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Week 4 [06-12.11.2017] Unsocial social media

Almost always while returning home from college I stare at the screen of my smartphone and check Facebook, Youtube, etc. Once, however, I looked up and saw that literally everyone else around was doing the same. Nobody was talking, laughing, not even smiling.
  1. Are people in general still able to make contact with anyone outside of the internet?
  2. Would you speak to a stranger next to you on a bus if you weren’t using your phone all the time ? ;)

Comments

Anonymous said…
To be honest sometimes I also just stare at my phone screen and just scroll Facebook. One day I realized that it's such a waste of time. Especially when I return home from college what takes me about an hour. So I would waste about 2 hours daily to scroll social media. Then I started reading books and I saw some people staring at me and couldn't believe that such a young person reads a book!
I think people now are still able to contact each other outside of the Internet, provided that it's not talking with a stranger. People in Poland are very distrustful and mean to strangers. I don't know why - in other countries it's normal to talk to strangers in train or bus. To be honest I wouldn't talk to stranger, because I would be afraid to be ignored or something like that. On the other hand when I go somewhere by train and an old lady or man is sitting next to me and starts to talk to me I reply and we talk. I know those people don't have Facebook accounts or anything else to entertain them so I'm trying to :)
Magdalena Popek said…
Of course people are still able to make contact with anyone outside the Internet. Some of them have problems with it but it's not just because of social media - some people are just not so sociable. The problem begins when our only contact with friends happens through the Internet. When we stop meeting people in real life and only make more and more Facebook contacts. Every time I see a child with a smartphone I'm surprised parent allow them to use them. Even though the minimum age for having Facebook account is 12(?) many younger kids do have one (even 7 or 8-year-olds!). If children at auch young age start getting used to talking through Facebook and not just go outside, they may grow up to be really antisocial adults.
Even though I prefer talking face to face, I wouldn't talk to a stranger on a bus. It's just respecting someone's personal space. When I'm going by bus I just want to be left alone and wouldn't want anyone to talk to me.
Unknown said…
I noticed that when you are in bus or any public transport everyone scroll facebook,instagram or checkout new snapchats. To be honest Im doing the same. I dont know why, but when I am alone i just grab my phone and read anything, literally anything! I am just doing it to fill up my time. I have nothing else to do. I wont speak to stranger next to me because im shy, I noticed that they wont talk to me either, maybe if I will drop something they will say anything. I also noticed that if someone wants to talk in bus its always older one. They are not using smartphones so they fill up time by talking. Im not angry, actually most times it's a good conversation.
Marcin Mróz said…
It's sad that we came to the moment when we prefer to check every single social media on our smartphone than to look up and talk to the person sitting or standing next to us. I think we are still able to make contact with the people around us, but due to the growing presence of mobile devices and internet in our lives we are starting to lose this ability. If you observe people in public communication, you will see only fraction of them talking to each other, the rest will be just staring at their mobile phones. Or sometimes you will just hear silence and see everyone in front of their smartphone. I think that in times when technology wasn't so advanced and internet wasn't so widespread, people were more communicative and open to other people. Nowadays it happens rarely that you talk to a stranger in a public communication, but some time ago it was rather normal. Currently the only people that I see that try to make some conversations with strangers are some old ladies or old men. It's really sad and I think that we should consider sometimes putting away our smartphones and start to make contact with people around us.
Unknown said…
Thank you for your comment. Except Polish distrustfulness there may be another factor that affects our behaviour on trains or buses. Time of the day. Usually, when we are in a bus or train we are going to school/work and we are not fully awake yet or we are coming back tired after the day in school/work. I hope this is what makes Poles not talking to each other because I don't want Poland to be described as country of the mean people ;)
Unknown said…
Thank you for your comment. This picture shows that people have not really changed much over the years.
https://goo.gl/images/m2PbVr
Maybe public transport is just a bad place to talk with other people.
Unknown said…
Generally speaking I think that people are unable to make contact with anyone outside of the internet. I also do think that people are getting dumber and dumber. Some people are too much into technology and social media that they become strangers in real life and great people in social media but the real life is the one that matters. I also sometimes waste my time in social medias but I’m aware of it and can control it. Also I would be able to talk to a stranger because I know that the real life is important and social medias are only to entertain or in some particular cases help you to contact others.
Unknown said…
I strongly agree that social media is making people less sociable, more narcissistic, lazy, shallow etc. But I think it's important to remember that there are others reasons why people can't stop checking their cell phones. Many work online, others like to keep themselves constantly updated by reading the latest news, some do shopping, study languages, read books and so on.
Alicja said…
I agree with Magdalena. Not engaging strangers in a conversation on a bus is not necessarily about being antisocial but about respecting personal space. What a chore it would be if on top of being knackered from work we would have to daily worry about making conversation on our way back? British comedian David Mitchell explains it well in this 3 min video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh_I19_mKkU :)

However, I agree with this TED speaker. Even though social media are useful and provide entertainment, they contribute to deterioration of our social skills. As Zygmunt Bauman said: “Most people use social media not to open their horizons wider, but to lock themselves in a comfort zone”.
Filip Sawicki said…
I wouldn’t worry much about making contact with anyone outside of the internet, but rather with poor communication skills. This is a growing problem in our society as many of us prefer talking through text messages. When you talk with someone face to face you don’t have much time to arrange sentence and it is usually hard to think twice about what you want to say. On the other hand, while texting you can take as much time to collect your thoughts as you want. This is the reason why people start to favour texting, due to a smaller possibility of making a mistake.
Jakub Lisicki said…
There is clearly a difference between making friends inside and outside of the internet. The mechanism is pretty much the same, but some people just lack confidence or, in general, social skills. We shouldn't blame internet for that, since there were always people of this kind. This is true, that we are currently unable to let go of the technology nowdays, it makes our lives extremely convenient sometimes. The problem is that we can't separate our social lives from the internet, since so many social networks try to prove us it doesn't make sense or simply is impossible.
I'm not really into small talks with random people, I don't think I would talk with anyone that I don't know without any reason.
There is truth to the saying: "the more connected we are, the more lonely we feel", or something along these lines. Of course there are still people that can make contact in a normal way, most of our generation belong in that group. We were born without social media and yet we chose to become slaves to amenities they offer. I'm more worried about youngest and future generations, because when the power finally shuts down they will be forced to live in a real world without any necessary skills to survive. When someone tries to start a conversation it's a normal thing for me to engage most of the times, however I wouldn't start one myself, because I simply prefer solitude.
Unknown said…
Totally agree with you. Do you think there is any other way to improve communication skills other than talking face to face? Maybe people can replace some social media apps with app that will improve their soft skills.
Unknown said…
Could any social campaign help people to reduce time spent on the Internet? Maybe generation which is growing up with smartphones in their hands will need such a thing.
I know there are probably many people for which this video applies but I actually disagree. For example this ‘one hour unplugged challenge’ is like challenge accepted. For most time when I’m home I don’t even know where my phone is. As for connecting with people without messenger, iMessage, FaceTime and stuff like that I’d never be able to keep in touch with so many friends I do now. I guess what I’m saying is everything in moderation - maybe we shouldn’t spend all of our time texting and tweeting but we also shouldn’t ban it and say it’s evil.
Unknown said…
Do you think that we can do something to help youngest or it's just up to their parents to show them alternatives outside the Internet? I think that drawing parents' attention to this problem and showing them simple solutions how to help their kids at some point would reduce the problem.
Unknown said…
Thank you for your comment. My opinion is similar to yours. I think that moderation should be one of the most important things in our lives (with a few exceptions) but also it is really difficult nowadays to see that line where the over-use begins.
Unknown said…
Yes! People are still be able to make contact with anyone outside of the internet. The real question is *Is this neccesary?* People spend hours per day to scroll Facebook and Instagram. It is a normal behaviour in these days.
Social media fill our free time. Unfortunately social media makes us unsocial. That is sad but true. Some people really should *logout to life* and try to meet in real world.

May you think I am freak but I often start talk to stranger people on gym (yes they also use there phone). And suprise! The are able to start normal conversation. In my opinion talking face to face i hundreds of times better. Of course social media are great tool to keep in touch with freinds who live far away from us, but whe should spend more time with people from our surroundings to keep beter relations with them.
Times are changing and technology is evolving. Internet gives us possibility to talk to each other even if you and your friend are at home. And yes, of course we are still able to contact with anyone outside of the internet. Just go outside at friday's night, there are many people who are spending theirs time outside the home. No, i wouldn't speak to a stranger next to me if i weren't using my phone, it wouldn't change anything.
Yes, it makes a very unsocial behavior especially when used by children. Someone even said that there should be an age limit to Facebook made because what a 10 year can post is really scary sometimes. I'm always laughing because I have a friend who's dog has his private Facebook account (managed by her) - for me this is a complete was of time and something that really should be banned - but hmm we live in the world where everything is possible, so why not.

On my vacation I'm never using a phone for work, just for photos or to make a movie for example under a waterfall. It is good to share good moments with friends via Messenger when they know where you are but posting it on Facebook to all.. Hmmm I'm against that.
Unknown said…
When we finally close ourselves in a VR world maybe then we won't be able to make contact with anyone outside but for now it's not an issue. Day to day, in person contact and communication is a must despite so many things and discussions going on over the internet. One thing that worries me though is how it affects children. Not even sure if today's kids know what is hanging out on your "square" playing football or just exploring.
I recommend reading on ex-Facebook president Sean Parker thoughts, in quote "Facebook's first president, Sean Parker, has been sharply critical of the social network, accusing it of exploiting human "vulnerability." more here:
http://www.businessinsider.com/ex-facebook-president-sean-parker-social-network-human-vulnerability-2017-11?IR=T
In short he talks about the design of facebook to exploit the natural need human of social-validation by dosing dopamine-shots with likes and so on. Making money out of it of course.
I wouldn't speak to a stranger on a bus but I tend to see senior/older people often do it. Just a friendly, small talk with some laughs maybe. It's an old school though.
Unknown said…
Social media can't disconnect us from each other. People didn't stop meeting in real life and going shopping/to the restaurant/for a walk together.
On my way home I see that people on the bus or train look at their phones, but not everyone. Some talk to their friends/family and laughing, some talk on the phone.
In my opinion, people still able to make contact with someone outside of the internet. Virtual communication can not completely displace the real one, because it lacks two important components: a physical contact and a joint experience of events ( e.g. traveling or football game). Online communication will not replace ordinary friendly embraces or joint eating of hamburgers in a snow-covered park.
Would you speak to a stranger next to you on a bus ? I wouldn't talk with anyone that I don't know without any reason or background and it's nothing wrong with that.
Unknown said…
I think that we make the contact with what we find more interesting and useful. If I meet my friends and relatives I don't pay attention to my gadgets, cause my people are the priority and I don't wanna waste my time on Facebook instead of chatting with ones I love. If I'm visiting some boring event, lecture, waiting in the queue, I would better read some interesting article, prepare for my studies, check the weather or do whatever I need to do on the Internet instead of wasting my time in vain. Although, we should always remember, that using the gadgets in some public events could be impolite, and I mean only those cases, when it's acceptable and you're not gonna offend the people around you.
People say that today teens spend too much time in social network, not communicating with their families - ok, but they are teens, no matter what, they will find a thousand reasons to avoid communication with the family, because of that age. My grandmother used to read newspapers, my mom reads Facebook articles. Stop blaming the social media, people are the same:)

And no, I'm not gonna speak to a stranger in the bus, because I am an introvert and I would rather read something interesting on my phone. Even more, I often use my phone not to talk to random strange people around me:)
Fortunately for me i'm not one of the ppl who do stare at facebook all day i've got my own addiction which is music so u might not see me staring at my phone mindlessly but u will find me with my headphones on and staring at what's around me, or behind the window.
But that does not make me more or less social than anyone else i enjoy peace and sometimes being social brings chaos.
It's true though that we started to notice less and less of what's around us i favor of our phones which we can observe daily in buses while we commute.
Unfortunately not having my headphones would not make me more likely to engage in conversation with other people on bus, as much as that would help its my choice not to engage if i want to (which sometimes happens) i usually just take off my headphones and do so.
Would it affect other in my opinion not in poland we value our undisturbed selves so anyone engaging in a conversation with us which we did not started would be an invader rather than a friend.
I saw some people talking about look at your facebook or smth on the bus. But come on, we usually do this if we have nobody to speak with. Almost always on my way to work or school im watching series but never if i meet someone i know. Also it actually helps us to stay in touch with people we know but we cant meet becouse of different reasons. There is always second side of the coin. It is the same with social media, problem start when you rank them above your real connections.
It's not really a new thing (everyone staring at their phone in public places). The tools might have changed over the years, but the basic psychology hasn't. People have always felt uncomfortable around strangers, and have been looking for ways of avoiding contact with fellow travellers.

Back in the day when people used to spend months together on a cruise ship crossing the Atlantic, or in the Orient Express it made sense to get to know each other. As the technology evolved however, travelling for faster and faster. Nowadays the most time you spend in city bus is probably an hour. In a bus full of tired people, coming back from work, thinking of how they still have to walk their dog and take out the trash before they can finally hit the bed, it's hard to expect people to be enthusiastic about the possibility of spending a lot of energy on getting to know their co-passengers, they might never meet again.

Travelling by train is a different case, when doing that I do usually end up talking with people I am going to spend the next few hours with.

*got faster
*a city bus
*about/less than an hour
Unknown said…
I think everyone would agree that is sign of the times that nowadays we prefer contacting each other using Internet than talking to other people in person. Most of us is browsing Internet , checking Facebook or other social media sites when going by bus. Car drivers often read e-mails when they get stuck in the morning traffic jams (which is true in my case as well). I would say that we still can communicate without Internet, but it is sometimes slower and less convenient way of communication. For introverted and shy people it is also much harder to talk to others than send them an e-mail or text message.
I don’t think I would speak to a stranger standing next to me in a bus as I would feel a little bit strange, as in Poland it is not so common, especially for young people, to talk to others in public transport. Most of the people are suspicious in their nature and they would try to avoid interaction when someone would try to speak to them.
Unknown said…
People have limits in their ability to socialize. I personally think that social media is one of the greatest things that could have happened to humans. You are finally not bound by a location of birth but you can meet anyone, whenever you want, wherever you are. Probably most people have some friends that they have met online and I think that it is not much different than friendship in the "real world".

Btw watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2qjRG6iV8M&ab_channel=Vsauce2
Patryk Pohnke said…
I think that social media didn't change anything for worse, in fact they improved our lifes in some aspects. Sociable people still can talk to strangers, make new friendships and I bet they don't feel lonely. Websites like Facebook allowed diffident people to try out their luck in making new contacs without the need to face to face meeting. It is very useful as sitting in front of your computer isn't as stressful as personal meeting. This allows to postpone the potential meeting to the point when we can have more self-confidence. Social platforms also allows us to meet people all over the world.
KamilG said…
I'm not the type of person who stares at the phone all the time, but I see these kind of people around. In subway, on the streets, while eating, all the time with the phone. It's sad, but it's true that the progress of new technologies made us unsocial. Now it is easier to write to a friend who lives next to us than just to meet him and talk on live. It leads to the fear to talk with anyone in general. Anyway I think that the tradition of talking with strangers which was quite common in the past, disappeared inretirevably.
Personally I'm not a fan of social media and I use it to the bare minimum. Sure, I'm not some anti-technology freak with silly hat and a suitcase, but I'd rather read a book, listen to music or improve myself through gaining knowledge rather than waste time watching what somebody else ate yesterday. I use things like Facebook only for keeping in touch with friends, which allowed me to get rid of all notifications related to people and just keep private groups and messenger in shape, everything else is useless time-taker, just like looking for cat videos online.
Asia said…
Hi, I'm new here and I know, that almost everything has been said in this topic but I wanted to share my thoughts.
Social Media are a great way to stay in contact with our friends from all over the world. That is some how amazing, that it's so easy to speak with my friend from Italy, or that I see how my best friend from primary school is doing in LA. It motivates me to try that new things, see the world, try to find my place.
But there's such a thing as common sense. We have to remember, that we are still humans, that we are alive. Everyday gives us a chance to meet great people. To have those friends we need to meet them in a first place. And then all we need to do- is speak. If we don't have that confidence to ask someone, try to start that conversation and see where it leads, we will be lonely.
However, I am not kind of person who would speak to a stranger in a bus, just because i wanted to talk to someone. Everyone has a right to stay in his own comfort zone, I don't want to interrupt. But I will definitely complement someone if I like so much his/her shoes ;)

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