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Week 6 (16-22.11) – A Complaint Free World

Can you imagine a world without complaining, gossiping, criticising? Me neither ;)

But there is an interesting project called “a complaint free world” started by Will Bowen that encourages us to make a new habit and for 21 days stop complaining, gossiping and criticising. An average person complains 15-30 times each day. Maybe the world would be nicer if we don’t? :)


To start your makeover, you need to get and wear a purple bracelet. You can purchase it on a website (all money is donated to other non-profit organizations). But in my opinion you can use anything to track your progress :)
Having a bracelet is very helpful, because anytime you say something forbidden you need to move the bracelet to the other arm and begin again. So every time you criticise or complain, you have to start counting the days from the beginning. 

The boundaries are not that stiff, you can decide what is forbidden and what’s not. The first rule is that you are not punished for anything you think, but for what you are saying, especially to other people. When it comes to criticising – only “negative” criticism is punished. Constructive criticism is fine :)

What do you think about this idea? Do you think the world would be better if people stopped complaining, gossiping or criticising that much? 
I think it is a very interesting concept but on the other hand sometimes I just must complain a little bit. It helps me share bad thoughts and “clean” my mind. But maybe it is a good trigger to stop?



Comments

Unknown said…
For us Poles complaining is the thing we receive form our ancestor in genetic code I believe that as a nation we love to complain and because of that I would like to complain about complaining. The most important thing in this topic is that in most of cases complaining doesn’t give anything- most of us do it without purpose of changing the situation, we do it just to release our emotions. And it’s good- we should release them because keeping them just for us is much worse. But the things we are missing are feedback and follow up. After every complain we should give our idea of changing the situation and try to change it.
Complaining is indeed very bad habit, that I also used to. I don’t know anyone who can deal without it. Some people wear bracelet, some make tattoos, some have wallpaper in phone and some have special figures. But it you want to keep this habit, you have to find other normal way of remembering. What if you will forgot for one day to take the bracelet with yourself? That is true that we need at least 21 days to bring new habit into our lives. But sometimes it is not long enough especially that we want to break our previous bad habit that was in our lives for decades.

Of course it would be better if people stopped comparing, gossiping and criticising so much, but it is hardly possible. Even in some people will succeed, other people will change their’s good habits into bad ones again. Why? Because you will be tired of listening to them. And they will sooner of later influence your willingness. Sharing bad thoughts is good idea, we should not keep our anger and frustration inside.
Julia Osiak said…
The world would be a happier place without all the complaints and negativity. I know that I'm guilty of complaining a lot, and I try to keep it down but just as you said, it is a method for letting off steam and coping with various situations. If i bottled up all the negative thoughts there would be a high chance that it'd simply explode one day :p
Also, if you think about it, complaining can be motivating sometimes. If we wouldn't criticize things that we don't like, there would be no change.
Unknown said…
In my opinion a bracelet is not necessary to stop complaining ;) But it’s a smart way to sell an item for sure ;)

I can agree that pointless complaining isn’t helpful for us or others but criticism on the other hand can be very constructive and is a way to show our opinions and evaluate ideas. I think that people are more and more afraid to criticize because of all the hyper sensitive “triggered” people. I don’t claim that people with real trauma can’t be triggered but I hate the notion that this word has became because of all the people that simply just can’t stand criticism or even people that just think differently.

Here is a video I saw this morning, it’s a bit over the top but it’s an interesting idea to show the way in which our society is supposedly heading:
Link
Unknown said…
The idea isn't that bad but the bracelet thing is just another way of selling people something they don't need. Why would you even want to wear a rubber band around your wrist?
Anyway I think that of course complaining doesn't bring anything new and obviously acting is better than pointless nagging. But criticism is valuable and unfortunately some people don't see the difference.
Unknown said…
Ohh that's true that we - as a nation - complain a lot! Sometimes it's just crazy when I hear people complaining about things, I would never even thought :D Very bad habit of ours :P
Unknown said…
That's true. I think it is just impossible to do :) But maybe at least a willingness for a change is good? I think that life would be a little better if everybody would at least try :) But yeah, it will be awfully tough
Unknown said…
In this technique we are allowed to give positive criticism :) but I agree with you. For me this is almost impossible to stop complaining 'for real'. I think that people just are like that, we need to complain to "letting off the steam" :)
Unknown said…
Haha I agree with the statement with the bracelet :) But you know, many people need a trigger, a special item to make something happen.
Very nice observation with the fact that we don't like to criticise and we are afraid that we offend someone. It is very important to let somebody get better. But you have to admit that you can criticise sam thing in 2 different ways. The one that is destructive and I don't really feel like it can be a nice trigger for a person to change(and this one is forbidden by this technique), and you can do it in a pleasent, nice and accurate way, that is better for both option -– the one is no aggressive, try to hold back bad emotion and angryness, and for another is just nicer to hear and to improve.

And thank you for your link. Very interesting point of view! Sometimes I feel like we are living in society when you can't say what you think because somebody will overreact, because he or she misunderstood you... Maybe not that much like in the movie haha :D
Unknown said…
I see your negative attitude :P I agree that bracelet is not necessary, but why are you saying that people mix up complaining with criticism? I think that criticism is good, when it's gently. And then it doesn't have anything in common with complaining. What do you think?
Unknown said…
I can’t imagin it.
Heh an average person complains 15-30 times each day but how often complains statistic Pole? Apparently we are the acrimonious nation.
Generally I think that it is good idea and it may be good fun.
On the one hand we may delude that the world will be better without our complaining, gossiping and criticizing but I think that often is better when we relieve emotions.
I wrote it and I read last part of your article ;)
I totally agree with it. sometimes I also just must complain a little bit.
Unknown said…
When I was writing the last sentence I was thinking how do other people feel when I complain and 'clean' my mind :D Maybe there is a better way to complain? :D Not to be so problematic for other people? Because sometimes when you only hear complaining it is very tiring :< So maybe we need to learn how to complain in a good way? haha :D
I think that this is a very good idea. We tend to find the very worst in any situation and we go over and over all the bad things that happen to us. I often catch myself on using complaining as a conversation starter or awkward silence filling. However, the majority of Poles find saying good things as bragging, so we just don’t do that to avoid jealousy. I try to compliment other people as much as I can. In my opinion it has a stronger effect on a person to hear something nice from a stranger (or from anyone that has no personal interest in saying such things to you) than from your family, friends or significant others. People close to you have a “mission” to make you feel better, so they say many compliments to you quite often. But when you hear “what a wonderful dress!” from an unknown girl in a bus, you can’t stop thinking about it. This is why I try to overcome my shyness and I sometimes say nice things to complete strangers.

I don’t like these opinion/idea wrist bands, so I won’t consider getting one, but generally it is a good concept and the world needs more kindness.

I would like to show you a new trend that I found out about yesterday. It is a part of reddit called “roast me”, where you upload your photo and are criticized hard for how you look like. You may roast others as soon as you get roasted yourself. People there actually enjoy being called names and laughed in their faces and mocking others. I hate this idea. Whet do you think about it?
Unknown said…
I think that we get rid of many bad emotions by complaining so it isn't completly bad, but obviously not in excess. I must admit that I complain quite often, but I still try to have a positive attitude and thinking all the time. I know that sounds a little paradoxical.
After all the rumors and negative criticism are really bad things. Such things can ruin someone's life even if some person is mentally weak.
I think a good idea would be telling each person you meet on a day something nice.
Even such small compliments and kind deeds make someone's day gets better and when we do these things also we make us feel better, so it's a mutual benefit :)
Unknown said…
" I often catch myself on using complaining as a conversation starter or awkward silence filling." ahahah me too! That's soo bad!
And yes, I even read an article about women that we are so brought up, that we are taught not to brag (not in a directly way).
I absolutely agree that hearing a good world from a stranger, not maybe complete but someone you kinda know and respect but is not your family :D is great thing. I also am trying to do so, I think this is so cool to find good things about another that doing an opposite.

According to reddit's "roast me" i have never heard about it, but it sounds and looks really awful... But you know, it's crazy to read a comment, but why do these people post their photos? They know what it would look like, don't they?
In general, there are so many BAD places in internet, it is so painful when you read all these stupid comments, written by haters, I wonder why do they do it? Besides it's stupid it's a giant waste of time :/ And I am not only talking about these 'roast me' thing, but also about many other places in internet that you just get cancer from reading all these stupid comments :D
Unknown said…
I think I totally got your point, I feel like in this point we are quite similar :) Sometimes I just must complain, but on the other hand I really like to think positive, and I feel like I am doing it "inside" :D But sometimes I do complain, but let's say it's for greater purpose - we are letting our inner positive spirit grow! #hellyeah
I love the idea :) Even something small can brighten somebody's day!
Unknown said…
It’s a good idea for both sides. But I don’t think explosive personalities can be able to sustain this kind of behaviour after 21 days trial. I can’t imagine myself being compliant free for such a long time.
Unknown said…
By complaining we often express some negative feeling that have to have cause. So this is the way people demonstrate dissatisfaction. Accumulated dissatisfaction may lead to decisions and actions which are triggers of change. I agree that in general complaining is bad habit, but there are situations when
by complaining we realise that something's wrong in our live and small revolution is needed. Following this logic - there are positive aspects of complaining, so why should we fight it.

Gossiping is our cultural tradition. It's unchangeable. There's no better way to recognize trust worthy person than checking whether he or she is gossiping. So once again, as a tool of bad people recognition,
gossiping got positive aspects.

It's hard to draw a line between positive and negative criticism. Harsh words always hurt. The ability to criticise without hurting is great skill hard to master. Probably empathy is a key. But again this is crucial aspect of learning process and we cant stop doing it.
Unknown said…
As Poles we often compain. We have this kind of mentality, psyche but it is also largely caused by economic and general living conditions. There is a theory that in countries where people have got more sun less compain. According to me this fact works looking at the southem countriens in Europe like Spain or Italy. But although surely as the old saying goes - the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence - I think they also complain.

It seems to me that in fact the world would be more beautiful if people stoped complaining because positive thinking infects. On the other hand, we should not stop complain completely because like any positive or negative feature, is it that we need - to motivate themselves to change their conditions. In line to thinking if something doesn't suit us and if we complain for something we will try and want to change it.
Precisely, it's a waste of time. You get roasted so you may write awful stuff about other people - what good does it make? What's the reasoning behind it?
Unknown said…
On the internet we can find a challenge, it's a 21 days without complaining, gossiping and criticizing. A lot of people try this and they said that it's really working, they felt good and they dont feel the need of complaining after all.
I think it works because, if people focus on good things and actions they are more happy and relaxed.
If you complaing and do nothing about it, it makes you feel worst, because you will think that you have problem and it's only growing. So if you want to complain about something, think what you can change to make it better or how you can deal with it, so you dont have to complain about it again.
I think many people here already stated my point of view. If your not complaining in such an excessive manner that people around you are annoyed, I don't think it's a really big problem. Complaining has many positive sides, like some people already said, and besides - any form of negativity can theoretically be called "complaining", and what would our lives be like without ever talking about negative things?

Besides, I don't know about you, but I know a few people who are such anti-complainers (for the lack of better words) that they annoy people around them even more than people who complain. You know - the ones who always discredit anything bad that happened in your life, telling you it's not a problem and that you should look on the bright side and that life is beautiful and there's no need to worry? :D
Unknown said…
don't want to say that I hate complain people because I sometime complain as well, but we Poles are soooo complain nation and especially old people! I can't stand when my Grandma complain about literally EVERYTHING :) . I always try to have a good mood and don't give up when everyone around me complain about their life Emotikon smile Especially during the November! :)
Unknown said…
I don't like to complain, I think it just makes you live more negative. You start thinking in negative mode and so on. So as for me, it is very necessary to find something good in every situation that happens. And just start thinking positively.
But I'm talking about thing that depends on me or happened by me.

Anyway, I think it is a very interesting project and it may help people that want to finish complaining, gossiping or criticising
Michal Kulesza said…
People say I'm complaining to much but after small talk they tend to believe me that I'm not complaining but pointing bad things :) Sometimes I've also provide them with ideas how to fix them so it's just more like constructive criticism rather than complaining.

In my opinion life would be too boring without complainers.
Unknown said…
Can't imagine such a world to be honest. Especially since complaining is a Polish national sport - we love to complain about almost everything and doing this in groups seems to strengthen the ties between people. I'm joking a bit of course, but there's some truth in that. Complaining too much is bad, so is criticizing, but the latter one isn't wrong by itself. Constructive criticism is fine, in my opinion it's necessary sometimes actually. The problem is that not all people are able to accept it, any of it.

A bracelet is a nice idea, but I don't see why it can't be something else - like a simple note or whatever object a person likes. It's a clever way to sell a product, I agree with Paulina on that. ;) Nice initiative though, something positive for a change.
Unknown said…
I encountered with this approach, when my superiors was a German.
Whenever we tried to explain to him that, for example failed our supplier, he claimed that we, Polish people, were constantly complains about various things that are independent of us. I do not know if he already knew the idea of Will Bowen, but his comments for me has helped to fight, at least a little bit, that our Polish manners.

Aleksander M said…
Where can I get one? You said "on a website" but either I am blind or the link must have been removed.

Honestly, this is one of the things that annoy me the most about Poland, or maybe rather Poles in general - and also one of the biggest differences that hit me when I was in the States. People out there are just so much more positive and happier about their lives as a result - realizing this changed my life in a way.

I recall there's been a similar initiative supported by Jurek Owsiak some time ago called "Nie mam focha" - I used to have their t-shirt. Have you ever heard of it?
Unknown said…
Funny. Well i live in Poland and there is now way for me to stop complaining. I can do it 25h/day. Why because i can. It's in my blood. And live is not as beautiful as i wish to. So complain stress out. When you complain you throw you emotions out. Don't hold it cous you will get depressed and even get sick. that's my opinion. Btw. i like complaining.
In Poland it’s very important to adopt a know complaints policy. Today to many people are to quick to became aggressive in Poland and are not kind in the comments, but this is changing with a growing society it has to become open and more ethical. I hope that my country will be more customer orientated because then they will be fewer complaints. Companies have to in Poland invest more money to develop customer service personnel and increase awareness of staff. This is a long term process but is necessary. It’s time to change our mentality
Unknown said…
A Complaint Free World is a very good idea. However, in my opinion a purple bracelet is unnecessary.
Of course World would be better if people stopped comparing, gossiping and criticising. However, it is impossible to achieve.

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