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Week 10 [12.12 - 18.12] Online Dating

Romance in the 21st century – a few words about online dating.




As the pace of life accelerates, people try to save time on everything, including interpersonal relationships. Along with the development of the Internet, it was only natural that someone used it to revolutionise people's dating. Going on a date, thanks to dating portals and applications is now easier than ever – one only needs an account and connection to the Web. According to statistics, more than one third of American couples who got married between 2005-2012 met on the Internet.



It is difficult to point out the first online dating website, but over the years this branch of industry has become a global phenomenon. Currently there are approximately 8,000 dating platforms world-wide and every year this number becomes bigger and bigger. There are not only ordinary websites which help finding a suitable husband or wife, but also portals which are dedicated specifically to homosexuals, prison inmates, short people or even moustache lovers.


The growing popularity of smartphones with built-in GPS also allowed one to search for potential partners in one's neighbourhood. It was a milestone for online dating – since then, users have been able to set the precise range of scanning, which allowed them to find other users currently available in their vicinity. The most popular application based on GPS these days is Tinder (launched in 2012) and it is estimated that so far there have been about 25 million registered users of it.




However, the simplicity of online dating is inevitably connected with the emergence of new dangers. Most of the platforms do not verify users' identity in any way, so it is possible to use a fake photo or even a fake personality. Someone lying about his or her age or height may lead to disappointment, but is rather innocent. What poses a real threat, is the fact that such apps may be used by frauds and criminals to track down potential victims and initiate contact with them.




The second problem is the safety of information uploaded online. Dating involves exchanging intimate details, therefore such platforms are full of sensitive personal information, and whatever is mentioned on the Internet, is under a threat of being stolen. One of such worst case scenarios had occurred in July 2015, when a group of hackers gained access to nearly 10 gigabytes of data uploaded by the users of Ashley Madison which is a platform dedicated to… cheating on one's spouse.


Online dating allows people to find a potential partner with interests as close to their own as possible, and an appearance corresponding to their fancy. However, one must bear in mind that it is a two-edged sword and all the information uploaded with a view to finding one's better half may be misused by unwanted individuals.



Sources:


Comments

Unknown said…
I was very lucky to meet my girlfriend three years ago starting studies at our university (she gave it up after the first semester, but since then we are together). She is absolutely unique person and I am convinced that it would be difficult for me to ever meet (or find online) a person with such a matched set of eccentricities to me. If I had to look online I would be afraid of wasting a huge amount of my and other people time looking for the right person, unable to learn about them beforehead.

But online dating is, in spite of its flaws, often the only way to meet someone. In a physics-mathematics class, and later in technical and IT college often 90 to 100% people are male. Add my reluctance for large parties and city-nightlife to that and we have an almost hopeless situation.

I do not like and do not use social networking sites, which include also dating sites. I'm glad I did not have to change that to end my loneliness; P
Unknown said…
I also don't use online dating but three years ago I met my girlfriend through facebook. For me online dating are very helpful for people who are lonely
Unknown said…
I know some couples, who started by online dating and I think this is good idea. There is a lot of people who met their soulmates somewhere, but there is also a great group of people who can't find a partner in the nearest area, so this is a solution for them - they can meet people from around the city/country/world, so there is a bigger chance for them to meet this one special person.
Of course, in the Internet you can be whoever you want, but also other people may lie about themselves, so you have to be careful, but by using this way wisely, there is a chance to meet soulmate :)
Unknown said…
I have never needed to use such type of application. I have noticed that people who are older than 30 use them more often. It makes meeting friends easier. But there are disadvatages because person can be very different in real life. I have heard about some woman who faound some younger man who took her money and disappeared. There are people who make money on naive people who are looking for love.
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
Therefore, we need to be careful :)
Sylwia Pechcin said…
In my opinion people who use apps like badoo or something like that are mostly desperate, stupid, irresponsible and just pathetic. I can understand that people can't find the other person to talk, meet ans so on, but it's not a good idea to start using Internet to do this.
Fortunately I have never used anything like that and I'm not going to.
Unknown said…
I love online dating! I do it all the time and it;s never enough for me!
The best app in my opinion is Tinder. It's designed to search through people, who live nearby and send them a date proposal.
In my opinion you can meet there a real love forever and get married with her.
I don’t use any dating apps. I just don’t believe you can meet real love via internet.
However a lot of my friends use apps such as Tinder, and try dating people met on the internet. Some of them have some kind of relationship with those people but to be honest, they don’t last very long.
I think that you have to know the person to really fall in love, and searching for it via internet is just artificial and most time it won’t work.
Piotr Basiński said…
In my opinion dating apps and services are awesome idea and business. Many people use them everyday world wide. Nowadays mobile phones have gps and Internet. Dating serveces can make best of mobile phone to allow people to meet fast. It's interesting and it's also fully working. I have positive opinion on services like that. In future 90% of relationships will starts by online dating.
Ihor Ahnianikov said…
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to look for a partner intentionally via the dating sites or apps, it may mean that people don't have a real life with work, hobbies etc. where they can naturally meet partners in real life. Also it's not possible to check if information set in the dating profile is not a lie.

On the other hand, I accidentally met my girlfriend on Facebook, we went on a date - this was 7 years ago and we're still together, so I can't say for sure how I feel about online dating:)
Dajana Kubica said…
I know a couple who met itself across the Internet about 12 years ago, are still together and have a son. They fit together like two puzzle pieces, thanks to the Internet they could meet each other. I think the Internet is a great tool especially for the timid. Although recently Tinder mastered the world and the idea is not to find love for a long time ;).
kondrat said…
Dating apps were on the market for a while. If we look back to pre-smartphone era we can clearly see, that this is not a new idea. Today, with mobile apps this kind of services got serious. Have look at Tinder app, which made a great success. Simple idea, but so accurate!
Unknown said…
Haha I had considered such possibility of on-line dating as the last resort, if I had ever been so desperate to practise it who knows maybe I would have changed my mind about it. However, I was fortunately not to have to ever try it ;)
I've heard the case of Ashley Madison platform - that's when I've learned what it is - but I can't say I feel pity for these people.
I'm sure that it's a great thing to have, even though I didn't use any of online dating services myself. I know a few friends that did find true love through some kind of internet relationship at first, so why not - it's definitely a great thing to meet new people, potentially improving chances on finding "that one" :).
Although I don't use online dating services, I think there is actually nothing wrong with this and using them is nothing to be ashamed of. In my view, it is a good way to meet new people, I mean, as good as any other form. Even if one them won't become your true love, maybe you will make new friends.
On the other hand, a few of my friends use such services and they told me that some people tend to lie a lot in their profiles. For that reason it's important to be careful about that and meet them in person as soon as possible.
Unknown said…
I don't have luck to online meeting people I prefer get to know people in real life. I don't think online dating is bad and it's only for despeate people because when you want to know someone outside the circle of your friends or people from work it's a good way. I know a lot of people who met over the Internet and they are long together and really happy. Of course just like in real life we must be very careful beacause in the Internet is much easier to cheat about yourself. I never use some dating sites I used only the tinder because I was curious how it looks but I think it's not for me.
Online dating is a great opportunity for people who are very busy. Times are changing. There's nothing wrong with that in my humble opinion. Many people are more talkative and outgoing via online chats. Those let them be themselves. I know few couples which met online. They're happy. If you are willing for e-dating - don't forget about online threats!
Maciej Główka said…
I think online dating will become more and more popular. It is great opportunity for busy people. Many people are also shy to start conversation to a complete stranger in real life, but in online chat it is a lot easier. Of course, everyone who uses such sites or apps must know about its threats.
Personally I know some couples, who met online and most of them are very happy.
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
I know a lot of couples who have met each other online and they are happy and perfect match. The Thing That has change about online dating Is That it was kind of shame and newly become normal and typical thing. No one any more hide using apps like Tinder or Happn.
I met my boyfriend in real life 4 years ago so I missed the golden age of dating apps. Anyway I guess That if I was single I would use That with no shame. In my opinion meeting new people is kind of adventure and you dont have to become couple, being just friends how met online is also cool.

Unknown said…
I was very skeptic towards online dating before I tried it. At first, we were using it with friends on parties just to troll some girls and have a laugh. After I’ve met a girl with which I had a few month romance. I never thought before that you can meet someone with whom you can have more than 1-month romance. After I came back to Poland and started using it here. The very fist girl whom I’ve met was Dorota and we’re really close friends for already 2 years. She’s one of the closest friends of mine. All we had was just friendship and common techno and trance parties. But she’s just a perfect person to party with. I call her a flower kid.
Probably all of us already have friends who have met their partner on Tinder and they are happy together for a long time. So, I think it’s becoming more and more common to meet people this way.
Unknown said…
Personally I prefer direct contant than through the Internet. As someone once said 'paper endures all'. For me the same situation appears when you are talking to somebody on chat and by not knowing this person you can read things that aren't true and you will never notice. This can happen because you don't have the eye contact, you don't hear this person's voice and you can't actually feel the intentions.
This comment has been removed by the author.
I think you are right. Since we are in the Internet era most people live pretty isolated life. I mean, every working day we wake up early in the morning, we go to our workplace, then we come back home in the late evening, and finally we go to sleep. In a meanwhile we have just enough time to browse through social media etc. To put it simply, the increasingly rapid pace of life makes it more and more difficult to meet new people in face-to-face interaction. This is really sad, but I think that this the reality for many people. This a great chance for online dating services like you said.
I personally prefer direct conversations in real life, but the online dating seems to be a good alternative provided you know what the Internet is.
Bartosz Łyżwa said…
When I was reading this article I've reminded commedy with title "Planeta Singli". :D. My opinion is divided and I'll try to present two points of view. Firstly, I guess that it's better to try to meet somebody over the internet than sitting alone at home on sofa and watching TV. Applications that you mentioned in your article are very helpful for shy people or for someone who don't know how to start a conversation. On the other hand when you'll meet others in real world, you're training social skills. It's hard to try on the very beginning but I remember many fails that I've got but I was laughing about it and I'm laughing with my friends till today. :D
Unknown said…
Just a couple years ago online dating was something not normal. Why would you spend your time for the person you can't meet or the person who might lie to you all the time you talking. People in internet are often not the same as they are in the real world.
On the other side, I have friends who got to know each other through internet and now they are a happy married couple. Also, the internet friendship is very common. Almost everyone has an internet friend he've never met.
I don't see anything bad in the online dating, but you always have to make sure that you are secure when meeting the person from internet for the first time.
Andrzej Gulak said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kacper Zaremba said…
Online dating revolutionises the way people meet and get to know each other. I have came across a very interesting graph showing how couples met each other across the years. It shows a lot of changes in society. Take a look - http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/15656/production/_88183678_hetero_couples_624.png
This type of app is not just to look for the other half but also to meet interesting people which probably would never know in real world. Sometimes we can not know another person because we are in a closed community in such cases come to support applications such as Badoo or Tinder. Unfortunately, some of my friends is addicted to application like Tinder and meetings with Tinder people they have become daily routine for them (they have 3 meetings per day!).
Moode said…
I guess that online dating came from the fact that nowadays people are trying to make their life as simple as possible and take shortcuts. It is a good alternative for those who are shy and in the face to face relation it would be hard for them to approach someone they like. But there are also disadvantages, such as that the person you are talking online to might not be acting as he or she normally is. Internet allows us to hide flaws and pretend that we are a different person (a tall blond with long legs or a well-built fit guy, when in fact this people may be the total opposite).

I also think that you should be more aware and careful when deciding to give the person you chat with your personal data and later on when meeting in real life. I only wonder if anyone has made statistics on how many people reacted shocked and surprised in a bad way when they saw their online date face to face. I heard a story when two people met (probably after using happen or tinder) and a girl seconds after seeing her date said: “you look nothing like in a picture” and that she left. Therefore, I guess that online dating has a bit of gambling for both sides.
Michał Pycek said…
I don't believe in dating apps as a matching tool, but as a tool which enables people to connect. In my opinion in such apps people idealize themselves, so from the very beginning they tend to lie or hide the full truth about themselves. I do not think it is the best way to meet, but everybody who wants it has the access to it, so fair enough.
Unknown said…
I guess I prefer the traditional way of meeting people. I wouldn't trust somebody met in the Internet. I'd try to meet as fast as possible just to make sure that the person I'm talking to is honest. I've read far to many stories about catfishes.

On the other hand, online dating is a nice option for really shy people that wouldn't approach a boy/girl normally.
Adam Nowak said…
I don't know why people use those services. Chatting online is a decent way to get to know someone better, but is it the most important thing when you want to find a true love? I don't think so. That's why i don't use this kind of services at all. In this matter we are all animals, and we decide unconsciously who is adequate for us to make a relationship. And by using date app, we just can't do that, at least at the very beginning, because it requires meeting in person. You should rather meet someone in real life, then chat with this person online.
I have never used online dating apps I prefer to meet people face to face. When you are chatting online you could always think what to say how to say and it is not like normal speech.
Even if I'm IT I like to spend time with friends and people that are valuable for me. When chatting online I don't feel this normal connection that is why I like to call people more than sending messages :)
Unknown said…
It is good to have opportunity to meet new people. Online it is the simplest way to start. You just create an account, write something about yourself and you can chat with other people. If it is something really nice and good maybe then you can meet in real world. But I think most of the time people are just lying about themselves. Age, interests, personality...I'm not sure how does it work exactly, but in my opinion it is better to meet face to face and know each other this way. Of course it is good that we have this opportunity to start.
Unknown said…
For me it depends. I prefer too to meet people in real life but maybe people who work whole day can't spend a lot of time to go outdoor and meet another person. Maybe someone is shy and for him it is a big trouble to start talk to someone. That kind of application can really help some people to meet their "second half". We shouldn't judge people like that because without this application this people may not or they don't know how to start talk to other person. I know few people who use that applicationa and fall in love with person which meet in date application.
Unknown said…
Online dating is not for me, because it's hard to find a soulmate even in a real life, I don't believe I could find one online. I just have no time to make such experiments. But if someone loves it, then no problem. I wouldn't say that it's wrong. My friends use dating apps, but I can't remember the story with the happy end. But now it became popular to marry your friends from school years. In such scheme I do believe.

But I have new pals from Instagram and Facebook from another countries, it is very interesting to watch their lives and to chat sometimes.
Unknown said…
I am not against dating apps but for me personally it lacks any romance whatsoever. It is a great solution for people who don't have many possibilities to meet the other half at work, school etc. You can find a true love online but I would be careful. You probably won't have mutual friends so it is much easier to deceive you.
Jarek_Ziem said…
Online dating shallows our human relationships. The Tinder is good example where it went from dating app to sexting app quickly. How can you be confident and feel at ease when you cannot even approach a person you like, on the street, in the class, university, or work. I've never decided to met a girl from tinder but I’ve talked with many and I can see that the relationships and expectations are getting understated and shallower.
KamilG said…
Online dates sometimes are helpful, but I think they make damage more. I mean that in our society are individuals who make fake account just for fun.
Unfortunately some people who want to find true love, end with suffering and dissapointment. During seeking our better half we can fall into a trap of false accounts, trolls, desperate people or potential thiefs.
In my opinion, better meet love on traditional way. By going to parties, meetings or also joining special interests group.
Unknown said…
Meeting people over the internet has it's benefits and disadvantages. Writing with someone, we concentrate on their personality for the most part, we talk about common hobbies and interests, we're often more open and honest because we are not shy over the internet. If it's possible, I think it's a good thing to meet our "pen friend" eye to eye, even if the perspective of such a meeting initially seems scary.
Of course the internet makes it easier to pretend to be someone else, it's a good idea to watch out and not get carried away by emotions.
I have nothing against dating portals or the Tinder app. Everyone is entitled to what they want to do with their lives. If you like meeting new people over the internet, because it is more comfortable, that's ok. Unless we're not able to talk with others in the real world anymore witch is something else entirely.
Tried few times - from few years don't have the need to.

Mostly chat's and there Skype for visual verification. Really didn't like that someone is showing fake identity in the Internet (not their photo, etc.) - that was a completely waste of time talking to someone like that.

On the other hand, If not internet dates I wouldn't met the love of my life - so there is still good way to find someone interesting, especially in small towns.
Unknown said…
Dating online has its advantages and disadvantages. Certainly their strong point is ease to establish a relationship with someone of the same city, the area or similar interests. The disadvantage is certainly the confidence or lack of it, in which we should arm ourselfs, because you never know who is on the other side. We talk a lot about these dangers and often what I think is wrong is seeing online dating as a last resort for people who can not find the other half in real life. This is not true, because I know people who have created relationships in this way, and neither do not fit into this scheme, or do not stand out in any way.
I know couple of people that found long lasting love through online dating. It is not for me though. I like getting to know people in person and enjoy meeting new people generally, not only romantically. I also feel like I don't take myself seriously enough to ever try any type of online dating.
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Sophia said…
I want to get married.I tried Mingle2, do you know any other free online dating sites, I want a simple and free one, not complicated?
Do you recommend any online free dating websites? Which ones?
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MUHAMMAD NAEEM said…
It is good to have opportunity to meet new people. Online it is the simplest way to start. You just create an account, write something about yourself and you can chat with other people. If it is something really nice and good maybe then you can meet in real world. But I think most of the time people are just lying about themselves. Age, interests, personality...I'm not sure how does it work exactly, but in my opinion it is better to meet face to face and know each other this way. Of course it is good that we have this opportunity to start.
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