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Week 4 [ 11.04-17-04 ] Petty offense or big pleasure?

Source: https://medium.com/traitify/random-acts-of-kindness-are-good-for-your-health-31c52f7ad87f#.n8ka4kwzv

Some people love chocolate, others love music or bath with foam, the gym or almonds in cinnamon. Everyone has his own “addictions”.

Do you know it? You start eating chocolate, one piece of chocolate, but after 15 minutes you realize the package is empty?
At the beginning everything is good, but later on appears the feeling of  remorse and you feel sick. But it is unnecessarily.
Of course we should follow common sense. Distraction in pleasures may be dangerous.

You know it.
Your favorite series, a new episode, you must watch it- It is a light option.  You haven’t got the  internet for a few days, when you have it back you check the series and you see- for example 10 new episodes of your favorite series. You start watching, you watch one episode, after that next and next, you don’t remember about other important, often more important than the series things. But you are lost and then it is dangerous.
In this case pleasure ceases to be pleasure, it starts to be normal, of course only in your head.
After that you wake up from a beautiful dream you have a huge remorse.
Research shows that better is when we reward ourselves  with small pleasures, then our motivation is bigger.

The feeling of guilt  is then completely unnecessary, because you give yourself a small gift.
You should remember about small pleasure after a hard working day. It may be food, a good book, film, walk. Every one of us has his own list of pleasures. What is on your list? My favorite gift for myself is long, warm bath with foam, a  good film, listening to music, walking with my camera. I love it.
We should be clever hedonists because when we can’t use pleasures we can get depression, frustration and generally  only problems.
But when we will remember about small pleasures we will have a great mood, health and many other benefits.

We should work hard and after that we should relax. It is the best way to have a nice and balanced life.

Comments

Unknown said…
That is definitely true. Especially part about food, usually I buy small packs of chips or sweets because I know I'll end up eating whole pack, so its better to buy smaller package. I wish it was easier to restrain yourself.
You are absolutely right, the worst thing is when people don't remember about priorities and just start with things that can be done after obligatory stuff. It is so easy to became addicted of things that gives us pleasure as you said food and movies are great examples of time consumers.

We should have strict plan when we have time for work and when for ourselves, it is important to don't waste whole day on watching some tv series. I have my own rules, and I really try to watch at most 3 episodes of tv series in a whole week. And if I can I try to postpone it, for instance when I am planning holiday and I know that I will spent 3 hours in bus or plane, than I can watch movies.
Unknown said…
I don't think I entirely agree with Cezary. It's true that people are very prone to addiction and being distracted but, on the other hand, we spend most our lives working, and working hard. And we're working precisely so that we can spend our time as we please. Why put additional deadlines or limits on aspects of our lives that should let us relax and dispel tensions of everyday life? When we exceed those limits, that's when the guilt appears, in my opinion. It sounds cliché, but we really need to be kind to ourselves; not many other people will be.
Pat said…
In the past, I've often had an opposite problem than most people do - I rarely got into a TV series watching spree or anything like that; more often, I refused myself those little pleasures and I blamed myself if I'd spent an hour wathing some film and not working.

However, I've learned that this kind of lifestyle can be very devastating for your mental health. Every now and then you need a break, some quality time. You've probably heard the proverb - all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy ;) There's no point in refusing any form of recreation - in fact, your productivity decreases if you don't make any breaks to relax.

Balance is the key - in your presentation you've mentioned hedonism, but I'd rather refer to epicureanism - you need pleasures in your life, even if sometimes you have to do something unpleasant in order to achieve greater happiness.
Unknown said…
Good idea to buy small packs. You should be more strong-willed. You should to train it. It is possible. You can reward yourself for your small success, your patience and persistence.
It may be a good motivation for you;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvbyY7oMT2E
Unknown said…
I agree with you. Unfortunatelly I know that planning is very difficult for many people. I also have a problem with it from time to time. Although I try to struggle.
Your plan seems to be very good. I admire if you always follow the plan.
Unknown said…
Maybe you're right, yes you're right, but we should remember about common sense. If we will remember about it everything will be good.
Unknown said…
I absolutely agree with you :) Few weeks ago I had similar thought – we should care more about ourselves, we only live once (YOLO :D) and it is great not to worrying when you spend time on something you just like.

I think our problem is (for sure mine, I don't know how about you guys) that we can't balance it in a long term. I mean, when we have a deadline, or an exam or anything, we work / study all the time - all day, all night. And in a typical work-day we are wasting so much time – for example we are coming back home and we just spend time in Internet, doing stuff that is neither a pleasure nor anything productive. It would be so much better if we spend this time on something that really has a meaning for us and will really make us more relaxed! So in fact we are taking a "passive rest" without having fun out of it... What do you think about it, do you have the same?
Michał Pycek said…
I totally agree that it is crucial to reward yourself, especially for the work you've done. Among work and our duties, we all are human beings and unfrotunately whether we want it or not, we get older and sometimes it feels like we had less and less time for ourselves. Therefore we should actually focus on avoiding neglecting ourselves, and instead, reward ourselves with something we really enjoy doing after our job is done. Personally I don't believe at all in working on something in 100% and then moving straight to another project without at least a moment for myself. It can be an hour cycling in the woods, playing guitar or games. I believe we are not as productive when we don't take a break. On the other hand it is difficult while having so many deadlines as well as different activities related to work, studies, family life etc.
Unknown said…
It's all very true. We should work hard, but we also should remember we are not machines. We are living beings and we need a break from time to time. If we skip that, it's going to be detrimental to us. I personally don't agree with working hard all the time, planning everything including the smallest details and I don't understand people who do that. You need to let everything go sometimes. ;)
I try to reward myself after completing some difficult task or after a hard day's work. It's usually a small snack or a moment for myself - watching a film, reading a book or drawing a few scribbles. But I can definitely relate to eating a whole package of chocolate. It's silly, but it happens sometimes.
Unknown said…
I absolutely agree. I even try to live that way, with various result though ;) I find it extremely difficult do to so when I watch a good series and an episode ends with a cliffhangers. It's a constant battle of "Come on! Do this one thing NOW!" and "BUT I NEED TO KNOOOOOW!" :)
But every now and then, not to often of course, I think it's good to have a "me day", when you focus on stuff you like - watch favourite series for as long as you want, play video games, eat your favourite food, etc. Sometimes, just sometimes, it's okay to completely let go for a day.
Yes, yes, yes :P Every single word in this article is true, for me. It's very hard to deny yourself something you really like. And I think sometimes it's 'healthy' to forget about everything and relax with your favourite series or simply with your favourite chocolate :)
Unknown said…
It is not simple to learn how we should to relax. I had once the same problem . I still have this problem from time to time. I completely understand you. I'm very happy that you found your own life balance. It is one of the most important thing to good life.
Unknown said…
Serious reflexion from your life :P Of course I have the same. I spend many hours in Internet and of course it is neither a pleasure nor anything productive. Life might be such beautifull. I still try to spend my time more and more for relaxing or more productive, but it is not simple. Hmm and my remorse appear when I spend my time bad, not when I relax.
Moode said…
I really do like Your article, it touches one problem that no body wanted to see, every body trying to pretend that everything is ok, I am not doing something wrong for example watching 5 episodes of serial The Walking Dead )).
Then later i realise that I didn't do my English homework in the last moment :D.
You mentioned really very good point about to give out selfs small gift after hard works. and this is what i will try to do.
I do like watching serials so for sure this will be one of my small gift but only 1 episode ).
Unknown said…
If it is a dark chocolate you can to eat it everyday ;)
Unknown said…
I love chocolate and going to the gym.
I'm addicted to these two things. I give myself gifts but I don’t have moderation. If I do something I do it in 100%. Balance is alien word to me. When I eat one piece of chocolate probably I will eat whole bar of chocolate and of course later I have remorse… on the other hand whan I going to the gym I spend all my free time there. It is crazy.
Unknown said…
Hahaha, great example. Uhhh- cliffhangers :P I have the same problem all time :P You're right. When we haven't got weekend in weekend we should to do weekend in the normal day if it is possible. Our healh will be greatfull.
Unknown said…
It's true that we should get some time to relax...after hard day at work or university. I think it doesn't matter what u like u should do what makes you feel happy and have some time for yourself...
For me, watching a TV show it's not a waste of time if you enjoying it :)
Unknown said…
My first article which not arouse controversive :P It proves that exist topics in which all of us are agree. Great!
Svitlana Bilan said…
We are addicted to numerous things in our life and without even acknowledging it we are already prisoners of our own rhythm of life. I think that we have to harmonize and balance our life in terms of addictions. Sometimes it is useful to say no to yourself and put a limit, while in another situation it is a good idea to feel yourself free. Any way we should control our addictions as in terms of food or alcohol it is the way to find out that we are already alcoholics or pretty fat because we 'let ourselves to feel comfortable'.
I can also recommend you a book on the following topic called - The power of habit by Charles Duhigg. It in some terms analyses why we are living in one rhythm and it is difficult for us to change ourselves.
Unknown said…
I'm very happy that you've took something for yourselves from my article. I'm glad.
Unknown said…
So bilans is ok. You'll burn the chocolate on the gym ;)
Unknown said…
I live about 8 years without TV-set and I love it. Now, when I come to my family home I can't sit in the place when all watch TV. So I don't share your passion ;)
Unknown said…
BTW, of course I have a laptop wich is connected with network :P
Unknown said…
Oh thanks for recommended book. Certainly I will read it. It must be very interesting. By and large whole topic is very interesting and intriguing. Thanks once again for the book.
Unknown said…
I agree 100%, myself i either watch tv series, watch streams or go out with friends (i guess it still counts since it makes me happy to go out)
Unknown said…
What I can say? Great! ;)
My small pleasures are mostly connected to music. Also when I'm working all the time and it makes me feel down I try to arrange some kind of meeting with friends I haven't seen in a while. Catching up with them resets my mood and gives me motivation to work.
Unknown said…
Yes, your examples are very universal. What music do you like? Slowly I start to be addicted to concerts and atmosphere, which is there. Althounght I'm very very tired next day :P But it is a great relax for my mind. I recommend it everyone.
Unknown said…
I would almost agree with article entirely, but, personally I rarely fell regret after spending whole night doing things that I enjoy. Maybe it would be somehow better to reward myself with small portions just to savour the prize. But when episodes turn into seasons it is not wasteful night. It's awesome night.
Unknown said…
Perspective next bad day it is fearsome for me :P
Unknown said…
I totally agree with you. Rewording yourself is a necessary to maintain mental health in a good condition. Some time ago I was working hard without rewarding myself and was struggling with a constant depression. Nowadays as a reword after well spent days a give myself a wild dance, sweaty training or a session with a video game.
Unknown said…
I'm so sorry that you have experienced workhollism effects on your own skin. The story of your depression is so sad. I feel sorry for you and I hope, that you will reward yourself profusely. We all should take care about our mental health.
Unknown said…
I don't understand, we're talking about addiction, cheating your own mind or motivating ourselves to work more efficiently? I think the feeling of regret is more about the consequences of our actions - getting fat from eating chocolate, wasting time instead of doing something productive - not about the act itself. It's all a matter of perspective and maybe planning our time. I suppose that "rewarding" ourselves with little pleasures can be a good thing to do while taking a break from work or some other activities and is a well known motivational technique, but why not just accept things we like to and exercise them with moderation.
Marcin Konarski said…
In general I don’t like situations where I have to buy someone present just because they bought me something, and I have to compare the prices of both presents and they should be similar. It would be faux pas if I will buy something for 10 zł when someone payed 200 zł. I mean in general it is a shame but I will not cry for it. I have a rule that if I care about someone I don’t need to be frugal. I can buy something that is valuable and will show how I appreciate someone’s time and presence in my life.

The most important for me are presents that were hand made - cookies that someone baked for me, birthday card that someone wrote or even just wishes because someone remembered about my birthday. If someone really care about the price tag it is showing only his/her level.
Unknown said…
On the one hand simple topic but i must admit that really smart and usefull. Its easy to forget about discipline which is so important to keep balanced life.
Somehow we can program our minds and bodies. Small pleasure after hard day can teach us regularity and make our lifes easy and nice. One of the worst feeling is - as you mentioned - feeling of guilt I ll try to treat myself as You recommended to never feel it again.

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