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Week 4 [27.03. - 2.04.2017] Young parents

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 Nowadays young parents is not something we see everyday, especially in big city. And when we do it is not something we look kindly on. We think about some teens gone wild and in most cases we are probably right. But is it always like that? Is it possible that sometimes young people make that decision on their own?

We know in most cases decision about having a baby is pushed away because of education, career or living young life and going wild. It is even harder for us, guys. I know that I want to have children but in a future. And most of my peers think so too. But I found some reasons why having them now would not be such a bad thing.

We have so many reasons for not having babies that we don’t actually think about reason to have them. And believe me there are a lot of them.

Firstly, when you have children when you are in your early 20’s  you have so much more energy.
Sleep or lack of it is not so bad when you are young. How many time did you have a sleepless night and the next day you some how got to manage it? Exactly. And this ability is really good with babies.

There is a really small possibility that you and your child experience generation-gap. Communication between you and kid will be better. Also even if you don’t think so right now, you are much more patient. When you are 30 you are just constantly tired. Or this i show I imagine it will be.

There will be always who will help you. Your parents, who are not that old, grandparents and even friends. You can count on all of them.



When you try to have a baby it is so much easier when you are young. Probably you will not have a problem with fertility. Even if you do, you will have much more options to deal with it.

Also when you are a young parent you probably don’t have any peer pressure. You can make your own decisions without being overwhelmed by how your friends deal with theirs kids.

When your friends will get pregnant, they will have someone to turn to for advice. Also having children doesn’t mean loosing career at all. When you are young it is so much easier to combine two worlds. You don’t have to sacrifice one for another.

Your head will be lighter because you will not be worrying whether you should have kid or not. You just have one or two.


And the best part is, that when your children are all grown up you are in your 40’s so you have plenty of time to do whatever you always wanted to do and just enjoy life.

Of course you should always remember that it is supposed to be your and your’s partner decision.
I know that in most of the cases pregnancy in early 20’s seems like the end of the world and no future at all. But as you can see it really doesn’t have to be like this. There are many reason to have children earlier. Even if it was bloomer just make sure that this kid is loved. Because it is what he/she needs the most. You can figure out the rest later.

What do you think about young parents? Do you think it is better to have children now and to wait a couple of years? Did I convince you to at least think about being a parent?


P.S. Lately I discovered this YT channel called SHAYTARDS where you can see family of 7 doing awesome. If they can you can do it also. You should check them out. I hope I will be a great father.







Comments

Unknown said…
My parents were young parents, so I heard a lot about it. And I know couples, who got children when they were about 30-40 years old, so as I observed and heard I can tell, that older parents are more aware of everything, but young parents have got more energy.
Many couples think, that later on it would be better to have children, because they will have more money and time etc, and young couples think that if they start now they'll manage to have more children.
I believe that this is very individual decision, and the most important while planning is to be sure, that you want to have children with all pros and cons and that you can manage (you can afford to maintain them)
30 March 2017 at 11:15
Unknown said…
Sure there are many advantages of having children when you're in your 20's. I agree with all your arguments; you have more energy when you're young, you'll probably have better communication with your child, you have more people to help you and the better one - you'll be relatively young after your child grow up. However, for a working and studing people it could be frustrating to live such a busy life and taking care of children. Secondly, I consider money as a great problem - young parents are often much stressed about them.
I only can't agree that having your child early doesn't disturb you career.
I remember the time when I was younger, I thought that to be married you have to be old enought and be ugly ;) Now, some of my friends are married and have children so I get used to the young marriages with children.;)
30 March 2017 at 11:27
Ihor Ahnianikov said…
Actually anything is easier when you're young, so I'm not sure if it's an advantage. I guess it's better to take care of your own life first, while you're young and have energy, because building a career from scratch in your 30s may be really depressing.

On the other hand, the whole Europe youth is busy chasing money and planning to have kids once they achieve something, and as a result Europe population growth is one of the slowest in the world, while Asia and Africa population grows really fast.
30 March 2017 at 17:29
Jagoda Bielawska said…
I think that 20's is to early to have a kids. Of course, I can agree that we have more energy etc, but on the other hand - we are still children ourselves, especially men :P Of course, as always there are some exceptions, but generally, in my opinion, we are not ready for kids.
31 March 2017 at 07:55
Unknown said…
I don't know if I can say 'this age is good to have a kids'. It just depends on a person and own preferences.

In my private case, I would like to establish family at the age of about 28. On the other side, I have many friends who had the first child at the age of 22-23 (not of necessity but choice).

There are some people, who are already prepared for kids and it's fine for me, but I couldn't have kids and develop professionally that's why now I'm not prepared.

Krzysztof, you wrote in the article that young people don't have to sacrifice careers. I cannot agree. If my friends hadn't done it, their children would have suffered.

To sum up, I think it's better for children to have young parents (of course not too young, especially mentally :p) , but it's not always good to be a young parent. Everything depends on individual preferences.

31 March 2017 at 12:57
Łukasz Domeradzki said…
It depends on the person - fact is, being a good parent AND working on your career is more or less impossible, if we focus on jobs where you can work on improving yourself (e.g. programming), while at the same time spending your free time with your family. It just doesn't work, in best case you can find a balance between those two, but you definitely can't say that it doesn't affect you in any way to have a children, it's simply not true.

Personally I'm not in a hurry, there is always time for that, while I don't want to see myself in a tough situation of not being capable to live like I want to live with my family - I like to be self-independent, and until I feel safe with my job, money and family, I don't feel in need of being a father.
1 April 2017 at 23:15
Unknown said…
I wouldn't judge anyone who's being a parent just based on his age. It's always better, as you've explained, to have kids earlier than later (to some point). But if you look at western culture more closely you will notice that people are having kids later and later in their life. They marry (or not all) later in their life. Way later than the average in our country but it is a trend that we are "importing" as well. The education, carrier, self-development, economic stability those things come as first when in the end they are less important than having/creating your own family and raising children.
But that's how society works today. It is not an easy task to have a family and properly feed it and take care of it at the same time.
2 April 2017 at 02:27
Unknown said…
I'm 24 years old and I don't feel ready to have a baby yet but it's true that depends on person. Personally I think I'm not adult enough to take such a step. Besides, you have to find someone with whom you are sure you will want to start a family and even if we are with someone for a long time it is difficult to judge how this person behaves when a baby is born. None of my close friends have children and they haven't planned them yet, so I I didn't think about it. Of course I see the advantages of young motherhood but it's more important that you must feel ready beacuse it's big step which totally changes our lives :)
2 April 2017 at 09:15
Anonymous said…
In my opinion period when we have 20-30 years old is the most important in our lives. Then it's great opportunity to find out what you are going to do in your life. What do you like and what is important for you. I think that it's definitely not a time for children. How young people would raise a child and teach him life if they don't know many about it?
To be honest for me it will never be a good time for children. Maybe I'm selfish, but would like to self develop for a long time. Get a great job and many benefits from life and a child, let's be honest is an obstacle to do it.
2 April 2017 at 09:27
Michał Pycek said…
I am about to get married and have started to visualize it one day, but not rush too much. In my opinion it may be easier when you are younger because you have the power and energy to deal with all of the difficulties that occure while having a baby. On the other hand, when we are 20+ we do our best to stabilize our life in the financialperspective which is also understandable in case of waiting with starting a family.
In my opinion when you are ready, you feel it and the you try to make it happen, without the outside pressure.
2 April 2017 at 12:48
Mieczysław Szumilak said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
2 April 2017 at 14:28
Mieczysław Szumilak said…
Everything depends personally. If someone have a need to be a parent, have met the appropriate person to spend the rest of his life with and can provide livelihood for his family, there is no obstacles. Couple years ago I was up-to-date with Shaytards family, they are adorable. Personally, I don't meet the assumptions to be a parent yet, but I hope I will be a good one
2 April 2017 at 14:29
Jakub Mańkowski said…
This is a subject I was thinking all my life about and through the years many time I've changed my opinion about it. I'm 33 and my partner is 28. We have a lot of friends at our age that still don't have children planned (let's call them group 1) and many of them that have children that are almost 14 years old now (let's call them group 2). There are many benefits from having children early (planned or not). Family can always help, you have more power to sleep less and still manage the house and children but you are loosing a lot of your youth. Many of the group 2 we know are having the time right now to finish school, plan they carrier, searching for their dream job, traveling and it is not easy. You cannot go traveling for 2 weeks and leave your child, job and everything like you used to when no child were around. Also lot of our friends got divorced, got to be single parent because the just was not ready for children or stable relation with their partner or just did not make it through the time. I think every approach has it's benefits - I was not mature enough few years ago to start a family and get married. But now I'm thinking differently - There is their time for everyone :)
2 April 2017 at 14:46
Unknown said…
I think that if to have a child you need to keep them financially. Unfortunately this is difficult for young parents. For me Youth is to go crazy and enjoy life. I personally planned a child about 27 years old. Now I want to learn and have fun :)
2 April 2017 at 16:05
Unknown said…
I think that times have changed and now it is popular to have children as late as possible, because the career is the most important. I also agree with this, because the child is a huge duty and to be a good parent you have to spend a lot time with it.
2 April 2017 at 17:32
Łukasz Grzybowski said…
In my opinion, to start a family you have to be financially and mental stable. I think it is better to wait a couple of years, because 20's is too early to have kids. People in our age aren't ready for this. Of course, there are some exceptions, but it isn't common. Personally, I will think about family if I have a stable job and my own flat.
2 April 2017 at 17:49
Shashkov Oleksii said…
I think that the decision about when to have children not only relate to how old you are , this is a very important step in life , and some people are ready for it in 20 and some are not ready and 40 , also I think you need to have a so-called "financial background" as such if you have children at a pretty young age, so you have more energy , but you should divide it between family and work , chances to rapidly advance your career significantly less as you will not be able for example to work until late or extra time.
2 April 2017 at 21:07
Magdalena Popek said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
2 April 2017 at 22:01
Magdalena Popek said…
Sometimes there is no such thing as "good time" to become a parent. Now it's too early, we are barely adults. In 24-28's - no money. 30's - career. 30< - finally we've got money to do things we want. And then *BOOM* it's too late.
I want to become a mother but now education is on the first place. Get education, get some work experience, HAVE MONEY, think about children. That's how I see it.
I have a few friend at my age who already have children (yup, they have "gone wild", fortunately all of them are in the relationships with child's father). They seem to be happy, at least on photos. But I know I wouldn't be. And I would definitely hate myself. All of them (my friends) are still leaving with their parents and are not studying. So they cannot be independent. And for me this independence is something I couldn't live without. I can give up on many things but not this one. But if they are happy - it's great for them.
I never judge parents by their age. Because does it change anything? It's their lives and their choices and/or consequences.
2 April 2017 at 22:03
Unknown said…
I think both parents should build their lives first and after that giving a birth to a child. It will be better for everybody. When adult people who've seen some life, made important decisions and taken care of themselves have a children, those children can gain more from parents. I'm talking not only from financial side, but more from moral and phycological side. People around 30 can give more experience and more care for the child.
Also, I'm always thinking about the time when child start going to school. Hard to imagine what his mom will do with her life if she had a child at 20.
2 April 2017 at 22:29
Łukasz Stawiany said…
I think that it depends on person. If you want to have a children right now you can do it, but you should first think about that if you can take care of them, financially and physically. Be a parent it's a very hard job and it shouldn't be a whim, you need to be sure that you want to be a parent, because it will change your life. I want to have a children some day, but not now. Firstly I want to achieve something in my life than I can devote my life for children
2 April 2017 at 22:30
Kateryna Skachek said…
This is too complicated a topic. It is clear that having a child without any material and moral support is just silly.
Well, what can give a person who is still a child for own child?
What kind of education can talk about if the parents do not always have the possibility to provide the child?
But, I really believe that to be young parents - it's not bad. But only if you are the person who can take responsibility for own and others' lives.
2 April 2017 at 23:06
KamilG said…
In my opinion it's not wrong to be young parents. If they feel ready and what is most important are responsible then why not? Answering your question, I personally don't want be a young parent. I like discovering new interesting things, traveling around the world. I want to fulfill my dreams. Children will disturb a little bit. When I feel that I fulfilled my dreams then I will try to become a happy parent.
2 April 2017 at 23:06
Unknown said…
Child in this time is very responsible thing because to take care about child you have to waste time which you could allocate in education and find new job. Our goverment now try to help young parents but for me they do this in wrong way.
3 April 2017 at 01:15
Wojtek Kania said…
In my opinion being parent or not is not age-dependent. Many young people are very responsible parents, and there many cases not responsible parents over 30. I think that is a very good idea to have a children. This is good for parents, because when they will be old they will have care, of course if they will be a good parents ;)
8 April 2017 at 13:23
Bartosz Łyżwa said…
Personally I have nothing against young parent but under only one condition - they have to be able to take care of children. It doesn't depend if parents have 18 years or 30... They only should be aware that parenthood is resposibility.
31 August 2017 at 10:34
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
3 September 2017 at 15:36
Unknown said…
It's very big responsibility to have a children.
Of course I want to have a children but not now cause I don't feel like I am ready. I'm going to party every weekend, I'm traveling and with children it's not so easy AND the biggest problem - I can't find a girl who meet my expectations : <
3 September 2017 at 15:38
Vyvyan said…
Young parents? I thiink nothing of them. What's the difference? They are still parents. If they are good parents then it's ok. If they are bad parents then it's not. AgEveryone has their own thought about that time when they want to be parents. Some decide that it has to be now while others wait a bit. Everyone has their own choice. And i believe that every moment if thought throughly is great.
Hah i always wanted to be a mother so... You changed nothing :D
8 September 2017 at 13:50
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