Here is a video about miscommunication:
Questions:
1. Do you find yourself arguing with other people, later to find out that it was a simple
misunderstanding?
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and
appropriately?
Comments
When we are getting into an argument, it is because we consider ourselves knowledgeable about the problem and we desire that our resolve can be taken into account.
This participation, even though it could seem justified, it might not be necessarily right thing to do.
We need to remember, that we might hurt other people, even if they could be wrong.
Too many times happened to me, that only after the argument I could see a polite way of out the problem.
Mentioned tips indeed might come hepful, but in my opinion greatest ally in avoiding arguments
is ability to critically assess the situation and rid yourself of negative emotions.
Even if you feel, you are right, remember that you can be wrong too...
Most of the people forget this in the heat of the moment, thus arguments are born.
2. Yes, they are indeed helpful. If we think about them for a moment, we could apply these tips to many past situations when we misunderstood somebody. Personally, I think I have to focus on rule 4 because we can't always reach an agreement - there are so many opinions on different topics, that it is very easy to find a person, who thinks the opposite.
3. There are for sure many things that make communication between people tough. One thing I'd like to mention is the mentality of being an expert - I read an article on the internet, so I know everything! It can come together with ignorance of evidence, facts resulting in telling that everybody is wrong, and only I am right. I think each of us knows at least one person who is such an 'expert'.
I used to argue with people a lot, because I heard the words they said, I didn’t like them so I decided to say something. The other person got angry at what I said, so we started arguing. The whole point was that none of the sides of the conflict decided to fully listen and analyze the statements of their interlocutor. That’s way I used to find myself wasting a lot of time, discussing and arguing over some useless things, which we could all avoid just by trying to understand the other person, to talk more and analyze instead of fighting over a huge misunderstanding.
The tips mentioned in the end of the video are really useful, especially the one about assuming that our perception is the objective truth. This is another reason for all the conflicts and misunderstandings, people just don’t want to accept the fact that they might be wrong, that someone might have different opinion on something.
All in all, I think that people can’t communicate and exchange their views because they don’t really want to understand the person they are talking to, they don’t have time for it and for getting to know with whom they are talking. Sometimes, when you know someone well and they say something wrong, all the other people get upset, but you you don’t because you know what that meant, because you know the person. In my opinion, most of the misunderstandings come from not knowing each other well enough to actually understand or want to understand the other person.
2. Of course yes. Each of us is different and due to our personality we perceive different issues differently and convey what we think differently. Above all, we must describe exactly what we mean - our interlocutor cannot see our thoughts. We must also remember not to misinterpret someone else's words and behaviors - if something is unclear, we must culturally and patiently point out that something is unclear.
3. As I mentioned in one of the threads under the article sent by the professor, most people engage in various discussions not to exchange views, but to draw the interlocutor to their ideological side. For them, the discussion is not a worthwhile debate, but a mere clash. Their goal is to win such a skirmish, and if they fail, they get emotional.
I generally agree that there is something like heat of the moment but maybe if people would be thought to justify their own opinions, base on facts or even dig deeper into some problems the discussions would be less heated or even agressive? In my opinion most of people have their say on almost every possible topic despite the fact that their knowledge about it is shallow.
2. Yes, that is very good point. If we would aproach discussions in that way maybe it would be easier not to get angry at someone. I think that might even lead to compromise in some cases because we would be mentally prepared that some person might have different point of view and that this is not necessarily wrong.
3. Definitely you are right. That is what I said in response to Krzysztof in the comment above. Maybe that is a paradox but in my opinion the fact that we have such easy access to knowledge, there are so many articles, papers and so on, people become more ignorant. They heard of something so suddenly they become experts.
That is great point and thanks for highlighting that. I agree with the opinion that we often argue about meaningless things. Sometimes during or after an argue, I realize that both, me and the other person, had same thing in mind but we just chose words that we didn't like. Therefore the misunderstanding took place and lead to some harsh words.
You are definitely right about the importance of the ego in conversation. I can agree with your observation. I think that people can have big ego because they don't discuss with other poeple. Therefore they can think that all of their opinions are true and just right. I think that it is very important to hear from someone that might undermine your opinion. Sometimes you should undermine yourself and check facts or maybe read about the problem from other sources. That is very importnat especially in politics discussions.
In my group of friends, a stormy discussion can go on forever. I think that each of them knows this phenomenon when interlocutors stop listening and only express their opinion. Then I love to see them begin to understand that they have gotten caught up in such an unproductive discussion.
What's interesting is that even if you are aware of these communication mechanisms, you can fall into such a trap. Emotions are the main cause of problems in effective communication and receiving a message. People make assumptions as they speak and listen, and they often simplify what they say, leaving some topics unclear. On the other hand, there are times when people add the rest of the story or extrapolate their own vision of the world to someone else. Practice in discussing and persuading people can make us better orators, and our messages will reach the audience more precisely.
Not with all of them, but definitely with the ones closest to my heart. I found out that I am a great listener, when I don't know who my speaker is, or if the person is not someone who has big impact on me. Actually I think that it depends on emotions. If I truly care for someones opinion it is hard for me to hold back emotions when a misunderstanding appears. We start arguing, the quarrel can last even a few hours just to find out at the end that we think the same, just the words or way of expression is different.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
I find them useful, but hard to implement in some cases. I personally believe that avoiding the conflicts is cool, but they are needed at some point. We need to get rid of negative emotions, even if it's by the argument, it's in most cases clearing the air between people involved. The most useful tips in my case are: active listening and, connected with that, analysing what the other person is trying to express. I really hate talking to a person, that is clearly not involved in our conversation. It results in anger and another misunderstanding, because it's hard to understand what other person is saying, when you are at this time actively watching a movie, or even worse, texting with someone else.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and
appropriately?
It depends on many factors involved in conversation. Sometimes it follows their personal beliefs, on which they can't find a compromise. Another example is the way they're expressing feelings. Another one is simply being unable to understand others perspective. Maybe we should tell less, and think more to avoid conflicts. Also being polite can end somewhere, when your speaker is provoking you in non-polite way, or when you see that he is not listening to you at all.
2. Yes, I definitely do. I especially like the second one, about not only listening with ears and eyes but also with the gut. Will 100% agree that communication is not only about words.
3. Well. looking at it from the psychology side, people are extremely self-orientated. I don't mean it in a bad way, it's just how our brains work. Most of the time people think about themself, how they present themself, what others think about them, and so on. That's completely normal and natural. So, sometimes people might forget about the feelings of others or miscommunicate the intention, Sometimes we don't want to hurt others when we say something and we think that it's obvious when in reality it's not but we just forget to remember about that.
Unfortunately, I do find myself in silly arguments with others over a minor, simple misunderstanding. Especially when it’s a situation with a lot of emotions involved, you stop to think rationally and judge way too quickly, you can overreact and make opinions in seconds, without diving deeper into the problem. But when I do find myself in such situation, and I realize my mistake or the mistake of both sides, I just try to explain it and admit that I was wrong. I think honesty is the basis of relations with anyone; if you’ve made a mistake, just say that you did. It’s absolutely human to be wrong, but lying about it is way worse than the wrong decision you’ve made in the first place.
I think those tips are really good and useful. And you can sum this up as just being calm, polite, and understanding towards people you’re communicating with. It’s really important to just remember, that you’re not here to fight with everyone. People with different points of view can have problems with understanding yours, but it doesn’t mean they want to hurt you or something. And yes, it’s really important to not only listen, but to see – observe the person you’re communicating with. Sometimes people are saying something wrong, but their body language doesn’t state any wrong intentions, or states the fact that they’re upset or have been hurt somehow.
And I think it’s because of the lack of respect towards other people, and also, nowadays society is so driven by negativity, bad news, scandals, tragedies, that they see evil everywhere. If we just started thinking more positively, maybe we wouldn’t see insults everywhere, we would stop arguing in rude ways. Communication is harder, when you’re negative towards the second person from the start. Besides, I think in the era of common Internet availability and a possibility of saying ANYTHING without much consequences (for example physical, like getting into a fist fight, or getting arrested for 48 hours) creates a lot of “trolls” and people living just to insult others. Those people aren’t listening, reading carefully, they’re out there just for the sake of the fight. But because of no real punishment, they’ve become careless about other people’s feelings, sometimes even in real life.
2. Yes, of course. The main point of the video is to basically stop making false presumptions and to take your time and clarify things.
3. I think that's mainly because of the social media culture. These days people are so used to engage in the different kinds of conflicts on facebook and other internet places with their "important" point of view, that this culture gradually leaks in everyday life.
2. Of course I find those tips useful and I'll try to remember about them.
3. I think proper communication may be difficult becouse conversations are connected with emotions and willnes to change sb's approach. And by the time it may became a game, or even a buttle. And it is also hard to consider oneself approach as a mistaken one.
But I think nowadays it's important to focuse about communication, especially to ourselws.
I agree with most of the points made in the video. It really boils down to being open-minded and not letting your emotions take over. Having a polite conversation with anyone, even your opponents, is key.
As I mentioned above, I think that letting one's emotions speak for them makes matters even worse, because everyone has emotions that can be very different. And those differences can originate from different needs and goals that people have. To settle with some kind of agreement you have to understand other people's needs and goals, not force other people to understand yours.
2) The last two tips seemed to be the most practical ones because the first two seemed to just repeat the obvious. I am a little proud of myself that those two last tips were something that I have always been aware of and I always try to actually use those rules. I know that I my point of view is not the only right one.
3) Very often people tend to suggest that if someone's view on the world is different that means that he/she is simply wrong and should be let know about that and their mind should be changed. That makes the other side frustrated and the same process begins to appear on both of the sides. That's sad but true.
1. Do you find yourself arguing with other people, later to find out that it was a simple misunderstanding?
I always try to make sure what someone meant before I accuse someone, but still there are situations in which there is information and unpleasant situations due to inaccurate transmission of information.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
Of course, such tips are important.
It is important to make sure the other party understands what is being communicated. An example would be the work of technical support. When a client reports a problem to us, it is worth asking a few additional questions to make sure that this is what the person wanted to convey to us. In addition, you can tell how you understand what someone said to you and ask if this is what it is about.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and appropriately?
People are usually not patient and expect everyone to think the same way they think themselves. Therefore, when there is a situation that something is more complicated, the facts come out that it did not turn out exactly as it was supposed to be.
The problem agitated in your article is crucial. Being able to clearly describe the problem and communicate in a proper way, adapted to the another speaker are a desired skills.
Personally I dont think so that I argue much with other people. When something is not clear enough I tend to clarify it calmly, maybe there is some misunderstanding that's need to be clarified.
Tips presented in the video are useful in my opinion. We should remember that communication is a two way stream, and additionaly we should make sure that the view presented by us is understandable enough for the co-speaker for example simply by asking him. Rushing to present our opinions/explain something is not a good solution - some misunderstandings can occur.
I think most of people can't communicate and exchange their views politely and appropriately because of two reasons:
- they are probably driven by emotions
- their vision is presented not clear enough
I very rarely argue with other people. I'm aware that a given situation may be completely different from my point of view than from the point of view of my interlocutor. Everything depends on our beliefs, religion, and related facts to situation about we don't know enough. There are many variables we have to take this into account.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
Yes, in the video it's said that both parties in communication should take an active part in the conversation through words, eyesight and posture. In the video I found very important words "don't assume that your understanding of the situation is objective truth". I fully subscribe to this statement.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and appropriately?
This is determined by the emotions that prevail at the moment and communication errors on both sides. Each person needs to be listened to, and should be given due attention. so often we lack empathy and understanding for other people. I think the most important in good communication is telling yourself everything in advance so that emotions don't accumulate and never explode.
In my opinion, the video makes some pretty obvious statements. There are two or more people in communication and the course of communication depends on the skills of each of them. Interpretation, our experiences, the relationship between the interlocutors - it all has an impact. I think that being able to have a good conversation is something we practice all our lives.
I disagree with the statement that people cannot communicate and exchange views politely and appropriately. Of course it is difficult, but it all depends on our attitude and willingness. As I’ve already written, we learn the principles of good communication throughout our lives. We must remember that each of us has the right to our own opinion. Sometimes it’s difficult not to get carried away if someone disagrees with us. However, this doesn’t mean that we are not able to communicate appropriately.
Yes, I think active listening is the most important one. But all of them are worth remembering - it might save ones trouble in the future.
It's not always the case. Usually, in TV interviews there is a normal and cultural discussion. But take a look at Twitter or Reddit. There is no understanding of others or willingness to understand them. But maybe it's easier to argue on social media when you don't see another person's face?
Of course, I do. I try to avoid it at all costs. I try to be mindful during heated discussions and address doubts about my current beliefs.
Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
Sure! Listening to myself is something, that is crucial for me. When I perceive that I feel anger or "disgust", I know that I should step back and think for a moment.
Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and appropriately?
Because they are not trying to understand, but rather shout out their point of view.
I find those tips very useful, especially the “that’s how I see the problem, how you see it?”. I think It is a very good way to understand my interlocutor.
I think that when I care a lot about a topic I’m talking about I get emotional and I just want people to listen to me and agree with me. But other people that I’m talking to want it as well, so everyone just wants to share their opinion and nobody listens to others. In this situation, it is really easy to get confused and misunderstand what the other person is trying to say.
Yes, I think it's a human thing, but I when arguing I try to not argue for the sake of winning the argument, but more to understand the other person and try to reach out a consensus.
2.
Yes, I thought that the tips were useful.
3.
It's probably because they see communicaton with the other person as a direct attack
on them and their values and beliefs which makes them angry and they want to repay
2 / Yes, the tips turned out to be quite useful, despite the fact that some of them are quite logical and I already knew them.
3 / I think because people are by nature quite emotional and often this leads to various unforeseen circumstances.
misunderstanding?
Yes, it happens for me too often. There are a lot of misunderstandings when I talk with different people about many subjects.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
They are useful in some cases, in some cases are not enough to deal with the misunderstandings problem sufficiently
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and
appropriately?
They don’t want to spend time to actually put a thought in someone’s argument. Instead they are obsessed in their own’s arguments.
I find the tips mentioned at the end of the video very useful. Especially the one about personal perceptual filters. To find out more about my own filters, I’ve taken the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test, which helps to understand one’s behavior in many aspects – career, relationships, everyday life. The Myers-Briggs theory highlights the differences between 16 personality types, explains communication difficulties and indicates areas for progress. Together with an eye-catching illustrations it is a funny and interesting tool!
Generally, I am trying to avoid arguing with anyone, so I don't have a lot of occasions to think if it was a misunderstanding or not. But everybody knows that you can't live without talking to somebody and finally you will find yourself in a situation when you have a different point of view than your interlocutor. To sum up, I don't remember that type of situation.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
Yes, I think that people often forget about some good rules of conversations, and it usually leads to an argument.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and appropriately?
I think it's all about emotions and feelings, being always in rush, receiving a lot of stress and the other factors of everyday life make our psyche hanging by a thread, so especially this hard time we have to be super polite and empathic. Moreover, everybody prefers being right than being wrong, so we are still trying to persuade our interlocutor, which often leads to arguments. We are losing control of our emotions and starting being rude and offensive.
2. It seems to me that these tips may help, but they don't have to. The most useful piece of advice seems to be the one that talks about listening with more than just your ears. Facial expressions and gestures can say more than words. However, nowadays, especially during a pandemic, it is difficult to make eye contact, which causes us to lose some information and therefore most of the confusion arises.
3. People are ruled by emotions. The longer the statement is, the greater the chance that logic will disappear and emotions will dominate. Comments on highly emotional topics such as politics can lead to arguments very quickly. Human is too unstable to be guided only by logic.
2. They are certainly useful. Especially the last one about personal filters, I have rather controversial opinions myself but I still try to understand others. I don't have to agree with them but I sure don't have to argue.
3. I believe they can, however, most of them are too self-absorbed to do so. I worked some shifts in customer service, believe me, most people are just jerks with no respect for others.
Of course, it happens sometimes. Sometimes my further friends missundersatnding my argument. It may be because we have different perceptions in looking at some problems or just simply have very different views (I mean something like political, existential views). Sometimes I think we have lack of emphaty to look why some person has those views and why he/she think like that.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
Yes, definitely! I even try to use them in daily life. I belive that overall people aren't bad, sometimes they just need different way to communicate to them, so they understand our point of view.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and
appropriately?
The main reason for me is that most people don't have emphaty in themself. They can't step into somebody's shoes and look from different perspective.
I think the tips are quite useful. Especially, the one talking about not assuming that your perception is ultimate truth. It's nice idea to give someone space and comfort of adding their opinion in.
As for the third question, it might have to do with not being flexible enough to accept something that varies from what someone has strong opinion about, maybe also discomfort with judgment coming from another person. It could make someone feel the need to defend their statement more.
2. I think that they definetly are, to me the more people get educated about the way it is most efficient and clear, the better for everyone's sake. I'm glad that such informational videos as the one in this subject are created. Perhaps educating ourselves about how to communicate well might improve our life in an unexpected way.
3. I believe that the reason why people cannot communicate and exchange their views politely is the act of not seeing clearly through emotions. Some people have so much impulsiveness that they find it very hard to extract fact-based thoughts from emotions accompanying them.
- Do you find yourself arguing with other people [...]: yes, more frequently that I would like to admit.
- [...] later to find out that it was a simple misunderstanding?: as of right now, I hope that every argument I have with anyone is a simple misunderstanding. Unforunately, this happens quite rarely.
I do find the tips at the end of the video useful, despite them being quite generic ones. It's important to be able to put one's own view into perspective. However, this is very far from trivial.
As for the "polite" and "appropriate" means of communication, I think it simply lies both in the development of our (human) race and in the development of a single individual. We are made to differ. Organisms that differ (both physically and mentally) are known to form a more solid community / civilisation (in our case). The problem is how we handle being exposed to those differences. Emotions are very complex and they play a huge part in everyday communication. I find it hard to come up with conclusions on this topic.
Sure, I think that it happens to everyone.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
Yes. I think that we should always remember that communication isn't as easy as we like to think it is. Last week I had communication training at work and I've learned two tips that I consider helpful: paraphrasing and asking questions. They both give us confidence that we understand well what our interlocutor really meant.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and
appropriately?
First of all, during the conversation, especially important one, people are influenced by their emotions, thus they focus on their own interpretation of the other person's messages, instead of trying to understand what they mean. Secondly, because of differences in people's cultures, backgrounds etc. they may be unable to fully understand each other. Thirdly, sometimes people just want to change someone else's mind and get frustrated when they stick to their own opinion.
misunderstanding?
Yes, this can happen when active listening lacks in the conversations.
2. Do you find tips mention in the end of the video useful?
Yes, especially the 4th one. It is important to ask and listen to the other person's perspective, it's the easiest way to avoid misunderstandings in conversations.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and
appropriately?
Mostly if there is who/ pride involved, it can hard for one to listen and respect the other one.
I do find tips at the end of video useful, and basically I know them so I try to use them every time. But there are sometimes situations that it is very hard to good communicate, for example I'm very nervous person and there is the moment that I can't communicate in good way.
I think the most important reason is that a lot of people can't feel other humans and they only see one good way that is their own. We need to try work with our emotions and try to understand better other people.
I don't argue with other people very often but when I do sometimes misunderstandings happen. I think it's very common that people don't really understand what other person says and then it happens.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
I find them really useful. I actually used them before without even thinking about it. The one with changing to perception of another person's is very good to understand what he may think.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and appropriately?
People get carried away by emotions too much. They just want to be the one that is right and don't care about other person's feelings. We should all try to be more empathetic.
Yes i do. That's natural to argue and discuss different things. But it's funnt how the things are turning so quickly as a little misunderstanding. Tables are turning quicker than i would ever think!
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
The tips are working for sure. I find myself using them sometimes without even realizing it so i confirm that they do work.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and appropriately?
I think it's about the experience and getting used to talk with strangers. As you finally manage to do that freely it is going to be really easy to express yourself. The main reason people also can't do it politely is that people like to be right. And some of them don't like admiting a failure that makes them mad.
2. The tips at the end of the video are useful, although I don't think everyone would agree with me. Not all of us are really eager to listen actively to others because we just don't feel like it or are in a bad mood. The key to actively listening and preventing conflicts in the conversation is finding the right person who will understand us, but will also have a similar approach.It is not an easy task, because there can always be a conflict, although it seems to me that each of us has a group of friends with whom you can talk and understand easily.
3. I think people are not able to exchange views politely and appropriately because everything will depend on the situation. At the moment when someone hits our car, we will not be able to control ourselves and be polite, because stress and nervousness will not allow us to do so. Of course, a man is able to learn to control himself and his behavior, although it takes a lot of time.
I had this problem earlier in my life, but nowadays I almost always see when argument is based on misunderstanding and my life is a lot better since then.
2. Do you find tips mentioned in the end of the video useful?
I find them useful, but maybe not for me because I knew about this earlier.
3. Why do you think people can’t communicate and exchange their views politely and
appropriately?
I think that it depends on people. Some people can exchange their views politely. I consider myself one of these and my friends too. But generally I think that most of the people can't stand of the idea of being wrong, so they will fight for theirs beliefs in order to not discredit theirselves.