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week 8: TRUE FRIENDSHIP


"Friendship... is not something you learn at school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." - Muhammad Ali   


 When I am writing this presentation, it is  2nd  of May and it is my friend’s birthday. Her name is Klaudyna and she was my inspiration to choose this topic. 

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Everyone knows that friendship is an essential ingredient to lead a happy and successful life. Real friendship is a blessing. Friends are those people who do not have to be in our life, like a family, but they choose us to spend their time with. They make us feel special. You can say that lovers do the same thing, but do they?
In my opinion a sensual relationship is less important than friendship. We live in times when divorces happen so fast and so often. We change our partners like a pair of gloves. But we choose our friends carefully. We have only a few of them and we try to keep them close. True friendships stay with us for a lifetime. They are not influenced by distance or time. Like C.S. Lewis said: “Friendship… has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” Why? Why do you think friendship is so important? 

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I think that true friendship is so precious because we can be ourselves. A friend does not care about your background, your income, your race or profession. This type of love ignores your flaws. A friend is a companion in our failures more than in our triumphs. This special person accepts you and helps you become the best version of ­you. A true friend will never do anything to harm you and he will never let you down. However, I guess that the ultimate purpose of friendship is not that we have to improve ourselves but that we have the privilege of having a devoted and caring partner during this insane journey through life.
And the most important and beautiful thing in friendship is that it cannot be imposed on anyone in this world. It is no one’s duty to be my friend and I have no duty to be anyone else’s friends. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is not mandatory. We can live without it as we can live without art or philosophy, but what kind of life would it be? 

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Comments

Unknown said…
The friendship is a very important part of life I think. I agree with every your thought about it. That's why my parents and boyfriend are firstly my best friends and it is really important for me.
I agree that friendship is a very important part of our lives. It gives us the feeling of support and stability. Just as Svitlana, I consider my parents and my boyfriend my friends in the first place.

However, friendships differ because people are vary, too, and each of them needs something else. It's extremely hard to define a 'good friendship' - some people spend all their free time with their best friend, others may not meet for a few months and still be greatest friends.

I can't imagine my life without my best friends, it would be extremely dull and sad.
Unknown said…
It's really hard to comment on an article like that... As probably everybody here I think that friendship is a very important part of life. But in my opinion a good relationship is based on a friendship and I consider my partner to be one of my closest friends. I don't think there is any difference between my partner and my other friends (considering friendship stuff of course).

As usual I agree with Patrycja, I have a couple of really close friends and I see some of them almost every day and some I don't see often but we still stay in touch and are extremely close.
Unknown said…

I think that I'm on that life stage when I don't think that it's possible to keep having one best friend for the whole lifetime. People are appearing in our live, they stay for some time and go - I think that I've accepted that course of events. I fully disagree with the statement that nowadays we're changing our parters like gloves - when it comes to me, friends are constantly changing but the girlfriend remains the same (who is by the way kind of my best friend at the same time, so it discredits a little bit what I've said earlier :)). I think that now people are too selfish to care about others as much as it was years ago and now friendship means much less than it used to.
Unknown said…
Friendship is a very important thing and may have many different shades. This is why it is such a popular theme for many shows, sitcoms movies and books. I really enjoy watching these screen friendships evolve, for example in two popular sitcoms "Friends" and "How I Met Your Mother". These two are very focused on the subject (as it is present in most shows, but as a side plot) and show all the sides. It is also educative to watch these things, because the protagonists are put in different life situations and show how to cope with them.
I am not a very sociable person, so I don't have many close friends. I agree wih Paulina that a friendship with your partner is one of the most important things that build a healthy and happy relationship. I am always surprised when I find out that someone is with someone just for the looks or for the money. Or even if they are emotionally engaged, they cannot discuss freely about everything. And the relationship ends up being talked through with your girlfriends over coffee without the knowledge of your partner. I think that the best feeling about friendship is feeling at home. You may wear whatever you please, talk about anything you want and still you feel comfortable without this need of being perfect and happy on the outside. I guess everyone has this kind of feeling with their friends and in my opinion this is what everybody should look for in a relationship.
I really like this quote that "friends become our chosen family". This is very true as they are people that we choose to love and not the ones that we are obliged to love no matter what. The greatest thing is that we WANT to do this.
Dominika Suszek said…
Thank you so much! I agree that parents should be our friends and the best relationships base on friendship :)
Dominika Suszek said…
Last year my best friend moved to Bahrain, it is a small country in Persian Gulf. It was very hard for me at the beginning. We talk almost every day and she knows about every little thing that happens in my life. Though we live 6 000 kilometers apart she is still my best friends and I miss her very much every day.
Dominika Suszek said…
I agree that with time we change our friends. It happens because we alter society we live in. Nevertheless, I have some friends that are always with me and I hope they will always be a part of my life.
Dominika Suszek said…
I also do not understand relationships based on money. I cannot imagine myself living on my partner.
My favorite TV series about friendship is “The Big Bang Theory” and “Gossip Girl”. And my favorite movie about friendship is “Harry Potter” :D
Unknown said…
It is amazing how powerful friendship might be. I think it is awesome to be inspired by your friend. I also think that we should cherish this relationship. With friends everything is funnier and easier. Only true friends stay with you in a toughest moments of your life.
Unknown said…
I have best friend and I don't imagine the world without her. We spent together so much time, special moments. She understands me without words. I feel really comfortable in her presence. I can say her everything I want and don't think "what does she think about me afer I say it?". People said that friend is brother from another brother. I totally agree with that. We always have a lot of fun, really important are common memories. We always have topic to talk.
in my opinion I am a kind of person that can't life alone.
Dominika Suszek said…
I cannot imagine how my life would look like without my friends. As you said, we shared so many unforgettable moments together. Sometimes I cannot wait to tell my grandchildren about the craziest times with them :)
Unknown said…
“Everyone knows that friendship is an essential ingredient to lead a happy and successful life.” Well, I don’t. I’ve never had a true friend and I’m not able to be one of those. I rather have fellows and really good fellows. Nothing more. It would be really strange and even impossible having more than that to me. I have a heart of stone.
Unknown said…
nice tips :) it is interesting to study this field of psychology. I think partially we all have to develop new ideas. Each of us encounter different, unique situations every day and we are forced to act accordingly. This is a never ending process of learning and improvement :-)
Unknown said…
True friendships are one of the most valuable things we have in life. You can't buy friendship for money. I have around 6 close friends. Recently one of them turned his back on me and I really do miss him sometimes. But this also learned me to acknowledge it's absence.
Friendship is one of the most important things in our lives. It is also popular subject of philosophy thoughts. For instance Aristoteles claims that there exists few kinds of friendship - the ideal one(when we do not expect anything as income) and few others that has some goal. It is also kind of our self-esteem evaluation. Believing that someone cares about us we personally feel more important.

We can see the difference of friendship with people we know. The relation with each person is unique. Sometimes people look for long talks about everything from recent activities but some for talks about complicated situations or looking for opinion in difficult topics.
Dominika Suszek said…
I think this comment was supposed to be posted under „How to produce ideas”, wasn’t it ;)? However, thank you. I also think it is a very interesting field to study. Actually, I find a great pleasure to read and learn about psychology of personal development.
Dominika Suszek said…
Well… I always had many friends so I am sorry but I do not understand your point of view. I hope you will find a true friend because it is really a wonderful relationship :).
Dominika Suszek said…
Exactly, friends are those precious persons that money cannot buy. I keep my fingers crossed for your and your friend reconcile!
Dominika Suszek said…
Here is a very interesting article about Aristotle’s philosophy of friendship: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/09/19/aristotle-friendship/
MartaSB said…
For me friendship is very important, but I'm assigning the word "friend" to some person only when it is really an extraordinatry relationship. I believe it is better to have only few very close friends than a 'pack', because then the relationships are deeper and more personal. It's a very pleasant feeling when you are sure that your friend is always there for you (and you are there for him or her as well). It's like extending your family :)
Unknown said…
Yeah I totally agree with you. Naming someone a "friend" means a lot to me and I rather don't and obviously can't overuse this word.
Unknown said…
Indeed! My mom definitely is one of my best friend for sure, in my opinion it is extremely important relationship. I also think that a "sensual relationship" should be based on genuine friendship :)
Julia Osiak said…
Recently I read a couple of articles comparing the early 20's you to the late 20's you. One of the subjects that appeared frequently was the subject of friendship. Most of these articles stated that as we get older and have more life experience we naturally substitute many acquaintances with a couple of close friends. I'm not in my late 20's yet (luckily), but I already noticed this change. There is less and less people whom I call my good friends and only two or three who are my absolute best friends. I know that I could live without them, but I choose and do my best to keep them in my life. I sign my name without hesitation under the statement that our true friends are the family that we chose.
Unknown said…
“Everyone knows that friendship is an essential ingredient to lead a happy and successful life.” I'd rather say that you and your attitude to life is this 'essential ingredient', not your friends. When you're happy with yourself, you don't need to be surrounded by anyone to have a happy and succcessful life. But I admit that it's nice to share the important moments with someone, no matter if it's best friend, partner or even parent. The feeling of being a part of someone's life means a lot.
Unknown said…
Friendship is very important indeed and I must say I like this statement that friends are like our chosen family. Quite accurate in my opinion. :)

I'm not very sociable, so I have only a few close friends, but I really trust them and I would never want to exchange them for anyone else. I simply can't imagine a world without them. We may not see each other very often, but we keep in touch thanks to the Internet. When we do meet I'm the happiest person ever.
rf. said…
I believe that naming relationships is a difficulty we're forced into by the limits of language and perception. For me every relationship is special and unique, of course I'd name some of them 'friendships' but each bond that we have with someone else is a whole separate domain. And basically yeah - we live in society, so human relationships are essential in our lives. And there is no exception to the rule - even people that stand out and think they're outside society are simply part of that specific group, nothing special or out of ordinary ;)
In my opinion nowadays having a true friend is very difficult. I think I have a problem with 100% trust. I have only one best friend, but sometimes I wonder if this relationship is really true friendship. I know that everyone has good and bad days, so I believe after all that my friend is my best authentic friend :)
Freindship is really important because you can actually choose a friend. You can choose wuth who do you want to spend time, to who you want to talk to and so on...You can have fun with them you can joke around but n the other hand you can count on them (if the are really good frined) and you can talk to them when you have a probelm. Best friends are like a member of your family which you can actually choose. One can have a lot of friends but only few best friends....Dominika do you agree?
Why do you wonder if this relationship is real?
I am quite the opposite, I am cosiable, I like to be around people and meet new people but I am convinced that it is impossible to have many best friend because you cannot spend quality time with them all, so I have few best freinds, more firends and many acquaintances....
I agree that eith best firends you always have this feeling that even though you havn't seen tehm for a long time and you meet at last it's like they never left. And Internet is such a great tool for maintaining contact....
I agree that a freind is and should always be there for you, and what is more I am sure that a real firend is someone who totally gets you, you can be yourself around him/her. I am convinced that it is better to have fewer best firends but I think that it is also nice to have many firends...:)
People come and people go..Thats the circle of life. But I also keep my fingers crossed. The most important thing is to acknowledge if it if worth to fight for, because somethimes it really is:)
Michal Kulesza said…
In my opinion you've made 2 best articles so far. Consider blogging regulary please :)

Friendship is really important as you wrote. It helps us to develop, to show our mistakes before others would notice or prevent them to happen.

Definitely life without it wouldn't be... life. Just some kind of existence.
Hahaha Dominika you should definately share one cray story with us;)
"Brother from another mother" totally agree on that. Me and my best fiernd we say that we have the same brains:D
It is really cool when you have friends for a long time and you can refer to all the thing you have done together of to see some old pictures:D
Dominika a like the picture of Blair and Serena. That was a cray friendship beetwen these two. Ps. I used to love watching Gossip Girl and them talking about each episode with my besties:)
IzabelaSzumen said…
True, true, true :) Normally I make a friendships with boys and only one girl which i called wife Ocha, we know each other since we were in fifth grade and this is a endless love. But the tricky thing about friendships between boys and girls in my case, is that after all we always try to be in relationship and when the relationships where over... well, there was no love or friendship either :) Conclusion : never try to love your friend? How can we allow ourselves to something like this happen? :)
Unknown said…
Speaking of movies about friendship - today I watched "Love, Rosie", a movie about two best friends since they were little that fall for each other, but have to wait a looong time till they get there (like Ron and Hermione a little bit;) - I'm a huge HP fan). It may be predictable and full of cliches, but I really liked it, it had a lot of charm.
Dominika Suszek said…
Iza, I absolutely agree with you! Some relations just are not worth our time..
Dominika Suszek said…
Gossip Girl was my first beloved TV series!!! I love Blair ☺ She is one of the greatest fictional characters ever.
Dominika Suszek said…
Yes! Exactly, that was my point of this presentation! True friendship is something very different than friendship. I have only two very best friends. They are my family and they know my every secret. I have very many close friends but it is just not the same. Every time I do something embarrassing or stupid I know that those two girls will always stand by me. I know they will never say a bad word about me and they wish me all the best. I am not so sure if rest of my good friends would act the same way.
Dominika Suszek said…
Omg, that is one of the nicest compliments ever :) :) Honestly, I really like writing so maybe one day I will start my own blog. However, first I have to finish my thesis…
In my opinion true friendship is very hard to come by. So far in my life I can count two people whom I consider to be my good friends (excluding family, of course) among dozens of other people that are simply acquaintances.
True friendship is really important and a treasure to hold onto. It's just easier and more fun fighting with the world on a daily basis with your mates :)
I agree that friendship is very important for almost everybody. I don't agree with the part about lovers - a true relationship between two people must be much more than a friendship. If your relationship is purely sensual and your partner is not your best friend then you are basically doing it wrong.
That's one of the reasons why there are so many divorces. People don't understand that the fact that a person is simply attractive for you doesn't mean that you should marry that person. You need to get to know your partner very well and accept their flaws - just like in friendship. In fact true love has every element of friendship and much more. I'm not saying that the sensual part is unimportant, just that it's not enough to form a lasting relationship.
Unknown said…
I agree with all comments that having a true friend these days is very difficult, but it's possible. It's very important to have someone to share your secrets with. So everyone should work hard on the relationship with their friends and be understanding to them.
Unknown said…
I like the quotation opening your presentation. Sometimes people forget what real friendship means. It's great to have someone who have the same point of view, similar sense of humour - everyone needs that. What I appreciate the most in this relation? Accepting friend as he is, with all these human imprefections.

This topic reminds me another saying "True friends meet in poverty". I became convinced of this, when I found myself in difficult situation. Me and my ex best friend were unseparable. One day she dissapointed me, when I needed her - that's why I connoted that quotation. Another thing is that friend should be glad of your happiness or success, generally jealousy destroys every relation.
Marcin Lyzwa said…
Generally I agree with your thesis, but I think your partner should also be your best friend. Friendship is very important part in our lives and it is hard to find true friend, a friend in need is a friend indeed, especially nowadays when personal success is the most important.
I have a feeling that now it is to late to find true friend and those true ones were met in the childhood. I've met my best pal 17 years ago and we're still
friends. In my opinion only if you grow up with someone or go through hard time(war etc.) you have a strong enogh foundation to become friends for life.
The great thing about true friendship is that it doesn't matter if you don't see your friend for a long time, thre's always something to talk about.
Additionaly, I think that there is no real love without friendship.
How long are you friends to each other?
Unknown said…
Friends are important. Maybe even they are the most important thing in ones life. A true friendship doesn't happen often nor doesn't come easily. It has to be hardened by problems and difficult situations. If it survives you will know that you have a friend. A new member of your family. But was it a conscious choice? I'm not sure.
Unknown said…
Your presentation is also great topic. Thanks for it. You moved on two very important issue. At this time true fiendship is very hard to find, but it is possible I think. I have only one best friend because I don't believe in many friedns. In my opinion the best might be only one. I have this one and I really glad. We understand ourselves withoust words. We, though many kilometres which our divide, love the second one like a sister. I don't imagine world without her.
Unknown said…
I completely agree with article. True friendship is something special. Each may have a slightly different definition of friendship. For me, a friend is a person with whom I can rely, with which I feel good and who knows my greatest secrets.
I have a few friends whom I know since childhood and with whom I experienced the best moments of my life :)
Unknown said…
Friendship is very important in our lives. If you can say that you have a real friend (for good and for bad) - you must be very happy becuase true friendships are rare..
rue friendship is vital for every kind of human. It's a person to say just say a word, to confess, to take a piece of adivce from and just spend some time with. Lonely we might be sad, depressed, and not satisfied at all. We need sb to keep a close, mental connection with :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adele said…

Most women don’t know this... but even if a man is attracted to you or even says he loves you...

...chances are he still feels something is missing.

Because there is a secret, emotional need hidden within his heart that he craves more than anything.

And in most cases, is not being met.

The problem is, if it’s not being met, his attention will inevitably wander until he finds a woman who can give it to him.

Maybe one in a thousand women knows how to do this instinctively, and they usually rise to unbelievable levels of influence and fame.

But most women, or men for that matter, don’t even know it exists.

On the other hand, when you have this 1 simple secret...

You won’t believe the shocking effect you have on the men in your life.

Here’s a video I discovered that shows you exactly what I’m talking about:

Here’s how: ==> He’ll give his heart to the first woman who does THIS... ]

Best,

Ana
anniemaria192 said…
"I enjoy reading your post guys,,, just keep posting. BFF Quotes
"

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