Perfecting one little part of a bigger piece of work for hours even if it
should only take a minute. Looking at your project and thinking "it could
be better". The feeling of anger after doing something stupid. Are you
familiar with any of these feelings? These are the marks of a perfectionist who
is critical of his/her mistakes and the mistakes of others. These are the marks
of a person who strives to be the best at everything he does.
Why do people want to be perfect?
Many people have some traits of a perfectionist, some more than others, but it
is believed that perfectionism is a learned behavioral adaptation.
For example,
if someone does something well, there is a high probability that that person
would feel proud and self satisfied with him or herself. The self-esteem would
rise and the feeling of accomplishment would make one feel little more worthy
of respect. The subconscious mind forms a false belief that when one does
something right, he or she is more worthy and valuable. In some cases the
thought of the need to do better starts implanting itself covering the basic
need of striving to become a valuable human being. The threat of such a pattern
of thinking is that the person's confidence starts depending on his or her
achievements and success. It means that when one fails at something his or her
self confidence highly decreases which basically means that it becomes unstable
and leads to a fear of failure. When such a person fails he or she feels
worthless.
(Source:
http://nsunews.nova.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Perfect-score.jpg)
Another example of how people
could become perfectionists is the way they were brought up. In other words
parents or teachers can imprint the idea that a person is as good as his or her
actions, by praising a child for answering correctly in class or for good
behavior. Yet another way for a person to become a perfectionist is ones search
for individuality. There are people who identify themselves very closely with
their behavior and actions and they think that their good actions make them
special. A good example of such a person would be a top of his or her class student.
Such a student is at a loss receiving a fail. S/he starts having doubts about
his or her identity. The big problem with this kind of perfectionist is that he
or she views the world through labels such as “Number one student”, The
intelligent person”, “the cab driver” and believes that the best label possible
makes one special.
There also are perfectionists whose
entire purpose of living is attaining perfection. Not striving for perfection would nullify the whole purpose of existence.
Such a view results in disappointment.
Since perfectionism is a learned habit of the mind, it means that
one would need to break the old habit and establish a new one. It can be done
by challenging old beliefs and establishing new healthier ways of thinking.
Changing patterns is a lengthy process which will need one’s patience and
strong will. But it is necessary for overcoming perfectionism.
Questions:
1. Do you consider yourself a
perfectionist? Take the test at http://www.psychologies.co.uk/tests/are-you-a-perfectionist.html
2. Do you think that being a
perfectionist is a bad thing?
3. What is the best way to achieve success without losing yourself
in the pursuit?
Comments
The one that was the essence of that for me was the report question and the suggested answer: "You checked it several times to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything". I believe that defines a perfectionist. Making sure everything is fine in crucial situations, double checking everything and paying a lot of attention to make it as good as possible.
I took the test, like I mentioned, and this was my result:
"HE WHO DARES, WINS
Your self-confidence allows you to set – and attain – ambitious goals. You certainly know how to be efficient. You know how to evaluate a task and invest the necessary time in order to accomplish it. Getting on with things makes you neither stressed, nor anxious or nervous. The apparent ease with which you do things conceals self-discipline, and can be disconcerting for others. When your interests are threatened you will react quickly and won't hesitate to raise your voice, if necessary, to let others know they are overstepping the mark. No one likes failure, but it doesn't knock you off course or make you question your actions because you know how to reconcile yourself to things. Accustomed to speed and efficiency, and strengthened by self-esteem, you sometimes find it difficult to understand those who don’t function like you do, who lack self-assurance and who doubt their abilities. When faced with this sort of person you risk losing your patience and you might even see whether you can get them to do things your way. It’s admirable what you demand of yourself when circumstances require it, but you might have to adapt the way you act so that you can march to the same tune as those around you, whether it’s at home or at work. After all, isn't it more important that the greatest number of people cross the finish line together as possible?"
I think it's only partially correct. I am not easy to anger or make upset. At the same time I think I'm partially a perfectionist. I used to be a hardcore perfectionist - when I was given a task I was double checking everything and making sure that whatever I do is as close to perfect as possible. With time, however, I adjusted my habits and started being more flexible - tying to do everything as good as possible in a TIME given, spending just enough time on a given task depending on how much time it requires. That allows me to control my perfectionism and manage time most efficiently - doing everything as well as possible in a time I have for it. I believe that's the best of both worlds for me.
Do I think that being a perfectionist is a bad thing? Sometimes this causes difficulties in private life. Mainly when it comes to the contacts with the family. People having an inner need to do everything as best as they can, don’t have an easy life. Often, they do it at the expense of friends, family, who has the right to irritate the rigor of perfection. Perfectionist requires a lot from him/herself, but this doesn’t stop - also requires a lot from others, and even more from family members. Sometimes it’s hard to understand that the other person simply doesn’t want to do something. It isn’t easy to reach a compromise because both sides need to make concessions of their habits or beliefs.
Fortunately, in private life I'm much more flexible than at work. So I'm only in half a perfectionist - if such a statement exists at all;)
If it comes to the test – I took one, and my result was the same as of @Simon. My self-confidence allows me to set – and attain – ambitious goals. I certainly know how to be efficient, and I know how to evaluate a task and invest the necessary time in order to accomplish it and so on. Sounds good ;)
Being a perfectionist take a lot effort and time and often does not give any benefits. What is more I think it makes people sad, unsatisfied and disappointed, because we can’t be perfect or even the best all the time. What is more being the best at something doesn't mean being perfect. I consider perfectionism as destructive. Maybe there are people who feel well with such approach. Although sometimes it might be hard to cooperate with them, I don’t mind it. Everyone has their own way of life.
To me there is no general rule to achieve success. It would be too easy… There are many different examples. Some people have luck and other work hard and constantly of whole their life.
2. Again, that depends. By being a perfectionist, you can accomplish an impossible, like Steve Jobs with Mac and iPhone, iPod etc. But it can also stop you from doing anything, because you feel that you'll fail from the beggining... maybe that's why I have such a problem with my dyploma...
3. I have no idea, but I would start with asking others for help... that's the only thing I can think of...
@Sylwia Perfectionism is destructive, indeed. I honestly envy people who don't take everything that serious because it causes a lot of stress. But I'm sure if you care about something very much you want it to be perfect :)
@Dalvia The problem where to start is the worst. Personally, I want to do 10 things at once and I already imagine the finished result. And there are things that I'd like to do at the time I should do something important... And that's why perfectionism deprives you of your sleep.
I have my one golden rule. Do all things for 80% and leave the rest for later. Very often, eighty percent is the most important and profitable. I can quickly gather feedback and have the opportunity to do better.
Is it perfectionism? Probably not, but who cares? :P
Each task, thing, idea, etc. is different and you have to approach it wisely. You probably don't need to do everything perfectly =)
I’m not a perfectionist (at least I hope so), but I have this feeling that there is still a lot to be done. No matter how much I do, I still feel I could do more…
However, when I fail to do something, I do not break down. At least not always :) I guess it’s because of my upbringing – I’m happy that my mom never expected me to get the best grades, there was no pressure on me. I believe that being a perfectionist is bad for you.
Punctuality was mentioned in the test, and I’m very strict when it comes to this! I don’t like people who are always late, and I always do my best to arrive on time.
For me, being late means no respect for others.
Being a future interior designer, I am trying to be perfectionist, cause in this specialty there is no place for mistakes.
It is hard to say. I thought that I will just test myself. Apparently I often set myself ambitious goals. I also can be hard on myself if I do something wrong. I always try to go for the first place. There is no middle between bad and good for me. You rather do something totally good or totally bad. What's enough for others might not be satisfying for me.
2. Do you think that being a perfectionist is a bad thing?
It could be. However generally its something good. Would you not want to have your employees to be perfectionists? Hmm i guess its depends. Perfection can take more time. If a Quality is what we really looking for then yes. If the quantity is more important to us, than probably no.
3. What is the best way to achieve success without losing yourself in the pursuit?
We would have to defined our goals first before we would be able to answer this question. If my goal would be to be the best... then pursuit is inevitable. If my goal is to finish this project or get some score that we could achieve this by organizing our work and do only what is really important.
@Maria That's very important what you mentioned - the world is expect you to be better and better. I think because of that we're now experiencing many modern diseases like workaholism or anorexia. Perfectionism itself can be considered as a disease.
@Patryk Długaszek That's true, although you can be good at something and not being a perfectionist at the same time.
I did a test and my result is "He who dares, wins". I partly agree with the result. From my point of view everybody should go to perfection. If you are a perfectionist you are doing things properly which gives you some kind of status. In time, this status brings will have positive results in work and everyday life. However, too exaggerated perfectionism can cause it, we will not be able to finish just the one task because we believe that it is not perfect. In my view, the pursuit of perfection is a positive goal. I think the best way to achieve success without losing anything is to fix a clear and strong division between the work time and the time when we rest. But sometimes we should be more flexible in our demands towards perfection.
I get really annoyed when people do their work badly and it happens way too often. The worst that can happen is when someone sends me information about a project that I have to process. Do I send it back if it's full of errors or fix them myself? Being such a person has also forced me to work for a company. There are deadlines I cannot avoid by saying that a product is not finished. Not only does it mean I have to suppress my bad habit but also that I have to be smarter at what I do and communicate exactly what I'm doing with the project. I have to refocus constantly which is good but also makes me feel less satisfied with the final outcome.
2 I think that being a hundred percent perfectionist can be very tiring in everyday life. When the time spent with friends we turn to the field for the next win or the time spent with family becomes shorter than the time spent at work and home, we must consider whether we want our lives to be like this.
3 Do not torture yourself perfect thinking: "... I have to be smarter, better. I do the best. "I think you have to set priorities. Ask yourself what is most important in my life. Sometimes I let it go. and most importantly to support your success and happiness, but not perfectionism.
i'm not shure it's good. I thing i can be really tired. when u are perfectionist i think u spend most of time on made everything around perfect, and lost time to fun :<
I think the best way to live is to find a banalnce, betwen perfectionist and chaos.
Anyway, perfectionism is definitely not a bad thing, not in general. I just think that it's characteristic that one might or might not have and in some situations it is good, while in some it's more of a problem. It's good do be a perfectionist when you are, say, a painter, but not when you work making burgers in McDonalds. Obviously losing yourself in this strife foe perfection is a bad thing and think the best way to avoid that is spending time with other people, friends, family or simply people who like you and with whom you don't have to try so hard.
2. It really depends on situation, person. It can be useful in general but like I said it depends.
3. I think pursuing success or perfection can not be only thing in life. Apart that there should be time to rest and having fun.