best choices ever.
Sometimes there may be a situation that you are not looking forward to changing job, because they pay you well or it's well known company, but for my being happy and having life without unneeded stress is more important.
However, as mentioned in the video, it takes a bit of effort to deal with, not only because of the other person, but also yourself. But I guarantee, it's worth to do it.
Want to add a nice history from a work of my friend.
“When I first started working at a new place, I noticed that one of my colleagues constantly gave people candy when they first met that day. So everyone was always glad to see him. He did the same with me, until one day I wondered if he was treating people with Pavlov’s methods. After that, I didn't get any more candy.”
The problem might be that some people are viewing coworkers, as people they have to have some sort of relationship with and talk to about things going on in their life. They absolutely don't. They can make it abundantly clear they're there to work and are not interested in being chummy. And it won't get them in any kind of trouble.
I soon realised that one of my group mates was facing personal problems. I started chatting with him and offered help. I tried to put myself in his shoes and together we managed to find a solution. He later told me that at first he was afraid to admit he was struggling but everything turned out fine.
I also agree with what was said in the video and in other comments that honest conversation with the one you hate is really important and could lead to some improvements in your relationship. Moreover a listening capabilities are also helpful in relationships which was also pointed out in the video.
My personal advice is - do not attack! Take it easy, think for a second and try to come up with some consensus. Put yourself in someone's shoes. It's better to calmly point out a mistake and to introduce some solution to a problem than to shout on people and attack them.
At work, I try not to start a personal relationship, only professional relationships. Such a framework helps sensibly judge the situation. You are not looking for certain human qualities in a person, only professional skills. After all, you need to interact with them only at work, not in life.
Although I once met at work with one good friend. He turned out to be a boring employee, but a good man. If you fail to build professional relationships, get acquainted with his personal qualities, maybe he is not as bad as it seems.
I could not focus on her work and every day I thought what he would say. I was also thinking about changing jobs
I managed to limit conversations with this person to a minimum and tried to talk only about work. I talked to that person later
and explained what bothered me. Since that conversation, I have no problem with a disliked colleague
Still, we've all met unreformable people. In my experience, when someone is being toxic on a regular basis the best way to curb them is usually crowd pressure. Reach out to your fellow workers first, and your supervisor second. If they remain uncorrected, you should probably change your environment.
But if situation is more complicate like that person is lazy, make some problem for you, or it’s your boss and communication is not working, you could minimize speaking to that person face to face as much as possible and communicated via email so that every interaction was documented. Also, if you hate most of the people that you work with, then maybe you are the problem and should work on yourself. Sometimes the reason you don't like a co-worker is that the person has the same bad habits that you do, is always criticizing you, or telling you what to do. Ask yourself if these complaints are valid.