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Week 9 [20-26.05.2019] Living on your own


2 moths ago I finally moved out from my family home and rent small flat with my girlfriend. I was a bit hasitant at the begining, but overtime I think that was a good decision.
It is widely known that you should at first try to live togheter to see if you are able to spend the rest of your life with that person.  There are plenty of articles with tips for young couples who decided to take a next step e.g. For me that was easy probably because we are togheter about 6 years and we basically know eachother very well.


Taking the next step as moving out is a bit risky as everyone has theirs own habits, especially women tries to convince partner to adapt to theirs rules, it is important not to lose your temper ( tip for you guys :D ) ! I am joking, the most important thing are compromises, you need to settle down specific rules and both of you should obey them.


Second thing is to figure out your finances. For example  we have create an bank account and we treat it as our shared account to buy groceries etc. I do recomend that strategy as money may be an issue in some cases and it would be a shame if your relationship fell apart because of such a mundane problem.
Another important case is to have some space just for you, where you can relax and do things alone, as living in appartment with another person sometimes might be really tiring and everyone needs to have some free space, to avoid conflicts and weariness.
Last thing which I consider really important is to create some sort of cleaning rooster, to split household chores. In our case she is a better cook so I am a dishwasher :D

Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?

sources:

Comments

I moved out my parents' house a year after I barely turned 20. And, even though, I moved straight into foreign country, for me it went really easy. I speak decent English, which is major language in the country I moved to, and I adopted its culture and everyday life relatively fast. I was living alone, and it fits perfectly with me. However, everyday work routine and lack of activities (I lived in a small town) have made their job -- I got more and more bored and felt emptiness. Relationship with my coworkers was distant, and I didn't make any friends, because, well, I actually suck at making them.

Years have passed, I now live in one of the European capitals, big and beautiful city. I do not suffer from lack of activities here, although that feeling of emptiness never left me. But the urge to return to my parents home never visited me as well. What is that, an adulthood?
At the moment I live with my parents. Earlier, my studies were outside Warsaw and I rented a room with colleagues from the academic group. Currently, I plans to rent something in the future because commuting to the center of Warsaw is very onerous.

When you live with a partner, you must be compromised. Only this will allow you to have a problem-free and peaceful apartment. Many people have a problem with this to be able to negotiate with their partner some issues regarding housing together.

Life goes forward and I do not like watching back. I like responsibility and decision making.
Nataliya Tkach said…
1.Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
I have been living alone since I was 17 years old. Because I moved to another country to study at the university.

2.What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
I have an average experience of living with my partner. The most difficult is probably the ability to negotiate and distribute responsibilities around the house. Domestic issues very spoil the relationship if you do not talk at the very beginning.

3.Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Everyone would like to go back to childhood where all that was required was to play, eat and sleep. No stress and worries, except that they just bought a toy. Even my parents remember how good childhood was and they would like to come back.
Anton Medvediev said…
1.Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
Because of looking of better life i moved study when i was 18 and living from that moment alone, i mean without parent but with friends :)But i had all finance on start from parents and about a year i trying to figure all out alone
2.What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
for me hardest think it's to find a partner that get boried you after 1-2 month, but maybe it's a problem in my head, aha :)
3.Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
No, i like it, some problems hard life on a start give u a lot of experience, and it will help u later
That was a deep comment, thanks for opening. Do you live in aparment or some sort of dormitory ? Do you consider finidng a roommate ? I 've heard that could be a really great "adventure" to live with complete stranger. And now , usually adulthood doesn't look this way :) I hope you will finally find someone :)

I live with my parents because it's comfortable. My parents' house is close to my studies. This year I am going to live alone.

It seems to me that the most difficult are good communication and trust. The division of duties is certainly difficult.

I don't know why, but I like duties. It's part of my life. I can't sit and do nothing, so I prefer to stay where I am.

Have a nice day for all of you :)
Cool, I think that compromises are very important, everyone should have they own hobbies ( or mutual) in order not to be bored in relationship.
If you like responsibility that means you are an adult, this is good but wouldn't you like to just go back and be lazy whole week ;) ?
Wow, that is really impressing , living on you own at the age of 17. How did you get things down while being under 18 ? e.g. Renting a room etc.
I am not suprised that your parents recall childhood well :)
s18716 said…
Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
Now I live on my own. Since I am studying in another country. Maybe that's why, until my duties are distributed, and in most cases I do everything myself at home.

What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
I think you rightly noticed in his article a moment about personal space. With whom you would not live, each person should have his own place where he can retire, or at least do something and so that no one bothers him. it is very important that each member of the family be given such space. Both adults and children.

Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Sometimes yes, but this is a joke, especially when you have a whole list of tasks that you should complete as soon as possible. But in general - no. Maybe I already got used to it, and I don’t see a problem in these duties. In the end, all these responsibilities are directed to my own good.

Great article, thanks!
Maciej Sadoś said…
1. Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
I live with my parents. It’s mainly because it’s comfortable and I have quite a good transport to Warsaw and I probably wouldn’t benefit much if I moved to the capital. But I more and more think about living with my girlfriend as we are getting tired of meeting so rarely.

2. What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
I think the hardest things to overcome are some of our habits which might be annoying for the other person, especially at the beginning.
Life example: at the moment my girlfriend is annoyed of my MX Blue switches in my keyboard :-)

3. Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Yes, sometimes I would like to go back to the childhood, to these days when we wasn’t required to do anything.. However, I also like it how it's now, I just would like to have more free time.
I live on my own, from recent time even finacially, and i love it. There is always a tension between someone who is supposted to obey and someone who i supposted to decide for you, and no matter how good of a parents you have there will always be some weird tension. And dont get me started on a personal life, it's super werid to have some spark with a girl when there is mom or dad at home, occasionally ascing you something and giving you weird signs. I liked a reckless oldtimes, but i would never change it for what i have now, because freedom, responsibility for your own and decisions that i can do now are what makes me much more happier, than i used to be.
Yeah, I do agree living with parents is really comfortable but it has some cons like you can't really throw a party or something anytime you want. It is harder to invite someone overnight etc. But yeah I get your point of view :)
I get your point of view, I used to live with my parents as it was really convienent but we felt like our relationship stuck in some point and we decided to move forward in order to enter into next chapter.
Haha exactly ! That is why living alone is that awesome, that you don't need to care if anyone enters the room in inappropriate moment that is always weird :D
But living with parents is awesome in some points like dinners etc.
Ewelina said…
1.I live alone practically from the age of 15. I went to Olsztyn to high school, I lived in the rented room. Now I live in Warsaw, I come from Giżycko.
2 The division of duties so that everyone is happy.
3. Sometimes I would like to be a child. It's a carefree time only school (though it complained) and fun.
I mean both have adventages and disadventages. Living with your parents may be sometimes annoing, but it's free and your parents are doing most stuff for you. When you live on your own, then you are free to do whatever you want, but also you need to take care of your house all by yourself. Also living in cities like Warsaw is really expensive.
The path to adulthood is a very important path. You can make a lot of mistakes, but we learn from mistakes. I have a wife, from the first day of love we live together. Knowing about this problem, we decided to rent an apartment for the two of us. And so we know that we can live together. But, on the other hand, if we would not do this in past, we would have big problems in the future. It turned out that we are very different and very similar. Constantly there are some problems, but we find compromises and set the rules. In other matters, the author writes about this. Thanks for the good thought.
Anna Koca said…
Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
I had different moments in life, both living with my family, my partner, some roommates, so I know the deal quite well.

What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
I guess when he doesn't wash up and sometimes just leaves it all on my head. Also, when living in a relationship, both people need space and it's hard to draw a line that would suit both sides.

Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Sometimes I would, like on Sundays, when all stuff that was due on weekday amass and you have to plan your next week - that's the moment that I would happily watch series all day :)
I do live with my parents because I don't want to rent a room or flat. I want to move to my own place and I'm saving for this for now. I have my own space in my parent's flat and comfortable life here so I'm not complaining. Hardest thing in living with partner is learning how to live together. The whole relationship can change drastically when people start living together. No, I wouldn't go back 'to the old days' because it's only an illusion. I have never been so free as now even though I have much more responsibilities.
Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
I live with my parents because it is cheap and very convenient. I have already thought about moving out few times, but I still need money to do it. I decided that I will move out from my parents when I will be able to afford housekeeper. It is really hard and time-consuming job to keep your house clean and tidy.
I think that when you start to live with your partner, you can finally get to know him/her better. I mean that when you live together all of his/her both bad and good habits come to the surface and the hardest thing in my opinion is to deal with them. Of course, some of these things will suit you but some of them will be probably very hard to accept.
Living with out any responsibilities and not caring about stuff was fun. But I think that it is fun for children and now that I know much more about well everything than 15 years ago the life is much more interesting in my opinion. Also all of this responsibilities and concerns are not that hard to handle if you have a good idea about how to live your life.
I am that happy person who has possibility to live on my own. I mean on my own but with my girlfriend. For me, the hardest thing was to be able to not get mad at the smallest things that are not in my usual order. We didn't have big problems, that was never the case but the smalles are the ones that get into you. For me, it was not closing closet doors right away. I always open closet, get the thing i need, and then imidietly close it. My girlfriend has a habbit to leave doors open for a longer periods of time, before closing. I mean it doesn't look like a problem at all. People can argue about money, about the color of sofas etc. but for me it was hard to change habbits. My own as well as hers. We have to adapt to each other and in my opinion these kind of samll things are the hardest to overcome. Considered all the downsides of living with someone i wouldn't go back to living alone with no responsibilities. Living on your own alone can be easier but it do not feel like home when you are alone for most of the time.
1. Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
I rent an apartment with a neighbor. I had to move out of parents since I moved to study in another country.
2. What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
I have little experience living with my partner. I think most of all spoil the relationship of various household trifles and habits.
3. Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
I think everyone has a period when they want to return to the good old days. Sometimes I visit my parents and can relax, no chores and cooking. But it’s still hard to live like this for a long time, not after I’ve already tried to live on my own.
Yana Lytvynenko said…
I began an independent life at the age of 17, when I had to move 500 km to another city due to university entrance. But I liked it and did not bring too much trouble. Yes, at first it was difficult to set up life and learn how to plan cleaning and cooking, but the most difficult thing was to learn how to control finances. So I lived of excellent 4 years with a friend. Now I have been living with a guy for two years, and we have no problems, since we divided life and finances) And life does not give one of us a big burden (for example, to prepare and clean up or finance for two ), but on the contrary makes it easier and makes life so much easier and better.
1. Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?

I moved from my parents 5 years ago. I think this was one of my greatest ideas. When I started living alone I learned I lot of new think and of course, it made a huge impact on my personality.

2. What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?

I think, the problem of habits. Because all of us has some list of things, which he/she likes to do. And sometimes those lists could be completely different in your partner and here is the main problem. To find some compromise to deal with it in such a way, that everyone will be happy.

3. Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?

Totally no. I like my present state and I don't want to become dependent from anybody, not even from my parents. It could be a bit harder to live on your own, but it is obviously way more funny and interesting.
I'm waiting for my flat to be built right now. So can't really say to much about this topic. But when i had chance to live with my gf for some time i got to say most anoying is differences in habits you had in your parents home. Like using dishwasher. Do you leave plates in sing or in dishwasher after you it wash away. Also you have less time for yourself and for some people i think this might be critical. I think this is biggest test for most couples.
Answering your questions:

1. I live on my own. I am 24 years old and I have a job. When I moved from my parents 4 years ago I learnt a lot of things about life. I noticed my changes for the better - I am more friendly, sociable and so on. I do not regret this decision at all.

2. Oh, I can't answer this question because I have never had a partner.

3. I would like to go back to old times - as a child. You can throw everything - your job, study, girl/boyfriend and get rid of responsibilities. This is the life, hah!
I lived with my parents for a long time to really start appreciating living by myself. I did not live with a partner, and I believe it will be very difficult for me when I start living with my partner. I have a lot of habits, and it is the worst thing as you not only have to share them, but also sometimes sacrifice them for the sake of partner. I am not sure I am ready for that.
Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
I'm pretty young, so I still live with my parents. I'm working, but the money goes mainly for the college fee and my personal things like clothes, cosmetics, books, etc.
What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
I have the partner for almost 6 years and we often travell together, so we experienced some incompalibity when it comes to living together. I think the hardest thing is when the partner doesn't have the same view on the taking care of the apartment, so cleaning, doing dishes, etc.
Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Maybe sometimes, especially when I have a lot of work, but I prefer being the adult and learning new things.
Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
I live on my own hand, because I came to study and I had to rent a flat and find a job to keep up. Probably if I studied in my city, I would live with my parents because of the cost of living. In my life live on my own helped me to become independent and solve problems alone without the help of my parents.

What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
Common tolerance, but it seems to me that if we decide to live with a partner, we know what more or less awaits us

Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Who would not want? Living without worries what more to want?
Currently I live with my boyfriend. Sharing responsibilities and managing finances is not a problem for us. We have similar characters so a joint account is unnecessary. We both want to take care of each other too much, which sometimes turns out to be irritating for both. We also work in the same place so the biggest problem is being next to each other for 24 hours a day. It’s easier to maintain the interest of another person when living separately.
I agree with you , I didn't compare living alone vs with parents because that is a topic for another presentation :P There are a lot of examples why you living with parents is good and comfortable, but alone "you can feel freedom in the air" :D
Thank you Unknown for your comment ! Long time no see ! I agree that household chores might be the most annoying and hard to reconcile thing.
But as I mention everything comes to compromises and simple conversation. We used to travel a lot but living with someone is something much much bigger.
Illia Lukisha said…
Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?

I moved from parents when I was 17, and was one of the decisions that changed my life. Because I quickly become more independent, started to manage my own finances and dived into adult life. That way I developed as a person much quicker and made successes faster than my coevals. I cannot imagine were I could be if I decided to live with the parents.

What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?

I think it's routine. Like you should work hard and always find power to make a surprise, to go to the walk to amaze again and again, because relationships is tough work, and if are not developing them then you're destroying them.

Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?

No way. I think that moving from parents to another town, made me the one I'm today, and of I would have a chance to return I absolutely will make the same decision again. It's like life changing and the one that was a milestone of my life.
Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
Am living on my own , I prefere it because even if I must to spend more money than with my family, I have more privacy and I can learn how to live alone. My Parents also have more space for them and it is much more comfortable, I can invite my friends whenever I want and do whatever I want. Now thanks to that am independend fully .
What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
Decide how to split finances and responsibilities. At the beginning of the apartment, it can be easy together, you just set the rules and act according to them. Over time, everything can begin to change, no time, new job and all promises are put aside. That is why it is very important to talk to each other, be honest and not hide anything in yourself, is the only key to success.
Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Maybe for one day or two, I love my life , how it looks right now, I prefere this with whole responsibilities, and possibility to travel or just enjoy fully my life than without any responsibilities but living in "box"
Peter Clemenza said…
Do you live on your own or with parents and why ?
Now, its cheaper, but there is possibility that I will move out

What do you consider as the hardest thing to overcome , when living with partner?
Surving the truth that she has to use a toilet (no sh*t)

Would you like to go back to the good old days, without any responsibilities ?
Yes and No, I have my own independece, and I can do whatever I want. Nobody forces me to do, eat, make, things that i hate

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